Can you recall
The ecstasy of your first kiss
The fire that burned behind your face

now I lay here with memory of your lips and how you kept your eyes closed
How I knew I loved you then

I imagine a warrior
lying crippled on a metal laden field
beckoning for one last kiss
with his woman's visage
appearing in a tear

Just cold and lifeless without his woman's fire

Get faded
drink an Arizona Mucho Mango
tell your dog you love them
find peace

do you ever stare at the computer
an endless gaze into white
That feeling of indecisiveness
How can I turn my emotions in genius
I wish that moment
Could be a poem

Those who are blood
are supposed to be the closest
a structure of peace
protection within 4 walls from chaos
yet often they are the loudest

A mother meant to caress you
under a wing of silk and love
resents you for carrying your father's face

A father meant to be hero's tale
A iron man role model of strength
crumbles beneath momentary vices

Brothers and sisters
meant to be the first line of defense
often berate and butcher
what you knew as the meaning

                          Of Family

What to do when the ones meant to love unconditionally
Appear as strangers you once saw in a dream?

I just want to write about something
                           "good"
So bitter and toxic that anything nice
just sounds fake and inhuman
I'd rather wallow
than be someone real
that's all I'll be
that's all I'll know
so ******* blind
darkness

do you ever wish
you could take a hiatus
from life

not suicide
not disappearing

just invisible, obversing
fulfilling the curiosity
Of what it'd be like in your circles without you

Maybe it'd be selfish
but when you're just so tired
a tired that sleep cannot fix
you just wish you were something else

But you can't be
and you can't be nothing either

at the very least
a memory~

would you choose a life without them
where you can hold them in memory
in hopes of meeting a muse anew

or a dream that repeats every 30 seconds
where skin is warm and smiles always
and nothing new happens