Perhaps time did not stop,
but life,
as I know it,
did.
Whenever I look back,
I'm still there,
amidst the chaos
and frozen
in time.

Oh,
to feel your warm
and tender hands
upon my chest
to melt away this
frozen heart.

There's nothing sadder
than facing the future without
the one you planned it with.

You have made a galaxy
within me the way you paint
stars upon this soul.
I explore this galaxy of us,
forever in awe of the
wonders and mysteries
you left within my heart.

I want to gather all of our love
and plant it into our Earth.
I want to watch what grows
and nurture it with my life.
Only the sweetest flowers will bloom-
they will grow so high that even
the skies will sing their praise.
Let us never stop expanding
this vast garden of love.

I adore you so much
that the joy you bring
makes a sun in my chest.
These tears of joy you bring
are as sweet as honey and
together with this sun,
they nurture the
garden of my soul.

I am just a ghost
walking with the wind
and it cuts through me
like a never-ending blizzard.
All I can do now is
gather memories
of warmer times,
of warmer eyes
of names that have long since escaped me.
When will these winter winds
whisk me away?
I don't want to feel again.

Look in the mirror.
If you still see something there,
then nothing else matters.
Other’s blindness to your worth
is a “them” problem,
not a “you” problem.

I do not get to hold you
But in my dreams that is not true
nor can I feel your tender kiss
but the thought alone brings me bliss

I do not get to dry your tears
but one day I’ll chase away your fears  
Nor can I see your glowing smile
The one that can warm any reptile

I do not get to hold your hand
But I can sing about you in a band
Nor can I wake up next to you
But give it time, we’ll make it true

I want to give water
to the garden of memories
and flourish these
withered sunflowers
that kept me warm
so very long ago.

I lost count
of how many times
you said "forever".
How many promises
of forever have I heard?
I think I have lost count.
Promises break faster than a
glass heart and I'm tired of
picking up the pieces.

I have learnt not to
talk too much in case
my glass lungs may shatter.
I am sick of plucking the
shards from inside myself
so I have learnt how to
whisper instead.

It stormed yesterday.
Today the sky is clear
and now they're yours
to conquer.
So remember, whenever struggle
and pain are present,
it will always pass-
the oceans are yours to surpass.
So fill your heart,
Purge your mind,
Spread your wings,
Go ahead and fly, kid,
The world is yours.

There is nothing I can say
to make you want to stay.
Nor will staring at our photographs
or replaying our shared laughs.
Nor will reading your horoscopes
or your old envelopes.
All I can do is to move on
and hope that you are gone.

Is this farewell? Maybe…
But aren't our lives filled with goodbyes?
From our pets to our childhood friends,
how many people in your youth
who you once held dear
do you still talk to this day?
Whether it be time, location or our feelings,
life is always changing and we
are always saying goodbye.

I was never good
at saying goodbye.
Sometimes, things are better left unsaid,
but overall, I think goodbyes are
preferable to the silence.
Goodbyes can hurt,
but they can also bring closure.
So, while goodbyes are not my strong suit,
they are often necessary
to avoid a lifetime of
uncertainty.

Don't look around,
you won't find me again.
I wonder what's the point of goodbye,
I was never particularly good at them anyway.
They tend to leave me in a mess,
and it tells on my face.
So skip the platitudes and be on your way-
goodbye is just a phrase and phase-
sometimes long,
sometimes short.

We would do anything
to avoid the goodbye.
These last few days I
am left wondering
"will I ever see you again?"
and I wonder if you ask it too.
Indeed, each day brings us closer
to not having one another
and it's eating me up inside.
What will these arms caress,
what will these lips taste
once you are gone?
Must we resort to memories
to keep ourselves alive?

Not all goodbyes
are considered a loss.
Rather than see it as a separation,
See it as an opportunity
to start anew.

The night is solitary,
not sadness.
It is the embrace of the moon
that makes for good company rather
than the unforgiving sun.
These neon lights will not fade,
nor the city ambience-
the soundtrack to my nights.
Once again,
I find myself with a bottle in hand
as the dying dusk comes and goes-
I sigh.

If you get sick of me,
then I wish your days are
filled with happiness but
when the night comes,
I may not be there
to say goodnight.

I wish I never
had to say goodbye
and I wish our goodnights
weren't stretched across the world.
I do not wish for many things
but I wish you to be the
first and last face I see
each and every day.

Knowing that you are
loved is what keeps this heart beating.
I hope you know just how cherished you are
and how many smiles you bring to so many people.
I think I speak for everyone when I say
what a difference you have made in so many lives
and that we will be forever grateful.

Memories never leave us,
no matter how much time has passed.
How selfish of the human mind-
to dig up memories
one thought they had buried
long ago.

From the beginning,
I knew our time was limited
but that did not stop me from choosing you.
Perhaps I thought and hoped that
the more times we said 'I love you',
the greater the chance that
we would make it.

Grief may take different forms
but it is there every day.
Some days it weighs on us more than others,
so much that you cannot breathe as if
crushed by the gravity of a
black hole in your heart-
it consumes all that it orbits
and not even light nor joy can escape its grasp.
Sometimes grief can be a burning sun
or a barren, cold moon
forsaken by its planet
all too long ago.

Grief is a
strange thing, isn't it?
One day it consumes you,
the next, you are okay.
And then, without warning,
grief strikes again at a reminder
of what once was.
You are not okay,
again.

Grief is a black cloud lurking above,
it shadows all who we dearly love.
One day it rains and drowns the soul
and we lose that love and pay the toll.

Rain turns to storm and life withers away
draining all the colour leaving nothing but grey.
Oh, how we wish we could turn back time-
to undo this remorse and break the paradigm.

Our tears fall like rain as we look back
at all the memories now faded to black.
But you will live on forever in my mind
as I have no choice but to leave you behind.

In this storm I am trying to find a way
out of this night and back into day
where I can find sun and solace in life again
and look back and smile from a place of zen.

I have done it once and I'll do it again,
to be my strongest every now and then.
Grief is a journey so very long and slow
but even in storms, new seeds can grow.

I have a compulsive habit
where I tend to cut people off
the second they get close to me.
Maybe I do this because
I’m terrified of being hurt again;
but maybe the reason isn’t important.
I tend to cut them off quickly
but allow you to stay
in the background like a radio;
On, yet no one is listening to it.
I’ll cut off anyone that reminds
me of you because maybe
if I ignore you long enough
you’ll fade away.

From heart to paper,
thoughts have a way of getting
lost in translation

13/8/21
12:49 AM

I'm still a hopeless
romantic but you give me
the hope I long for

11:58 AM
17/4/20

This Christmas you broke
my heart - not quite the present
I was expecting

1:40 PM
29/12/19

Is it enough to
say 'I miss you' before you
walk the other way?

11:05 PM
15/7/20

I miss your tender
skin pressed up against my skin-
oh, I miss that spark

12:33 PM
2/2/20

Oh London, you were
a dream and a nightmare all
wrapped up into one

7:37 AM
19/2/20

Always reading too
deeply into dreams that are
better left untouched

5:25 PM
11/12/20

How can a woman
be so sweet and so spicy
all at the same time?

11:04 PM
14/4/20

There is a fine line
between wanting someone back
and missing someone

3:55 PM
28/3/23

How do I get back
all of this love that I gave
to the wrong people?

7:18 AM
22/7/22

Growing older is
a privilege not everyone
will experience

6:01 PM
8/2/25

I daydream about
you and the places we could
go around the world

6:29 PM
30/8/19

Loneliness is a
prison and I am serving
a life time sentence

9:22 PM
27/10/20

I can’t believe you-
I can’t believe those words came
straight out of your mouth

10:33 AM
6/10/19

her smile was sweet
on the eyes but ruinous
to my heart and soul

11:10 PM
5/8/19

I am torn between
wanted to disappear and
wanting to be seen

10:20 PM
3/1/20

Kiss me in waves of
affection and shower me
with all of your love

9:49 PM
7/7/19

Sometimes its best to
forget when remembering
is just too painful

7:52 PM
25/8/22

You will always be
near to me as I keep your
smile in my heart

8:57 PM
30/10/23

And then you held me
like you'd never let me go-
I wish you hadn't

7:09 PM
30/6/19

There are a lot of
ways to stop the pain but the
scars always remain

1:47 PM
3/8/21