There are few
who really know me
at all.
Sure,
some will know a few
facts about me-
they'll try to piece me together
in a way that makes sense to them.
Sometimes I believe the idea of me
that they have created
or perhaps I don't know
myself at all.

you can let people
leave when you know the ones who
care will always stay.

12:36 PM
6/7/20

I have long
forgotten the warmth
of the summer days-
inside my heart,
there is an
endless
winter.

Your smile still
shines like a sunflower
and only your laughter
can bloom this heart.

Perhaps time did not stop,
but life,
as I know it,
did.
Whenever I look back,
I'm still there,
amidst the chaos
and frozen
in time.

Some days
I miss the sun.
Nevertheless,
I still wake up and
see your smile-
that's all the warmth I need
to start the day.
These mornings could not
get any better.

I still hope
you find comfort
in the shirt you stole
from me.
The one I wore my
heart on my sleeve
for you.
Yeah,
I really miss
that shirt.

Do not be afraid
to raise the price
of what it costs
to access
you.

Drifting across your sea-
carry me away with your waves
away from these people
and this land I have outgrown.
Maybe I will drown
but that's a risk I'm willing to take
if it means I get to
breathe you in.

I am
just a reflection
of yourself.

Perhaps I am
just a window
for everyone to see through,
to lift me up for their own vanity
only to put me down when
the world grows dark.

Our love is
like a polaroid-
it developed slowly and
even shaken along the way.
But no matter what our
perfect picture has endured,
it will always be worth framing
as long as you are
center frame.

The love bug
is not kept in a jar
but left to roam from afar.
The love bug
must be set free
to see if it was meant to be.

Sometimes, it is just
as simple as this sentence:
I miss your smile

4:39 PM
23/6/20

You want a sign?
Honey, if you are in need
of a sign to convince yourself
that it is right,
it probably
isn't.

I
don't care
anymore.
I feel myself hollowing out
as the world grows bleaker
by the day.
These people
are termites and I
just don't care
anymore.

Whenever
you are ready
to let down your guard
and break down the walls,
I promise to pick up
every brick
and rebuild you
as if to rebuild
my home.

It's true,
muscle memory
is real and this heart
remembers
you.

To this day,
I'm still replaying
the memories of you and I.
You may still be able to
steal my thoughts away,
each one turning into
another piece of
poetry.

You may not
know this,
but your tears water my heart.
And from your tears,
love blooms
in this garden
of our tomorrow.

It's cold out
tonight-
I hope you still have
a vacancy left
in your heart
for this weary
soul.

I would rather
face the sun than
face the shadows and demons
buried deep inside.

Despite
the distance,
no one will ever
be closer to my heart
than you.

Just like
fractured hearts,
light must be fractured
to make a
rainbow.

**** fascism and
**** communism and ****
coronavirus

7:20 PM
4/6/20

This year,
we found angels
and demons,
heroes and cons,
standing upon and
deep beneath
this world.

Going home isn't
necessarily returning
to your house,
sometimes it's about returning
to a certain someone that
makes you feel
at home.

Dear diary;
I am my one
and only enemy.
Somehow,
I am content
and depressed
about it all
at once.

Just as the
dawning sun
kisses the sleeping Earth,
your smile brings
warmth and light
to my
soul.

We can’t try
to make sense of
the **** the universe or
what other people
throw our way.
Just know that whatever
they throw your way,
it says more about them
than it does
about you.

Please understand
that if I call
out your name
in the middle of
the night,
it is because you
kept a piece of
my soul
buried beneath your
pillowcase.

I used to
chase the sun.
I feared the sunset
and the darkness
that would prevail.
I didn't think the horizon
could be more beautiful
until I found my moon
that is you.

There's still
a part of me in London-
I left it in my dingy block
on Deptford High Street.
Another part of me still
remains in St James Park,
somewhere in the flowers
and another somewhere in
the markets of Camden Town.
I don't think it'll ever leave.

Maybe living is
itself morally worse than
never being born

4:08 PM
19/5/20

You’re in the colours
I see everyday and you’re
in the rainbows I see
on special days.
Even though I don't see you anymore,
you still make up the spectrum
that gives my life beauty.
I don't see how I could forget you
when you're still painting
the colours in my life.

Insomnia-
I don't mind it
if it involves making
memories
with you

The sum of my heart
needs no addition to it-
the answer is you.

10:51 AM
17/5/20

The closest thing to
heaven I've known was between
her hips and her thighs

5:50 PM
16/5/20

This heart
beats in silence
but then I met you
and now it can't
stop singing.

A new pen,
a new poem
a blank page.
There is something
charming about the emptiness-
a new start if you will.
All I ask is that
you help me
fill it in.

Sometimes,
we all feel a little lost-
lost in a void-
a prisoner of silence.
So come lay with me
here in the darkness,
in silence.
Perhaps we can bring
a little light to
each other's world.

What hope did we have
of ever navigating
through all of this mist?

11:10 AM
10/5/20

Love is
everywhere.
If only you could see it
the way I see it
through you.

All this time
we have been given,
I will not waste it.
I will not give up
on us.
I will keep on
trying.

Why do you always
have to be so beautiful
and distant like that?

5:46 PM
6/5/20

You were the last
bit of good in me.
You walked away,
and never gave it back.

By midnight,
I watched you fall
asleep,
as you watched me fall
in love.

Even when I
write about you,
the ink that smudges
upon my hand takes
the shape of you.

I would rather not.
You have shown your true colours-
The damage is done.

2:28 AM
3/5/20

Dear diary;
I have thought a lot
about leaving this all behind
and buying a one-way ticket
to anywhere where no one
knows my name.
I want to forget who I am
and lose myself
in another's culture.
I want to stay until I tire
and do it all again
somewhere else.