In the end it was the tortured silence that led me to the asylum.
Demons were winning,
I had no power to fight,
They thought I was crazy,
“Send her to an asylum now.”
They’d all turn away as I walked down the hall,
And as soon as I left the whispers would start.
They’d look at my wrists no matter how swiftly I pulled down my sleeves,
And whenever anybody looked at me their eyes held accusations
Rumors, Jokes, Gossips,
Became the daily routine of stabs in my heart,
Sleeves grew longer, hair grew shorter,
Lies became the constant thing, and the truth faded away,
Leaving the constant hum of static.
Heart was broken, nobody cared,
My sobs grew softer as I buried my voice.
I was choking on my words,
And writing them down was the only option left,
One option, no choice.
The gossips grew louder,
It finally wore me down,
They said I felt guilty because I broke his heart,
But, they were all wrong,
He had broken my heart, so I had broken my soul,
The word ‘broken’ became overused.
My laugh became more hopeless than my sobs,
Knife in my hand, positioned at my chest,
My aching heart wasn’t hard to find,
Silence became louder, heart was bruised,
Crushed into pieces no superglue could fix,
Tell me, who’ll be kind enough to **** me now?

When I hold her gaze
meaningless trinkets are priceless
in the reflection of her eyes
such beautiful eyes that melt me
or turn me to stone
in my mind everything she touches
is gold dust
in times of turmoil and uncertainty
she makes the stiff breeze become soft
my gorgeous best friend
my lover, my world, my rock

She knows how to comfort me
though I'll never feel good enough
whilst all I want is to comfort her
and let her see that it is me she can trust
she turns the stars to diamonds
then she makes bitter taste sweet
she fills the numbing nothingness
with everything that sweeps me off my feet

She is holidays in the sunshine
she is weekends reserved for us
she is late nights tucked in bed
she is cuddles on the late night bus
she is the one that never lets me forget
exactly how far I've come
a lesson learned with her is wisdom
there are many I'll never forget
her love teaches that love itself
and decency are the reasons we regret
and I'd be lost to this turmoil if one day
I woke up and we had never even met

I don't need you
To give me the world
To provide for me
To hold my hand every step

I do need
Someone to kick my ***
Tell me to pull my **** together
To look at me with that grin
To reassure me

To know they could give me everything, but won't.  
Because I can do it myself
I need to do it myself

I need you to walk beside me
Stand with me