I think of going away (sometimes)

Can I think we all been there?

Deep in our thoughts & feels,
Lost down a lonely road,
Confused of direction,
Sentimental with nature,
Filled with want & need
Pained with, well everything.


I go but will always come back

From ___  to reality.

Let it be luck or fate
You and I became legends
Us against the world

With each battle,
Enemies came to fight
As allies made appearance

Wars are ongoing
But they hinder
From time to time

Young and optimistic,
We were not yet burdened,
With heavier dilemmas

We enjoyed our time
With each passing season,
Our dreams became bigger

We were the same
But different in pace
We became a comparison

No one warned us
That we could defy
One another

After our first few quarrels
We used the word "forever"
Often as we overcame obstacles

Like poison seeping in
Quarrel after quarrel,
"Forever" fell short of itself

There were more stories
Of us and our memories
Than memories being made

Maturity and experience
Changed everything
From our minds to physicalities

Sharp pain resides in my heart
Orignated from comparisons
I hated everything.

You recieved praise
And lost yourself in it
I lost my voice and will.

Mind tricks of my own doing
Distance flourished
As did I.

We were aware of ourselves
But we expected more too
We were no longer on the same page

Something crashed in us
It left marks and bruises
Left us broken and in pieces

Unsure of what was next
Our blades were drawn
Wounded each other with deceit

Haunted with hate,
You became headstrong
I took myself faraway

Time slowed down
The storm calmed
Everything softened

My sun grew confident again
Beaming from above,
Into what was left of me

The shadow casted
Showed me some truth
My mind cleared and spoke

Aren't we peers,
Or the least bit, equal?
When will you learn?

Look at me.
Who do you see,
If not someone found and free?

Words fled quickly
From my tired being
I justified myself for you (again)

You say you understood
But your skull and bones thick
With stubborn and pride.

Spiteful knives sharpened
By shared secrets and confessions
Tell me what part of me do you target

This new nature you claim
Doesn't not suit you well
But maybe the colors are true

It might be time
To take your turn
And make a realization

Patience is my life
All I have is time
But I'm growing

I am not the pity you see
When you look at me
I am beyond that
and so much more

This storm came back..
This time it flooded over..
But I open the flood gates..
I got it off my chest..
I simply talked about it..
Instead of acting like I was stronger than it..
The flood waters dropped a few feet..
And they continue to drop..
Soon it will be just a river of thoughts..
Then a steady stream of them..
It will storm again soon..
And it will flood..
But don't fight the current..
Just let it pass..
Hold on to something with someone else..
Believe me, It really does help..

==================================
I am a smiling light
Of your heated Wings of Fire
And my fire of heart extinguished
Reaching at cold end of my desired ice
Looking now at the crimson sun set
Enjoying cold breeze waiting for morning sun rise

Simply physical presence
Identify the spiritual essence
Touching the petals of opening Lotus
We both know bathing joy in the morning dews

And the bitter truth of dry river needing water
Praying for some flood in the desert
Where beautiful red yellow pink cactus flowers bloom
To delight the oasis for thirsty lives
Where camels run in joy to get sandy showers

Written by
~~~Jawahar Gupta~~~

The sun
shines above my head
Stars
are lost in my country

خورشید
در بالای سرم
می درخشد
ستاره ها
در کشورم گم شده اند

==============================
Trust me
I know this may be hard
But you should talk about me
When you brought me up to help you

There is very especial between us
Waiting for consider this love with me
Share to distress
I know I have something very serious
And important for me to know
But I didn't until I run behind me

While I do not forget
That your House has Jasmine
While I may not explain to you
What you have for me
Means nothing anymore than the end
The end of any disaffection
The end of a garden without the flower
The end of memories
Of lack of heat from cold feet in winter
Maybe now I put that suit
And wait for someone else at the altar
As you couldn't stay, cannot stay
And I said run
That you need to find someone
You have to be happy
That it is necessary to go beyond
What is necessary to be close
to be close to be closed
And the cycle continues!!!

Written by
~~~Jawahar Gupta~~~

How do I start this, in what way can it be written!
My mind is full of words but none worth completen.
When you're near me a feeling of safety sourrounds me,
Appreciated at most I pay with my life's fee.
We come from different worlds as we already know,
But we're getting through the days, the process very slow.
I see that you care for me and more as the days go by,
Dont understand the things you do keep asking myself why!
Have'nt seen any progress in changing with you,
I gave my life a whole different look if only you knew.
Im told i'm an attention *****,
And in reality it's you who wants it more.
Inside myself I feel lost in a world well hidden,
Where any of my life's freedom is forbidden.
As I see you come and go as you please,
Hurting me inside I drop to my knees.
You're secrets and lies have me twisted with hate,
With the future untold I sit back and wait.
Wait for my heart to be broken again,
To learn for myself you don't want to be my friend.
See for myself you're as selfish as I see,
Absorb the truth that you never loved me.
Sacrifice  is done for a loved one like you,
That's what was done on my behalf and hoped you would too.
Your excuses are just an easy way out,
Anyone can change that's true without doubt.
I pray every night as I gaze at the stars in the sky above,
That you open your heart and allow me to fill it with hope, happiness and my love.