Really only knew you from your posts
On Facebook
That made me smile or
Made me cringe at times
Or made me curious.
A family man
But seemingly alone
Two teenage daughters
Apparently who you'd see rarely.
I didn't pry too much.
Just saw your presence through the stream
Of news feeds. Every other day..
Only A picture or two of you
Otherwise generic public images
With short proverbs
Or offensive religious posts..
I know your father.
But again, I didn't pry
it seems there was little contact between you.
Today, as the dawn broke,
I saw you'd left.
Just an image of you, shades on,
With RIP, JS (same initials as my long gone timeless love)
Too young to leave.
Didn't know you were ill?
No, reading the comments I discover
it was not a sickness,
Just another day, outside
While chopping down a tree.
That came down on you with massive force.
The blow was delivered by nature at least..
And in that there may be some comfort
I hope
For the loved ones you leave behind.
And perhaps an opening for love to return
To you and your dad.
Who I know to be a most sensitive soul.
And Who I'm sure is quietly shedding a river of tears
For a son who left the world so suddenly,
Just 10 hours ago.
On a winter day while chopping down a tree.

There are moments
When nothing
Is the key
To getting back to everything

today i couldn;t hold it in any longer
i said my piece
it didn't go well
Now I'm facing the
Chill i knew would arrive
like ice on fire
Frozen Lump in throat
Peering over the abyss
Shattering All illusion of
Peace
Or  security
Or civility
Like A dam giving way
But instead of
bursting forth
this water is jagged ice.
For now,
Suspended in descent
we are
in
Deep
Freeze

You're something like the moon
A celestial body swirling in space
A romanced loner marked with dunes
Forever enshadowed in the others face
Man came, saw, and conquered you
Your valleys and hills topped in rags
Earth's oceans have never looked so blue
But at least you're in the company of their flags

I loved you in Life
like I love you in Death
Through and through
As you took your last breath
"I love you Josh"
"I love you too, we'll talk later okay?
Would be our last words ever
That Cursed Saturday

I was unaware of the secret you kept
Exhausted I lay on my bed and slept
Waking up to a nightmare about to begin..
Oh no! How could it be?
Josh committed a sin..

He's crazy He's mad!
I begin to say
As I fell to the ground and started to pray
For forgiveness and understanding
For both you and me,
I had to respect his decision you see.

Now worlds apart where moments before
The future held promise of so much more
Now I know you're in a better place
But I'd trade it all for your embrace..

Fly high in the sky my Peter Pan!
Somehow I'll join you, if I can
I wish you could fetch me
If just for a while,
And together we'd travel the heavens in style!

But when the dream subsides
And the truth 's too much to bare
I'll remember what we had was so very rare

They say good things don't last
But that may be a lie,
My love for you is immortal!
It never will die

I think something went wrong when I was made
like God skipped a stitch and left
part of me gaping open and
when I was eight I found that thread and out of
sophomoric curiosity I started tugging
look at me now
a mess of tattered strips of fabric
all tangled up in the thread
that was supposed to hold me together
and sometimes I get it in my head
that someone will come along and
fix me
but that's never quite how it seems to work
because I was sick the day
everyone else got scissors
and so when I expect affection
I get rejection
and the cold snip, snip, snip
of the parts of me they want to take
and now there's not much left
underneath the pretty face
just tangled thread
and a graveyard of a heartbeat

outside it's browns and greys
Inside an orange glow permeates,
skimming the surface
a Ravel march serenade.
the scent of burning pumkin.
You're in the garden planting tulips for
Spring.
when it arrives,
will kindness bloom anew
alongside the rows of colour..
or will we witness the beauty out there
Separately?