Do any other bisexuals out there know what it’s like?
I’ve read in some blogs and Reddit threads that others feel attracted to men when they ovulate
And attracted to women the rest of the month
And mine is just like that sometimes
But other times it’s not
As the days turn long
And the evenings warm
I want to sink my teeth into a big hairy chest and be held by large rough hands
Even well into my luteal
But I’ve told myself
That whenever this retreat from *** ends
I must must must date a woman next
Because each time I date a man
Even a big one with a hairy chest
I still want a woman
Which of course brings me to my dream
Of having a relationship with both
A happily ever after throuple
It’s also been so long since I’ve been with a woman
Over a year
Maybe even a year and a half
That I barely remember the luxury of someone else’s breast in my hand
And then I think maybe I just want lovers here and there
And that in my 30s I’m still young
And that plenty of women have children in their late 30s and maybe I can have a little *** renaissance again
But this time without all the **** and the burying of pain
This time with presence and seduction and responsibility
It’s been ages since I’ve been ****** dumb
And with someone as high strung, smart and **** as me
I just think it should happen at least once a week
But I’m scared to go out there and get it
I’ll list my fears here:
That I won’t be able to attract a woman I’m sincerely attracted to
That a man, no matter how attractive, will turn out to be disrespectful and trite
That I’ll fall in love with a woman and then I’ll have to deal with pretending to not care what my mom thinks
That I’ll be jumping back into *** too early
That my still healing body and soul are not ready yet and that I should wait a bit longer
That I’ll keep waiting and nothing will happen
That I’ll get exactly what I want, my man and woman, a happy **** sweet kind funny loving relationship where we can grow and create life and dream and cry and laugh
And that somehow I’ll still find ways to be unhappy
That having what I really want
Will make me outcast
Or that in order to keep up appearances we will have to hide our truth

Oh the drama in these fears
And then I think well alright then I should just go for it
But how?
On apps? No
In bars? I don’t like bars
At the farmers market? In the city? But I like to stay at home and dance around naked and paint
And I don’t want to go hunting
I want to just happen upon my lover somewhere
But I keep not happening upon them

******* has become a chore as of late
No one caresses my beautiful collar bones
And I ache I ache I ache

My dreams show me visions
Of people that I miss
And somehow in this timeline
I am never kissed

bella, just be forward with me
do you love me ?
do you love me still ?
because i can't keep living with that knife in my chest
struggling to breathe, because you just barely missed my heart

bella, just be forward with me
do you want me back ?
do you want me back in your arms ?
because i can't keep living like it doesn't hurt
like the blood hasn't already stained my clothes

bella, just be forward with me
do you miss me ?
do you miss the honeymoon period
where we were so in love, so immersed in each other
no matter what anyone said, we always belonged with the other ?

bella, just be forward with me.

sick, sick, i'm so sick of your cybershit

mental, mental, mental
people like you are so mental !
god, i wonder how you live with the constant urge to put other people down.
because you believe it to bring yourself up ?

does your internet status mean that much to you ?

i know you, but you don't really know me.
think about it this way--
i'm your hobby.
just cause people like you are so bored !

sick, sick, so cybersick
well get this ! you can **** my cyberdick ♡

The night is friendly
    if you've lived the day kindly