Akemi: Favorites

Jul 2017 Akemi

eternity

Jul 2017 Akemi

Morgan

eternity

he interrupted me
in the middle of
an earth shatteringly
pointless story
to tell me i had
a cute laugh,
in a smoke-filled
garage infront of
all of our friends.
i said,
"alright dude
*******"

that night
i slept in the fetal
position with four blankets
and craved his skin so
bad i didn't even notice
that i bit my lip
until the pool of blood
collecting inside the deep ditch
of my gums, began to taste
of hot metal

today he texted me
while i was at work
and asked if he could
bring me a coffee
i looked at myself
in the bathroom mirror,
sighed and told him
we were busy
then i bought a
coffee for myself,
let the bitter sweet
warm liquid
linger on my tongue
and pretended
it was his lips

alone is a state of being
and i have never been alone,
lonely is a state of mind
and i have never been anything but

Jul 2017 Akemi

whoever told you that you weren't whole?

Jul 2017 Akemi

Chris

whoever told you that you weren't whole?

I don't know much,
but I can tell you what "whole" looks like.
I've seen it stumble forward
with weary eyes and tired hands.
Come close,
I will hand you a mirror
and tell you to look carefully.
Can you not hear the galaxies
beneath your skin?
They paint in whispers
that even oceans cannot grasp.
I know it took a hurricane and two floods,
but there is soil in your ribcage;
your scars told me so.
Don't mind them though,
they're just reminders
that you love harder than anyone else.
I know you might feel hollow,
but there is a reason your heart
has lofted ceilings.
Never forget how you fought
for all that space.
Look carefully.
These gray skies inside your lungs
are simply a canvas,
and you rain so beautifully.
Oh darling,
you rain so beautifully.

Jul 2017 Akemi

horoscope

Jul 2017 Akemi

bambi

horoscope

I admit I am a dark, exhausted beast--
a memory no one summons.

But you rise at dawn with raven hair--
a child of soldier and sun.

Although you've gone,
I covet your crescent grin.

and the sun

within the lining

of your skin.

This was too honest for me to finish right now.

Homage to Pablo Neruda and someone essential.

Jul 2017 Akemi

bon hiver

Jul 2017 Akemi

bambi

bon hiver

well I thought of you in summer
but you did not suit the season--

a pale and solemn human,
your fingers stark and slim.

what was it like to shelter,
in the ring of salt and stone?

you thought that demons could not watch you,
when they've always found their home.

I saw you climb inside your skin, thinking
you'd be safer from within

but his fingertips
poked through

and he was the end of you.

A more candid letter to myself.

(For those of you who don't know but would like to, "bon hiver" means, "good winter" in French.)

Jul 2017 Akemi

iris

Jul 2017 Akemi

bambi

iris

Your eye
is the single thing.

I will fill it
with summer weeds
little stalks
no wrinkles
weighed with rain, like lungs of June.

I will fill it
with the hush of grass
swollen
with sun
your quiet lips like prayers, on my tongue.

You must never meet
puckered soil
wasted stems
no sickness
in this summer age.

Your eye will never fill
with these
trembling
wringing hands--
this ceiling without a star.

I will care for you.

Jul 2017 Akemi

bad ritual

Jul 2017 Akemi

bambi

bad ritual

She told me her story.
How it is to miss another soul
so thoroughly,

that their name

behind your teeth

gorges on

your waking dreams.

More to come later as I continue my conversation with our protagonist. Thanks for reading.

Jul 2017 Akemi

smokers

Jul 2017 Akemi

bambi

smokers

You always come to mind at dark.

Your flesh dissolves
through my open hands--

your scent becomes fleet
and pale.

Sometimes I'll inhale
a warm clove of you

but more often

I inhale you through.

Unfinished.