I’m not quite sure these days,

Of much.

Life.

Love.

Myself.

I feel like I’ve been craving something,

That has yet to be satisfied.

Maybe it never will be.

I have no reason to complain.

Kids are starving in Africa

I could be homeless.

At least I have a meal to eat every night.

All of these statements are true

I know this.

But they don’t lessen the blow.

Oh knowing,

That someday,

I might not end up where I want and need to be.

I can hope for the future,

And all that it will be bring,

But what if I’m hoping for tomorrow

and forgetting that today was tomorrow too

And so was yesterday,

And it leads on into this perpetual cycle

Of worry.

That I’m wasting.

Wasting my time on things that won’t come to surface.

Wasting my efforts on people that’ll never change.

Wasting my life, dependent on the hope of tomorrow.

Dreaming about things that,

Are clearly out of reach.

Maybe it’s a rough night,

Maybe I’m just sad.

Or maybe I’m just starting to realize

That this is a truth,

That I've been trying to convince myself all along

Was a lie.

I am calling back my soul
the part assigned to you
     who's well beyond imagined need
     which all along was mine

I did not trust you to your path
disguised as mother care
craving sanctified connection
fill my need for veneration

I now call back my soul
cut free these knotted cords
languishing and out of place
**reclaim my essence for myself

Evening,
Simple words,
A good meal,
Warmth, light, song,
Family.