Oh my sweet misery,
No point in fighting you,
You will start again
I'm human indeed
Still feeling her skin on my fingertips
She is only in the wind
Scent of punk rock, grunge and cigarettes remain
I wander alone on the subway, to forget her
Trying to forget her intoxicating scent
I want to get away, everything to start again,
Oh my sweet misery

I tasted a bit of love ... with her,
Like a drop of honey, thick and sweet.
Do not ask me to dance again,
Never without her.
In this vast city, I'm invisible
And then ... here you come again, sweet misery!

We are sitting on the shallow side of an empty pool,
avoiding the remnants of algae water settled in small ponds.
I am wearing a burgundy, baby doll dress, the one I used to wear I was 8.
I say something in slow motion, you laugh like a child;
I forgot how the lines gather softly, around the corners of your eyes
as if you were squinting at the sun.

I've always struggled with writing about God because lately I feel like my relationship with Him is almost nonexistent

I grew up like any normal Catholic kid. I was baptized, received reconciliation and first communion but never really felt His presence

In middle school the only thing reminding me that there even was a God was the fact that I went to church once a week and one of my classes had to be religion

8th grade my faith somehow became restored. I started believing for the first time ever that maybe I was worthy of being one of God's creations

High school came and I was in a sea of public school kids who would look at you funny if you said "God bless you" after someone sneezed. I no longer felt His presence.

My 10 months in AmeriCorps was this incredible journey. The amount of love and compassion was undeniable and yet I really didn't ever think about God. When times were hard I didn't turn to Him. When I was overwhelmed with happiness I didn't stop to thank Him.

I want to believe
I want there to be something more
Something bigger than this universe and the reason why I feel small
Everything doesn't really make sense to me
And the more I try to figure it out the more lost I get
Because when everything was crumbling around me, I didn't feel some all loving power
I felt the emptiness of my heart and the pounding in the back of my head
And I don't know if God is real or not
This is first time admitting that
I always had this fear that if I stopped believing God would reveal Himself and strike me down
But I am here
I am alive
And that has to mean something

I'm not hard,
I'm scared.
I thought the cherry was the birch.
When the cloud cleared
I was still afraid.

At my best
I accept death
As a necessary search, wary
Of philosophies
That assign us souls but not the trees.

Nonetheless
I want long life, yes,
I want to plant my seed and walk the wilderness.
But not yet.
First I must just sit.

Sit and feel the pain
That keeps me sane.
Eat my meal quietly and remain
A guest
In the body I know best.

This morning in the east
The sun rose on the lake. Again
I breathed. I was blessed
And thought to say
Life is not a curse.