I now know that
I cannot live without love,
but love alone is not enough
to vanquish these demons.
They are not so easily repelled by love alone,
in fact they are not satisfied
by anything at all.
They feed on the darkness
and in this emptiness,
they make their home.

To write by your hand
is to write with your heartbeat
in your fingertips

5:52 PM
21/12/22

The night comes and
I find myself needing you more than usual.
The stars don't seem to shine
as bright without you
and the cold builds.

There are some people
who are better left in your
heart than in your life

7:38 PM
12/12/22

Dear diary;
Too often I subtract
myself from the world
only to realize that it would
not be much of a loss nor
would the world notice
such a loss.

Hope is killing me
yet hope is the only thing
keeping me alive

7:20 PM
10/12/22

There are demons behind these lips.
Kiss me and let them feel loved.

Time moves more slow when
I am waiting to see your
pretty face again

6:09 PM
1/12/22

Sometimes
you just have to
let the anger, the darkness,
the sadness and chaos go.
Sometimes
all you can do is
yield these feelings
to the past and try
to not look back.

Maybe I will never understand
how you took control this heart.
Was it sorcery or something sinister?
No, I suspect it had something to do with
the sweetness of your soul or
your beauty that leave
even the nymphs
in awe.

Maybe I will never understand
how you took control this heart.
Was it sorcery or something sinister?
No, I suspect it had something to do with
the sweetness of your soul or
your beauty that leave
even the nymphs
in awe.

I want to let go
of these feelings
I have held onto for far too long.
I want to let go
of these memories
like a child lets go of a balloon.

So full of dreams that
that it no longer hurts to pinch-
my dreams do come true

10:09 AM
27/11/22

How is it that red
flags can appear green to us?
Are we colorblind?

12:03 AM
22/11/22

Will I ever stop
carrying the weight of all
I have said and done?

11:59 PM
21/11/22

To the bride and groom;
may your love be eternal
as the moon itself.  

11:26 PM
20/11/22

Joy not just by name,
but my joy around the world,
the joy in my heart.

11:19 AM
20/11/22

Once someone breaks your heart,
it's hard to ever let your guard down.
A new person, a new heart-
one that does not beat so blissfully
as it did before the heartbreak.
We overanalyze their every word.
Are they lying or do they
really mean what they say?
Maybe they're hiding something
or maybe anxiety strikes again.
Maybe they will leave at any moment,
it wouldn't be the first time.
Indeed, we try to think outside the box
in hopes to avoid another heartbreak.
In doing so we lose a part of ourselves.

I adore you so much
that the joy you bring
makes a sun in my chest.
These tears of joy you bring
are as sweet as honey and
together with this sun,
they nurture the
garden of my soul.

Sometimes missing you
is like a soft and sweet bird song-
other times, a shriek of a harpy.

How I yearn for
your tender touch.
Your fingers are like the sun
the way they open up this body
like a sunflower awaking to sunlight.

Do not give up hope just yet,
you have still not met all of
the people who will love you.

You broke me even
though I was already in
a thousand pieces

3:47 PM
8/11/22

Of all the places
I don't belong, it is your
heart that feels like home

7:31 AM
1/11/22

Of all the places
I don't belong, it is your
heart that feels like home

7:31 AM
1/11/22

People can get quite
defensive when they don't know
what they claim to know

4:01 PM
31/10/22

We were
not made for this world.
We were made for
each other.

We were
not made for this world.
We were made for
each other.

We have nobody to blame
for these feelings but ourselves.
How we react depends on how
we interpret the situation.
Just remember that you are
your own source of emotion-
the keys to this ride
we call life
is yours.

That time between
Christmas and New Year
has always felt like purgatory
and we are just ghosts with
nowhere to go but haunt the time
until the new year is here.

Truth hurts, few people
want to hear it and many
feel attacked by it

3:31 PM
29/10/22

All too often,
we lust for the
face of beauty
rather than fall in love
with the soul
of the being.

I will tell myself
that I am over you,
and I believe it most of the time,
but then I wonder what would happen
if I saw you again.
Would I make the same mistake
and fall into your trap again?
Would I be able to ignore
your siren song if you
were to call my name?

It was good
while it lasted,
wasn't it?
But all things must end and
though I may miss it,
things are better left
in the past.

My sorrow is a rose
and I am the last petal
trying to hang on through
the raging winters.
Sometimes I forget that
spring does not last forever.

I either have
nothing to say or
too much to say but
no will to say it.

Ever since I've met you,
the more time I spend with you,
the more I feel I've become more like you
and I could not be happier.

Happiness is not
always what you think it will
present itself as

11:56 PM
27/10/22

If I look for you
again, what difference would I
find this time around?

9:03 PM
25/10/22

I miss just about
everyone I have ever met-
I wonder if any of them
feel the same.

Fortunate are these
hands that get to trace your skin
from your head to toe

12:59 PM
23/10/22

We all get a little
overwhelmed sometimes
but the memories of you and I
sustain me the most.
I submerge myself in the thought of you,
that sublime smile and
the sunflower that is your heart
and I feel better again.
Just knowing you exist,
the miracle that you are,
is more than I could ever ask for.

You live, you breathe,
you laugh and don't even know
that you are all my
love, hope and inspiration
all at once.
Do you even remember this face
and what it was
to be as one?
Every heartbeat still beats for you,
for you are my blood,
my soul and my own.

I must admit I
give too much attention to
that which has drained me

6:20 PM
18/10/22

I regret to inform you,
but I'm not home anymore.
I have left that place and all
the memories that remained.
One day I hope to forget
all the pain stored inside
the place I called my home.
Indeed, I have moved away from you
and I am not looking back.

Dear diary;
Today,
I feel alive.
so much so that
my demons are
laughing with me.

Your love
makes me feel like I'm
falling like a petal in
your presence.
Carried by your breath,
I drift into your heart
and make my home.

When the demons
get too loud,
all you can do is
write to them or
let them **** you.

The sun doesn't stop shining
just because we stop looking.
Why should you stop writing
if you think no one is reading?

I don't think
I could ever fit in.
Sometime I feel I was born
to walk alone...
and that is okay.
I have known solitude
all my life and
thought some people will
never understand...
that is okay.