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Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
home used to be
a fire crackling,
the furnace roaring
the stack of books
piled up by my bedside
and home was the
creaking stairs,
my favorite hiding places
and the words i could not say
written gently on my wall-

that was home before

but who would've thought
that home could also exist
in the eyes of a beautiful boy
who hid my secrets
better than the space
behind the cupboard ever could-
who understood what was written
on my walls, engraved in my mind
even better than i ever could have

home used to be
the place i would run to
whenever the skies bled
in somber gray,
and i wonder why
i always end up running to you
every time
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
there are remnants of you
everywhere i go
and a minute does not pass
without pestering thoughts
of what we were

you are the songs we both loved
and how my eyes still tear up
when i hear them on the radio
and you are the reason why
i choose to sit in silence now

you are the unfinished love note
that burns holes in my pockets,
the one i have patiently waited
five months to send
but you are also the reason why
i cannot bring myself to finish it
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
i have gazed through this window
for three and a half hours now
as if the reason why you left
is hidden somewhere behind the trees
and i worry about you, endlessly-
with a painfully heavy heart
that threatens to spill out on paper

i have wondered about you
since the sun first kissed me
good morning,
but i don't want to wonder anymore
(is it even love if you have to wonder?)

with a thump of bitter confusion,
i am strangled by my own questions
from a mind only cluttered
with thoughts of one person

i'll let the sun disappear
as the moon kisses me goodnight
and tonight will not be the last night
that i'll fall asleep with your face
engraved in my memory

i'll let the stars cover me
and envelope the scars you left
from the words that escaped your lips
i'll try to forget you tonight
and maybe tomorrow
i won't have to wonder anymore
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
i saw your face in my dreams
you've still got that candid smile
those eyes like foggy windows
and that permanent rose on your cheeks

it's sunday afternoon
and i want to sleep forever
with my face against the warmth of my pillow
just so i could see yours
again
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
a time will come
when my name
will no longer rest
at the tip of your tongue,
echoing in your ears
like our footsteps in gravel
and i'll be replaced
by an undisturbed silence

soon,
your beautiful heart
will no longer beat
to the sound of my voice
and we'll both forget
the creases in each other's smiles
and the way our hands
clasped together gently
as if we cradled the whole world
in the spaces between
our fingers

i think i'll miss you forever
and once i forget
the color of your eyes,
i hope i'll find the hidden courage
to find your smile in the stars
and to unveil the fingerprints
you left behind on my soul
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
I had always existed in shattered glass pieces stitched together with crimson lips, dangerous thoughts, and wondering how someone could ever dare to love something so empty, so flawed. I saw absolutely nothing in myself but the skeleton of a girl who poured out every meaningful emotion that dwelled inside of her into a boy with captivating eyes that she hopelessly plummeted into. He morphed into the blood that threatened to flow through my veins and he was absolutely everything, every molecule that lurked within me, everything in the universe that I adored. He showed me the whole wide world through his own eyes, and he taught me how to love strawberry milkshakes and the glorious sound of rain dancing against the roof. He filed in the empty pieces of me that had been lost so long ago, and sculpted me into someone identical to himself. But an abundance of summer days and sleepless nights only created a temporary bliss in me, and soon the rain and the emptiness numbed me once more. He left faster than a passing rainstorm in July, and on a Saturday night after mascara had stained the sleeves of my favorite sweater, and after the broken glass inside of me had stung and carved into my skin, I threw away every lonely tube of crimson lipstick, shut the window, and forgot how to gaze through other people’s eyes.
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
you've got a smile
that melts my heart
faster than chocolate
left beneath the august sun

i love the way
your smile makes me smile
like it's been pasted on
with glue and permanence

you give me feelings
that i'm not quite sure of-
like gasoline spills on concrete,
all these colorful thoughts
that swirl together in my head
like spinning tops

i am so glad you smile,
but i just wish i was
the reason why
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