For the first time I noticed,
that I am not the only one.

For the first time I saw,
that they knew how I felt.

For the first time I felt,
how hard confrontation is.

For the first time I saw,
how what I did hurt them.

is it becomes a routine
the next hit the new drug
awaiting that rush you used to get with
a little bit

the thrill wears off so quick
never enough morphine
nor fame always gotta re-up
buy more everyday

when perhaps one day
you look up naked
without purpose , the wish
is you had for one day

the ability to
do without
and gain back
what you used to have

a lost dream
the normal routine
that caused the
whole *******

thing,
to begin
with

I want to be wrapped in soft shades
      of shimmering blue
celestial greens
deep, dark violet hues
I want to be
       held firm and steadied
yet rocked by chisled grace
I want my inner light
     to flow right over,
beaming all over the place
I want to be strummed
until
the tunes reach ethereal notes
      crescendo or staccato
whatever makes time float
I want magic in my palms
       as I cup your gentle face
I want to get electric
inside your firm embrace
      I  want to feel *******
when your eyes are on my soul
I want to feel that tension
build up and juice my flow
Yes.
      I am ready for connection
ready for oceans to break down walls
No longer afraid of waiting
Bring it on!
     I want it all

I feel.
As if I could dive into my own darkness.
To see how much light is left at the bottom.
To see how much love I have left.
Do you know what I have found?
It the pit of the well that is my despair.
Do you know what I have found?
A tiny pebble.
So bright.
That it could save us all, from the night.