At the end of all the heartache
At the end of everyday
A man can only be defined by two things
How others see him
And how he sees the others
Many success stories come from this road
Seen like a god, and thinking like one as well
Many stories ending from the other
Seen like a person
Hated on the inside
Others hated by everyone
And hate themselves

I feel nothing. At the end of the bad days, I feel nothing. I am completely and utterly devoid of joy. I do not feel anything beside anger. A slow, seething anger. I want to feel something. Please just let me feel something

You are gone

and I can finally allow

the tears to fall.

I watch her shrivel
In her shell,
Everytime the sun shines:
Perhaps the darkness hides her wounds,
And the battle she fights with time.

I watch her shed
Her wings,
Quite often, while looking upon the sky:
Perhaps she wonders what lies above,
Where even the stars happen to die.

I watch her tie
Her dreams,
Like they are supposed to be,
Perhaps she enjoys the absence of joy,
.... Or the pleasure of making it last.

If there's a way to dig a little deeper into
       a new layer of skin, tap into
something in our bones that hasn't already
       been analyzed and speculated by
doctors under bright white lights on cold
       impersonal tables surrounded by
an army of masked, gloved and
       sanitary conscious individuals-
a method of existing that hasn't
       been romanticized and isn't cliche,
I'd really like to know.

       Because in vicious turbulent cycles I'm falling head first
for things that have been worshipped
       so many times in trance-like
moments of adolescent anguish and
       pretenses of solitude seeking introverts that lie
to themselves cause they don't have
       the guts to do it to others.

Who the hell is alright behind a smile masking a cringe?

       And all the tropes idolized and hymns
murmured by Sad folk
       don't really make you feel special anymore
cause you've lost your individuality
       by stepping into yet another trap.

But then again hating all things has long ago been branded as
       valueless, when in fact
values are the only things you're really searching for.