The hardest part
of the year was having
to say goodbye to you.
I did not want to go,
I did not want to leave.
I wanted to stay forever
where you were no longer
someone in my dreams,
but someone in my life.

Another year,
another chapter
in this book we call life.
Turn the page and
begin your story.

Love is hard
to acquire and
Cupid requires a careful aim.
I know this
because my picture
wasn't blurry until you came
into the frame.

The soul is a funny thing-
in one moment, joy,
and in the next one, sorrow.
The landscape of the soul
is as changing as the sea
caught up in a storm of emotions.

Most things in life
do not matter and do not
bring happiness nor peace-
and so we continue the search
for something that does.

I miss someone whom
I've never met before - is
there a word for that?

11:38 PM
17/3/21

We can
runaway
into the night,
hand in hand,
with nothing but
our dreams
to guide us home,
wherever home
may be...

Sometimes I stop
and remember you.
I remember what it was like
to hold you, to see you smile,
and I smile just thinking about it.
I don’t want to stop thinking about you,
writing about you, sighing for you.
I long for the day I can
call your name once more and
you come running back into my arms.
I want to always be there for you.

I’ve waited a long time
to hear “I love you” echo back.
Maybe I should say it again,
or better yet, never again.
Maybe I should trek deeper.
Maybe “I love you” got lost in the woods.
Bouncing off of trees, falling down,
and spraining its ankles.
Maybe it’s afraid.
Maybe it’s lost in the shadows,
finding refuge in a deep, dark cave.
I’ve waited a long time for "I love you"-
perhaps I can spend a few more
in search of it.

they'll save your life-
they'll break your heart.
You don't know which
was better or worse.

It's nice to think that
you might read my poetry
even if you won't

11:17 PM
14/9/22

Such irony it is
when I feel lonelier
in your presence
than I do
alone.

The love we share could
melt away the ice that has
frozen this old heart

3:57 PM
4/2/21

What an honor it
is to fill your nights with joy
and everything nice

12:00 AM
25/3/22

The history of
you and me, it's the saddest
story ever told

6:34 PM
9/7/19

Do you ever feel
strange to be in your own skin-
like a foreigner?

2:09 PM
6/3/22

There are countless ways
to show your love,
each way unique like
every little snowflake,
each one glistening to be seen
in all its intricate beauty.  
Let my love fill your skies
with endless snow like that
of a Christmas morning.

My heart is
a haunted house
made up of many rooms.
Some are filled with books
and antiques from another time
while others are filled
with shadows and demons.
I locked those doors long ago
and threw away the key.

There are no ordinary people-
everyone has a story to tell,
a dream to chase and a
mind unto itself.
What is your
story?

if you were
a flower
then maybe I’d learn
to garden.
How glorious it would be
to spend my days getting
your love underneath
my fingernails
and watching euphoria bloom?

Nevertheless,
I keep on writing to the dream
of what I imagined
we would share.

In dreams you call me
and I wake up each morning
smiling thanks to you

11:23 PM
13/5/22

There are days where
I miss you so much that
these sunflowers wither and die.
Make your arms my garden and
your smile the sun that
brings them back to life.

Of all the places
I don't belong, it is your
heart that feels like home

7:31 AM
1/11/22

so much wasted time
chasing temporary feelings
only to tear ourselves apart
for those who aren’t listening.
A million thought out words
only to be lost in translation-
we pray for companionship
but end up with damnation.

Maybe I will never understand
how you took control this heart.
Was it sorcery or something sinister?
No, I suspect it had something to do with
the sweetness of your soul or
your beauty that leave
even the nymphs
in awe.

Sometimes missing you
hits me like a storm.
Black clouds come without warning,
dampening everything below.
I am left in eternal darkness
that only your light
can restore.

It's never the right time
for us,
and since there is more us-
not now, not ever,
I will cherish 'us'
from our past
and from my dreams.
I will cherish 'us'
with my poetry,
and with the photographs
I still have scattered
in the shadows.

If you want to keep
yourself safe and content then
never let them in

11:08 PM
15/7/20

Just as the
dawning sun
kisses the sleeping Earth,
your smile brings
warmth and light
to my
soul.

What if everything
we ever shared was in my
imagination?

11:39 PM
28/12/19

I close my eyes and
suddenly, I am there,
in the memories I try to forget,
where I lost my heart and
have been trying to
reclaim it since.

I can’t believe I
trusted you enough
to give you my heart.
I can't believe you
didn't break it.

Nostalgia can be
like your favorite jacket:
it'll keep you warm in times of cold
but can become unbearable
when life starts to burn.

The world does not
revolve around you
and never will.
The sooner you accept
your place in it,
the better off
you will be.

You redact moments
you wish to ignore but
my memory remains the same.
Indeed, we are living records
of time and trauma and
they do not stay dead
for very long.

The reality
is that I made myself feel
alone, no one else

5:50 PM
21/3/22

I've had a hunch that
it's all been meaningless.
Oh yes,
beautifully meaningless,
every word,
every touch,
utterly meaningless.

Your words
fill me with oxytocin
the way love laces
each and every word you speak.
Your touch
fills me with endorphins
the way your warmth
melts away the blues.
Your beauty
fills me with dopamine
every time I realize how lucky I am
to have you in my life.
Your smile
fills me with serotonin
the way its joy spreads across the Earth.

Once someone breaks your heart,
it's hard to ever let your guard down.
A new person, a new heart-
one that does not beat so blissfully
as it did before the heartbreak.
We overanalyze their every word.
Are they lying or do they
really mean what they say?
Maybe they're hiding something
or maybe anxiety strikes again.
Maybe they will leave at any moment,
it wouldn't be the first time.
Indeed, we try to think outside the box
in hopes to avoid another heartbreak.
In doing so we lose a part of ourselves.

Look in the mirror.
If you still see something there,
then nothing else matters.
Other’s blindness to your worth
is a “them” problem,
not a “you” problem.

I didn't know you
were capable of such hate-
I can't believe you

11:31 PM
21/2/21

Of all the places
I don't belong, it is your
heart that feels like home

7:31 AM
1/11/22

All I remember
is that I was young,
dumb and ignorant.
You took me in and showed this heart
a love it never knew existed-
and then you broke me.

Time moves more slow when
I am waiting to see your
pretty face again

6:09 PM
1/12/22

If I get used to
your touch then
I fear I would not be able
to let you go.

I never thought,
I'd miss the rain and
cold of London winters-
the hustle and grind,
of everyday life.
I miss the tube,
the trees and the tulips
of St James Park
but most of all,
I miss you.

Sometimes memories
are all we have left,
and yet they are merely a recipe
for chaos
just waiting to happen.

you were someone else
someone who mastered the arts
of how to break hearts

6:57 PM
15/12/19

The JOY of seeing you again,
of seeing you smile again,
of hearing you laugh again,
of seeing you wake up again,
it floods this soul with JOY
and I am left swimming
in a sea of you.