I want to
drink from your
lips as if you were
an oasis in
the desert.

As the stars come out each night,
as do my thoughts of you
the way they set my skies ablaze
in your beauty and every
memory we shared.

When you smile at me,
the sun inside me ignites
and the flowers of
my heart bloom.

The only one who
feels with me is me-
all the joy, the pain,
and everything in between.
Those tears and those smiles
only reach my face and
its my burden to carry.
This is my solitude and it is
all I have ever know.

How lonely is the
writer who sinks into the page
as they pour their mind into their words
only for no other soul to
witness their art?

I close my eyes and
suddenly, I am there,
in the memories I try to forget,
where I lost my heart and
have been trying to
reclaim it since.

I love you more
than the milky way
on a clear summer night.
For me the universe only
exists in your eyes.

Learn to separate
the blue from the skies
from the blue in
your heart.

I will always
look for you with my eyes
just as I will always
long for you with my heart.

Treat your mind as if
it were your garden.
Be careful with who you
make memories with so that
you can plant seeds rather
than pollute what is good.
Indeed, memories are forever
and not the people so make sure
you keep out the locust to keep
your garden a pretty place
to return to.

Being happy and
being distracted from sadness
are not the same thing.

Does your smile
bring you as much joy
as the thought of
yours brings me?

Another year,
another roller-coaster
around the sun
and all its highs and lows.
Some of us were left nauseous
while others chased the thrill,
daring to ride another year.

Do not trust those
who do not converse with
their demons once in a while,
let alone, those who ignore
or deny their existence.

It was in the
heart of winter where
I found, within me,
a radiant sun.

I do not wait for you,
but I am all you have and
all you will ever know.
I can distance you from people,
but I can also bring you together.
I can heal wounds and I
can open up old scars.
I am time.

It is too easy to decorate
yourself with plastic flowers when
the gardens of your heart
has withered.

Stay in the sadness
until you are comfortable
to put it away

1:52 PM
16/12/23

Sometimes it's okay to disassociate,
to tune out the world and be sad.
Go for a walk, put on some music,
do what you need to do
to ease the pain.
Remember,
there is no rush
for this is what it means
to be human.

The demons never really leave,
they only slumber in the
dark corners of the mind.
They do not leave,
do not let them fool you,
they will hide and wait for the
right moment to wreak havoc upon
the soul once again.

To live a good life,
to stay fulfilled and alive
is to keep you in this heart
at all times.

I can still feel your presence
through distance and time,
through the tears and the smiles,
and through the darkness and light.

****, is it December already?
I've only just caught up
on all these feelings,
these changes and
days flown by.
They have all come and
gone like a stranger-
and now it is ending.

We move on from
most souls we embrace,
But the ones that got away,
they are never really gone.
There they remain,
Roaming in the
distant cosmos
of our hearts.

Knowing that you are
loved is what keeps this heart beating.
I hope you know just how cherished you are
and how many smiles you bring to so many people.
I think I speak for everyone when I say
what a difference you have made in so many lives
and that we will be forever grateful.

Sometimes the only
logical thing to do is
forget and move on

4:06 PM
4/12/23

In this heart,
I keep the memories
we share so far and I
nurture them every single day.
I hope we can add more to this heart one day
but until then I am content knowing
that you are happy and loved
and making your own memories.
As for me, I can open this heart
and recall the way you smile.
Indeed, there is nothing more beautiful
than you and our memories will
stay in this heart forever until
the next one we create.

Depression is a black cat
stalking you throughout the day,
quietly lurking in the shadows,
never knowing when it will strike.

Isn't it ironic
how it is out of fear
for losing someone that stops us
from attaining them.

There is so much joy
in the way you smile,
in those eyes and in
the way you see the world.
I could listen to you all day and
every word I will keep in my heart.
You really are a miracle
the way you bless my life with
your words, your smile
and your love.

I am so submerged in solitude
that I longer feel the need to resurface.
I have found a home at the bottom,
in desolation and darkness.
I do not need those above,
nor do I want to belong to a
sun that scorched me so
very long ago.

I want someone who
knows the silence of my soul.
Yes, we will build our lives
from a sweet silence that
only we can understand.

What if a dream
of someone is bought on
by that person thinking
about you?

You have made a galaxy
within me the way you paint
stars upon this soul.
I explore this galaxy of us,
forever in awe of the
wonders and mysteries
you left within my heart.

I hope life is treating you well
wherever you are right now.
Just know I still think of you
for you are never forgotten in this heart.
Indeed, this heart misses you
for it is you that fills it.
That way you are never gone from me,
and though the years pass,
I can treasure what I keep in my heart
like a fire on a winter's night.

Dear diary;
I am still learning to
let go of that of which I
have no control over or that
remains in the past.
Some days are harder than others
to accept things the way they are
and not the way I had hoped
they could be.

You are never far,
just a photograph away.
The nights are never cold,
as I envision your smile.
I'm never really alone,
as I recall the memories.

Has anyone flown
up to the stars to make sure
they were not replaced?

7:16 AM
2/11/23

All my worst fears came to be
the day you turned into a succubus
and devoured this heart and soul.
I was helpless watching it
all come crashing down.
And I had no one to blame but myself-
I chose to focus on your human side and
ignore the subtleties of what you really were.
Deep down I had always known and
I wonder was it love or was it
your strange powers that
let this guard down?

My heart calls to you,
it needs you more than blood.
It longs for your smile,
for your stories and
all of your being.
You are my sun,
and from this Earth I long for you.
So hear this heart calling,
and come back into my arms.

Most things in life
do not matter and do not
bring happiness nor peace-
and so we continue the search
for something that does.

You will always be
near to me as I keep your
smile in my heart

8:57 PM
30/10/23

This mind is a bed of roses
of harrowing memories
that burn these petals.
A storm surrounds me
in this everlasting winter
and one-by-one,
these roses wither and die.  
I hope those that remain
will survive long enough
to see a sun that may never dawn.

Dear diary;
I am growing tired of this mind,
tired of overthinking, of the endless cycle.
"When will this day end? This week, this month, this year?"
I grow tired of society and their norms and expectations.
I want to enjoy life again, to be free, not just endure,
to go through the motions again and again.
I try to savor the good times like a rose,
to smell it, and see it in all its beauty,
until it withers away.
Indeed, I am tired of this winter,
and all the dreariness it brings.
I want to live.

I wonder what the
prettiest colour in the world is.
I think it is a mix of the hues in your eyes
and those teeth the moon could only
dream of shining so brightly
when you smile at me.

Dear diary;
I do not feel-
no, I do not feel anymore.
Sometimes I can feel my heartbeat,
or a lonely butterfly in this stomach
but that pales in comparison to
when I used to feel alive,
to feel any hope at all.

So what is left
of a broken soul?  
Just the empty shell of a man
who barely knows what
it means to exist.

We may not have been
each other's favorite chapter,
but I hope you can still smile when
you turn back the page to
where we began.

When people of
our past speak of us,
they speak of a person
they do not know anymore
and that no longer exists.

It came like a cloud
that appeared out of nowhere,
like an unexpected storm
upon my shores without warning.
One moment there was sun,
and the next,
darkness.