Bordering the shoreline
I sit and waste some more time
in the filigree
of my soliloquy.

I say,
I want to be freed from the need
but there's only me
with the sea
and it doesn't listen,
If I could only be stone cast up on the beach
out of reach of the ocean
with no thought of emotions.
Just a stone
my throne would be the sea that does not hear
does not fear the income of another tide.
I could ride like a King as the Northerlies sing
songs of heaven and hell.
All would be well.
But I am flesh
I am bone
born to wander and to roam through the restlessness
where there's always less than there is more
unlike the shoreline where I sit
where I wallow in self pity
and unless things start to change and get better
this will be
my final letter
to you.

When the sky is drawing clouds across the corners of my mind
and my eyes are being assaulted by the pictures that they make
I take another moment to myself
think about self help and then dismiss the thought.
I have bought in welts and scars the tradings of my days
spent idly in the seedy bars spread out along the ways I took.
Roads may lead to Rome
but for this man ,flesh and bone
mistook the meaning of returning home and rambled on into the brambles of another ambush
another rush into that place where angels do not tread.

One day when I am dead
I wonder if you'll remember me.

The sea will not forget
it will turn again to land and take me by the hand.
With the other I shall wave goodbye
to the shoreline,
my baseline
and the wasting of
all time.

I see them coming
I see their ignorance
I watch them
Until they notice me

I let them scream
I let them run
I let them hope
Until they disappear

Let’s trade wounds: I will give you the burn
under my breast and you can replace
the Vietnam War stabs with it.
I will take them upon my shoulder-blades.

Let’s just lick all the scabs away.
They make you look good, but I wish your
hurting would have stopped
the forty years before I was born.

Wont you just stop hounding me
I don´t want you here no more
I´ve truly had enough
of you howling at my door.



If I let you in
I´m ripe for attack
I won´t breathe
for your weight on my back



You squash any joy
with your huge black paws
Stamp out my light
I´m in the grip of your jaws.



You´re baying for my blood
You feed on my esteem
growl in my sleep
drool gloom into my dreams



You rip out my peace
and drag it away
you bury it deep
inject doubt when i pray



I need an antidote
for your poisonous bite
Won´t you help me Lord?
Friends please help me fight?
As i cant rest at all tonight



I need to unlock my mind
from your vicious puzzle
but until then black dog,
I´m gonna buy you a big mean muzzle!

Its my daughter's first birthday. I  haven't seen her yet.

If you would be so kind as to help me get over my writer's block, it would be much appreciated.
How you can help:
- give me a random noun, adjective/adverb, and/or verb.
- give me a subject to write on, or make up a situation for a character/feeling.
-  send me advice
- message me about anything
- continue to stay awesome and inspire me. Thanks for your support through every tiny phrase and feeling!