How should I know
if this is true
or just a lie
if you behave not the same way
as your mouth does

(I wish your mouth would be lying)

Sounds like a challenge,
But I promise I'm a challenge.
I challenge all kinds of things,
Like rules and authority
And demands made unto me by others.
I also challenge things like
Societal norms and standards,
And laws of nature from time to time.

And then one day,
I thought I'd given in to my own
Preconceptions
And decisions and law-like
Negative affirmations about my life.

And then you come around
With a positive outlook
And a laugh that makes my heart full.

And when you touch me suddenly
The world lights up
And my skin feels like it's buzzing and warm,
When usually all is cold and filled with ice.
You touch me,
And suddenly I can see
The beauty in every flower,
And the life within even the smallest budding leaf.

And your eyes
Touch my soul,
In a way I've never felt before.
I want you to love me
Deeper than my bones,
And once you feel my soul,
Simply go deeper.

And suddenly I'm trying to breathe,
Because I'm left breathless
Just at words you say to me
And the way they dance circles
Within my heart.

And your kiss
Is the oxygen I need
To keep myself afloat,
And I'm trying here,
I really am.
But just kiss me one more time,
I promise that's all I need,
But I could stay within
The warmth of your arms
For eternity.
I could bask in the bliss
Of your kiss
For all of time.

I have a
Cheshire Grin.
Just as mad
Just as eerie.

I have a Cheshire Cat's Smile,
I'll coo to you in the wisps of your rage,
"Cool your jets."
And I'll explain how you need to keep
A level head
And all that jazz.

I have a
Cheshire Grin,
Because I am just as mad,
Just as eerie,
Just as innocent,
And just as deadly,
Within words and stories I spin,
And the webs I weave.

I am the
Mad Cheshire Cat,
For I am not a hatter,
No, nowhere near as cruel.

I am a Cheshire Cat,
Allow me to grin at you,
I am in all branches of the tree,
But in one spot,
All at once.

Feel the shiver down your spine,
As this the peculiar nature of this feline
Leaves you wondering,
Am I safe?
Am I sane?

Honey, in this world,
I am afraid
You are neither.

maybe i will learn to love the moon again when it's far away. but i swear, i loved you so much to the point where even my words loved you. and i could see your craters of flaws where you got from absorbing my negativity, only to radiate positivity. and the gray skin under your eyes where you got from watching over me all night, only to make sure i was asleep safe and sound in your arms. even if i don't see you on some nights, i know you're there, quiet in the dark sky. you may have left me for now to continue orbiting the world, but I'm your astronaut and I'll always continue to watch and love you.

Slamming doors,
Stomping feet,
Angry tone,
And vicious eyes.

Screaming.
Yelling.
Harsh words.

And instead of flinching,
Unlike then,
Right here and right now
My fist clenches,
And I want to scream
"What power do you have?
Other than inflicting fear upon those that are weaker than you?"

And I feel nothing for those that have
Left me bruised and scarred,
Spitting up blood during my
Graduation ceremony.

Not contempt,
Not anger,
Maybe a little fear.

And when I feel rage
Coursing through my veins,
I'm suddenly calmed my a thought,
Sweet and Simple:

"My Bluebird."

And it's a song,
It's a smell,
It's a feeling of warmth and calm,
It's sanity in a good way,
Insanity in the best way.

My Bluebird of Peace,
Brings calm around me,
Brings the sizzling, explosive temper I possess,
Down into nothing.

He lifts me into the light of day,
When I'm overcast.
He pulls me into the warmth of human decency,
When I don't feel human at all.
There's a certain "who-knows-what" about him,
And I'm more than willing to find what it is,
And hold it to my heart with all the defensive protection
I can muster up.

Golden rays of sun,
Glistening down from the heavens,
And I'd rather be here with him
Than anywhere else.
A sky so blue it wraps you in the warmth
Of the sweet summer breeze,
That you almost can't feel because the humidity coats your wind pipe.

And birds flutter and sing in the distance,
And the soft call of a crow can be heard farther off,
And a song thrums in the back of my head,
And I feel a flounce and flutter in my heart,
And I want to feel the beat of his heart
Against my back
As we fall asleep.

The smell of apple cider
On a winters day,
And the warmth of the fire,
As my hands spread across a blanket,
To link fingers with his.

I want to remember
This feeling of being in love
Forever.
Yet I know,
I will be in love
With him until the end of days.

About twenty seven hours
Until I see you.

And only one more night
Until we spend the night together.

And only one more morning,
Until I wake up to you.

And less than twenty four hours
Until I change into the dress I want to wear.

There's only one day, three hours
And fifty nine minutes
Until my hand will be in yours again,
And I'll be able to see you,
Really, actually see you.
Colors and all.