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Jun 2024 · 98
unsatisfied
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
why are we
unsatisfied
in all that we do
in most that we try
when it comes to
living this life
we never seem to
be satisfied

whether new to the scene
or been here a few
so easily bored
with all we go through
if you've yet to guess
and haven't a clue
we're unsatisfied
to tell the truth

with what we have to show
we're unsatisfied
in what's going on
the facts do not lie
hold out little hope
that we'll ever find
inside of this life
that we'll ever be satisfied
Jun 2024 · 70
Easier To See Than Me
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
I see the wrong
That's going on
In today's society

Which makes me say
The way they behave
Is so hard to believe

Not once do I
Turn aside
And criticize myself

With blinders on
I hum along
Like everybody else

If you ask me
It's easier to see
Someone else needs help
In the way we're dealt
Than to see yourself

Fingers out of joint
I tend to point
At the debauchery

With no idea
It's me I kid
As they're the same as me

With a show of hands
How many can
Say they do the same

We'll fool ourselves
Straight to hell
If we don't stop this game
Jun 2024 · 80
Questioning God?
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
God, I don't understand is why I'm questioning
The where, why, what, and when
It comes to it, this world is a mess
Where do I begin

I wonder why we're always at war
With you being the Prince of Peace
My best guess is we're not listening
Otherwise, we wouldn't have so many needs

And what about the poor around the world
With no roof over their heads
Of course I have a house, but that's not what I'm talking about
I'd rather question you instead

Oh, and where do I begin on the hungry children
Starving in the streets
Can't something be done to feed everyone
Look at me, I have plenty to eat

And why do we have so much senselessness
With brother against his own brother
I feel we're all slaves to this world of hate
Why is it so hard to love one another

I guess it all began when we gave into sin
And let it control our lives
Yet here I am the sinful man that I am
Questioning God as to the reason why
Jun 2024 · 93
Sleepwalking
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
If you were to ask me
I'd say we're a society
That is in desperate need
Of sheep counting

Part of the walking dead
We lay our weary heads
Yet stay awake instead
Worries mounting

And when we do finally
Drift off into much needed sleep
Awakened by the scream
Of the ALARM CLOCK TAUNTING

Dragging us up from the deep
Back into harsh reality
Jumping in with both feet
Sleepwalking

As we make our way
Through another dreary day
Zombies on display
In constant shuffle

Mostly unaware
How we all got here
Not a one of us that's clear
In mid-mumble

Who do we think we're kidding
In doing the Sandmans bidding
Is this any way to make a living
It's all so daunting

And yet we carry on
As if there's nothing wrong
Just shuffling along
Sleepwalking
Jun 2024 · 185
Tennessee
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
I can clearly see across Tennessee
By the Grace of God, I do believe
Being witness to his masterpiece

As he finger paints the bluest sky
Blends it in with the trees just right
Then on my heart is where he signs

Adds his perfection to the sunset
Orange and yellow with splashes of red
Leaving nature quite breathless

Pastel clouds pouring silver rain
With just enough touch of gray
So, every day's display is not the same

The master artist hard at work
Paints the landscape with just one stroke
Adding highlights and shadows as he goes

By the Grace of God, I do believe
I'm witness to his masterpiece
As I clearly see across the beauty of Tennessee
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
I don’t know what you’re saying
No idea of what you mean
This goes beyond this simpletons
Degree of Poetry

What I need you see is a rhyme
Like Mary’s Little Lamb
One I find in my own time
Will easily be grasped

Using simple words
With no need to look them up
Toss in the till, one syllable
And then wish it good luck

I don’t need my poetry
To dig itself too deep
Skimming along the surface
Is plenty fine by me

My hope is that this explains
Why I write the way I do
Just keep it simple stupid
If you must know the truth
Jun 2024 · 111
Crazy Train
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
Ripley's Believe It Or Not has got nothing on us
Take a gander at the world outside
Just when you think it can't get any stranger than this
The Crazy Train arrives

With the bleepity bleeps out on the streets
Protesting the latest niche
They just follow along, lemmings in throng
Right off the edge of the cliff

And with the two old men running again
Wait a minute, haven't we been here before
What's even crazier than that, is the simple fact
We believe all we're being told

We have people that say they're He/She, Them/They
When asked who they think they are
And then get mad when we don't call them that
If you ask me, they were mad from the start

Then there's the money we spend not even trying to win
The latest in this long line of wars
As they continue to hide, the fact they're supplying both sides
And yet they still ask us for more

You can try and stick lipstick on this pig
Still, there's no way to deny
We've lost the bag of marbles we had
That at this point we'll never find

I could go on and on so let's just call this part one
Before I put the Rocky franchise to shame
As the rails daily laid may go beyond number  8
When it comes to sequels on this crazy train
Jun 2024 · 138
Barstool Lament
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
All of my good friends
Are long dead and gone
Got me out here drinking
By myself alone

I still tell my stories
But even I’m not listening
Sorrow in all its glory
Is the main thing that old age brings

All of my good friends
I’ve helped bury along the way
With me, the last man standing
Over each and every grave

Until then I’ll hug this barstool
My lonely home away from home
Life can be based in cruelty
When lost out on the road to hope

Now all I see in front of me
Is the emptiness that I now know
Of nothing going on
With all my good friends dead and gone
Jun 2024 · 215
Duplicity
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
Be it right
Or be it wrong
Make it up
As you go along
What’s good for the goose
The gander might say
Only the truth
Stands in the way
Duplicity

Move to the tune
Of dealing in doubt
Double the trouble
If you care to count
Would I lie to you
Stated simply
Will come back to take you
Off at the knees
Duplicity

If you need to have
This to get ahead
Character building
Has yet to be met
Once you start in
It’s hard to break free
All liars lie
And pile on the heap
Duplicity
Jun 2024 · 93
Wants and Needs
Mike Hauser Jun 2024
Two brothers, Wants and Needs
Both from the same family
Where what some would give away
Others would too often keep

Wasn't that much of a crutch
Or a giant leap
When Wants wants what he wants
Needs looks out for more relief

With Needs needs often met
The other side came to light
That Wants would too often fret
Never was he satisfied

Causing both the brothers
At certain times to fight
Over the needs and wants
That they have in life

While both Wants and Needs
Have a strong desire
To ultimately be set free
One's goal is much higher

If like Wants you're ruled by your wants
You become a slave
But like Needs take what you need
Then give the rest away
May 2024 · 65
Toxicity
Mike Hauser May 2024
In your hole
Not sure you know
Just how far
This poison goes
Or how deep
Your Shoveling
Is digging up
Toxicity

Volatile
Contagious
It's affecting
All of us
What is the point
Continuing
This staining rot
Toxicity

There is no doubt
It covers ground
Eats at the soul
Of those it's found
What you toss
You also reap
At a cost
Toxicity
May 2024 · 240
The Disappearing Act
Mike Hauser May 2024
I went to see a Magician
He asked me why I came
I told him that I need a disappearing act
And could he help out a hapless man

With a snap of the fingers
Or a wave of the wand
Roll up his sleeves to revel nothing
Then all of the sudden, ****!... I'm gone

Running from a woman
That and the IRS
Not really sure, which scares me more
Not placing my bets on that craziness

I see no other options
Either that or sawed in half
When there's two of me, they can each
Have what little there is left

Or maybe lock me up in a three-lock box
Toss me in the ocean deep
Either way would be okay
If that's the last they see of me

So please Mr. Magician
Can I make myself any clearer
I'll take what I can of your Abracadab
If you'll just help me disappear from here
May 2024 · 221
Red & Blue
Mike Hauser May 2024
We pick our sides
Choose our friends
With all the lies
Give ears to lend

Everyday finds
There's nothing new
Forced to like
Either Red or Blue

There's no room
To squeeze in-between
If you're feeling brave
In the need to be free

They're expecting you
To have no clue
When blending colors
Red and Blue

Finger to the wind
Head in the sand
Blows in the direction
Of ignorance

Bank on what they tell us
As if it were true
Buying what they sell us
Both Red and Blue
May 2024 · 94
The Pain Within
Mike Hauser May 2024
Goodbye sunshine
Hello rain
Half cracked smile
To hide the pain

A bakers dozen
Of secrets kept
Cooking up something
Behind the mask

Rumor tells
Medication helps
With both under
And overwhelmed

But I still keep
The anxiety
Within easy reach
For emergencies

When lacking in
Self esteem
I find even I
Do not like me

Under cloudy skies
In acid rain
It’s hard to smile
With all this pain
It breaks my heart to see the pain some go through 😢
Mike Hauser May 2024
We're coming to a cliff
When it comes to debt
90 miles an hour
With the wind set at our backs

Foot stomped down full throttle
Eyes a crazy glaze
Gassing up the mental
Much too late to use the brakes
and wouldn't if we could for heaven's sake

Wild wind blowing through our hair
Wads of cash flying everywhere
Tossing our future out the window
Trying to buy off 4 more years

Not a single speed bump can be seen
To slow this car crash down
Packed tight van of ignorance
Heading straight into the ground

With the cliff straight up ahead
Kiddies keep those blindfolds on
Talk radio set at full blast
In this end over end out of control
let's just hope those seatbelts hold
Mike Hauser May 2024
Strike a match to heart and head
Set my soul on fire
Use me as your kindling
Burning with desire

For your Holy Spirit
To help set this world ablaze
Loud enough for those to hear it
Bring on the Glory Days

Strike a match to ignite the fire
Of a people in desperate need
No purpose here could be higher
In setting lost souls free
For whom the Son sets free
Free they are indeed

In the fanning of the flames
Hearts and souls will change
One after another
Bring on the Glory Days

Strike a match to hearts and heads
Set our souls on fire
Use us as your kindling
Burning with desire

By: Madison Coleman / m. hauser
May 2024 · 79
Change
Mike Hauser May 2024
The old man on the corner
Wants a change
The young man next to him
Wants much the same

The only difference is
Between the both of them
Is the direction
They think change should move ahead

The old man wants a change
Back to the good old days
The young man wants to move beyond
This continuous running in place

Leaving little hope
Of nowhere to go
When the past is something
The youth of today have never know

Making the old man afraid
Of where the future lays
Perhaps in a way we should pray
That the heart of each should be the change
May 2024 · 81
Wicked Games
Mike Hauser May 2024
Innocent days quaint in the country
With no idea of what was to come
When powerful men under false pretenses
Convinced us simple folk, to play along

Now doing their best to cash in a profit
Leaving little behind that we recognize
Their favorite word, I've heard is progress
But all we've seen here is the progression of lies

Not a single tree, have they left standing
Or fish in the lakes along running streams
And through it all they've had their hand in
Other people's pockets, sticky with greed

With the land cleared out they erected their buildings
Another angle at a slice of the pie
Between give and take they took our souls away
Leaving in their wake this barren waste of life

Innocent days quaint in the country
Are now far beyond long dead and gone
When power hungry men, under false pretenses
Convinced us simple folk to play along,
in their wicked game that's never done
May 2024 · 81
The Poem
Mike Hauser May 2024
The shooting of stars
That fall from the sky
The mixing of words
To questions of why
The beginning of something
Makes its demands
To help it along
As much as it can
The dreaming of places
That too few have seen
The look of sad faces
In search of a friend
The hopes of tomorrow
Shipped off in a box
The feeling of sorrow
No longer a thought
The taste of sweet freedom
Given away
Steps that are taken
The path that is laid
More than a notion
Of where you have been
The poem will live on
Well beyond its end
May 2024 · 74
Buried Alive
Mike Hauser May 2024
Although this may sound odd
As they're packing down the sod
Make sure you're buried alive
In the name of Jesus Christ

None of us rightfully know
Where we'll be, the day we go
Or the exact time
We'll up and spend our last dime

Just make sure your soul's not dead
When they place the silk beneath your head
Please take my advice
Make sure you're buried alive

Yes, it may sound strange
Packed away inside your crate
But those that lived for Christ
Will be buried alive

Where true life begins
Free from death, free from sin
Eternity on golden streets
Free from all our worldly needs

The present suffering that we have
Does not compare to what's ahead
Take this Godly advice
Make sure you're buried alive

Those of us in the know
Don't go through life without this hope
Living unafraid
Of what's to come beyond the grave

We're confident and sure
This shell will hold our soul no more
At last satisfied
Being buried alive

Don't let them bury you dead in sin
Which is no way for man to live
Make sure you're buried alive
In the Name and Spirit of Jesus Christ
May 2024 · 181
straddling the fence
Mike Hauser May 2024
can't make up your mind
on which side
you would like to lean

so, you stand
with head in hand
somewhere in-between

both hot and cold
cause lukewarm
where none of it makes sense

half and half
right and left
straddling the fence

what comes to light
working both sides
you're flimsy in foundation

after all this time
of crossing lines
mistakes that you've been making

playing both sides
you never find
you have that good a grip

to grab ahold
of your lost soul
straddling the fence
May 2024 · 93
Taking Pictures
Mike Hauser May 2024
Look at us all, professionals
Taking pictures of everything
All of it on our camara phones
What is it that we're missing

Busy all the time filming life
With phone in face
That we don't see the light of it all passing by
As the hour is growing late

Not knowing how to enjoy ourselves
In the middle of the moment
A phone full of photos that we love to show
Saying that looks fun now don't it

Took in a hurry, these pictures of stories
When the moral to the story is
We should enjoy the time then keep it in mind
Before any more of life, we miss

...taking pictures like this
May 2024 · 245
Poet Partners In Crime
Mike Hauser May 2024
2 Poets of the same ilk
Coming together, head-to-head
Knowing it's surely God's will
Setting to rhyme, what needs to be said

2 Poets in control of the pen
Easily slipping into the flow
Both with an idea here to lend
No telling in which direction they'll go

2 Poets with a strong bond
A chance meeting, out of the blue
Where magic happens, like waving a wand
You feeding off me, me feeding off you

2 Poets coming together
With a strong desire for the truth
A fact of the matter, friends forever
After all, it's what families do

-Maddison Colman
-Mike Hauser
I have a poet friend that has Cerebral Palsy I met on a site a few years back that I team up with when writing a lot of her ideas about what it's like going through life with her condition.  This past weekend on my way to visit family in North Carolina I made a side trip and was able to meet both her and her wonderful family which only helped to strengthen the bond we already have. She posts most of the poems herself, maybe I'll bring a few of them over here one day.
May 2024 · 80
different directions
Mike Hauser May 2024
one day every direction
known to man
decided to change directions
on a whim

north went west
east went south
up, side to side
then decided down

left went in circles
while straight veered to the right
forward, backwards
until it lost sight

and where do you begin
when it comes to in
it went the opposite
and we all know what that is

which leaves us in limbo
not knowing the way to go
and how long it takes to get there
since high is now low

…all in the speed of slow
May 2024 · 77
The Twilight Zone
Mike Hauser May 2024
We're in the latest episode
157 of The Twilight Zone
Where it's hard to hold to sanity
When we're all vying for the lead

Shadows hide in black and white
Commercial breaks have us choosing sides
Insanity holds the remote
Call it home, this Twilight Zone    

You would think with the channel change
Everyday wouldn't look the same
T.V.'s with their rabbit ears
The picture here is never clear

Take a seat, there's no escape
From the daily mistakes we make
This the latest episode
157 of The Twilight Zone
There were 156 episodes of The Twilight Zone, hence the 157
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
I believe above all else
Beyond a shadow of a doubt
It's not too hard to figure out
This whole world needs Jesus

Foundation made of solid rock
The only love to build upon
From here and now to kingdom come
This whole world needs Jesus

Up and down, far and wide
In and out and on all sides
Every color, creed, and kind
This whole world needs Jesus

Middle aged, young, and old
Hardened hearts, hot or cold
Energetic or in a lull
This whole world needs Jesus

All of those within this sound
Those that have and those without
Something to think and do about
This whole world needs Jesus
Apr 2024 · 82
It's The Economy Stupid
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Have you heard the joke
About the economy
Of course you haven't
Because it isn't funny

About the way
This is all going down
Like my bank account
Heading straight South

You can blame it on congress
Or blame it on greed
Not much of a difference
If you're asking me

There's nobody else
That wants to pay my bills
And I can't remember when
My gas tank was last filled

Both my roof and shoes
Are competing for holes
And the line of bill collectors
Won't leave me alone

I used to dine out
In 5-Star Restaurants
Now I can barely afford
A cheap burger joint

Once a man of gain
Now I've nothing to lose
As I'm running late
To pay all that I do
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
How many of us
Believed the promises
That it would all work out
On that you could count
Then life came along
And found they were wrong

Don't give up, don't give in, don't give out

There's an innocence we wish
We could and should have kept
A blind trust
That all was just
Once shooting for the stars
That now seem, oh so far

Don't give up, don't give in, don't give out

When you're at one step
And then two back
Seem to give more away
Than you ever save
When in the line you stand
Begins at the end

Don't give up, don't give in, don't give out
Apr 2024 · 88
Mother and Child
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Hold me when I’m tired
Rock me in my sleep
Nothing is ever better
Than you loving me

Listen to my words
Silence when I need
Tell me I am yours
Always comforting

Give me your best smile
Know I am enough
Say without a doubt
Just how much you love

Hug me when I cry
Make it all okay
Cling tightly to this life
Never go away

Adding to my worth
How you value me
Stories of my birth
Fulfilling both of our needs
Apr 2024 · 68
say goodbye
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
we do our best
to conquer death
and if not that
at least run from it

all we can hope
is compromise
given the chance
to say goodbye

as we move along
this winding path
the up's and down's
there and back's

on this one thing
we all agree
we hope to go
out peacefully

yet still stick
around till late
not burn out
in a ball of flames

and that we find
when it's time
we have a chance
to say goodbye
Apr 2024 · 653
Life Gardening
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
With flat head shovel, steel tooth rake
Out to do whatever it takes
Nothing you see is that easy
When you're in the mood for life gardening

Aching muscles are for keeps
Patience hides in piles of leaves
Winter, Summer, Spring, or Fall
There's always something going on

With this plot in which I live
Myself, and I, my wife and kids
Pulling teeth like pulling weeds
All in a day of life gardening

Growing up at a steady pace
Equal parts of pleasure, pain
Trying my best to not cave in
With heavy heart and calloused hands

Plowing steady as she goes
Keeping straight my set of rows
Thankful for all my blessings
This daily dose of life gardening
Apr 2024 · 63
Meaningless
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
I've had more than enough
If you count everything
I'd gladly give it all up
And end up with nothing

How many years now
Have I up and lost count
The True meaning of life
And what it's all about

Take all that I have
And learn to accept
If it's not from the Lord
It's all meaningless

I've lived off the crumbs
That wither and rust
Ashes to ashes
Dust back to dust

Like a lost child
That plays in the mud
When it's all said and done
A mess is all we end up

Take all that I have
And learn to accept
If it's not from the Lord
It's all meaningless
Apr 2024 · 78
here and gone
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
this poem will be here for just a moment
soon to be dust in the wind
in the shortest of time it will eventually find
it's way to the bottom of the bin

it might bring a touch of joy or sadness
but that depends on you
and at the time you read it
the frame of mind your mood

it won't take you to the mountain top
soaring to the very heights
or move you to the depths of despair
where it keeps you up at night

it won't bring peace to the nations
or have us holding hands
it won't repair any of the damage
that's been done over the course of time by man

it won't open any minds
or close doors on the best forgotten
in the least amount of time
it'll come and go from every noggin

chances are it won't be remembered
five minutes after it's gone
and without a tune to carry it
it may not even last that long
Apr 2024 · 91
Separate Lives
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
If we that day by circumstance
Had not crossed each other's paths
I wonder where we'd be
Being each other's greatest need

If every light, that I was at
Had stayed a longer run of red
Would it have been too late
For love to come, face to face

Would everything that we now hold
Be an elusive *** of gold
On the verge but never there
Only one side to this pair

Would we be living separate lives
With the nagging question why
Things don't seem quite right
Off a bit on both sides

And if by chance years from now
We passed on the street and both smiled
Would that nagging question skip a beat
Finding itself stuck on repeat

That there seemed to be something there
To which neither of us could swear
Passed it off as Deja vu
Deep down though we somehow knew

Something passed in-between
Tugging at each other's greatest need
About that day that felt perfectly right
As we moved along with our separate lives
Apr 2024 · 56
Here and Now
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Can we try for this moment
To let our thoughts run wild
Peel back the many layers
Take that which we have found

Free ourselves from the circumstance
Of life making demands
Get back that which we've not seen since
We let go the guiding hand

Don't focus on the failures
Which offers little hope
Set aside the part of life
That leaves no room for growth

What's past is past, we can't go back
Plow full steam ahead
And all act to accept that fact
With the little time that we have left

Make the best of our situation
With every judgement being sound
Peel back the many layers
Take that which we have found

And put it all to good use
Helping our fellow humans out
Standing true to what we need to,
help us survive the here and now
Apr 2024 · 63
Magic 8 Ball
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Do we treat life like a Magic 8 Ball
Questioning randomly
Answers that we hope will appear
Most definitely

If it's not the one, we base it all on
Do we shake up our surroundings
With 8 Ball in hand, we tend to go it alone
But hey, who's really counting

We'd all like life to say yes
Turning it over out of the blue
As our run of luck makes its best guess
Looking in the wrong place to give us a clue

It might seem a bit frivolous
The way we handle life
Hoping to see most likely
And not try another time

When we pull out our Magic 8 Ball
Tossing questions randomly
Shake it all up then hope for the best
Most definitely...
Apr 2024 · 57
myself
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
who’s to blame
for the shape i’m in
all the deeds
placed me where i am
if given the chance
to do it all again
i'm pretty sure
this is where i’d land

i’ve trudged hard
this beaten path
how many miles
can this poor soul last
before it gives
up and collapse
doing this
not doing that

i might have had
a bit of help
but above it all
i did it all myself
right or wrong
i still fell
who can you trust
if not yourself

happy, sad
smile or pout
giving in
and giving out
is what life
is all about
leaving behind
little doubt

i’ve done this, all to myself…
Apr 2024 · 84
Honey Bear
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Have you seen the bee
That keeps stinging me
Hollered out the bear
In the honey tree
Trying his best to hide
Out amongst the leaves
Brown is the background
In this forest of green

All that I want
Is a simple taste
Savory sweet, sticky treat
In which to stuff my face
Why all the hate
And placing of the blame
When every bear I know
Lives to do the same

So can you help me
Says the bear with the sting
On top of my nose
Put there by a bee
That doesn’t care for me
Fiddling in his tree
Trying my best to feed
On all of his honey
Apr 2024 · 115
all depends...
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
some will win
some will lose
who gets the choice
in the chance to choose
could be me
could be you
all depends
on what we do

we move along
this beaten path
some have more
some much less
some peoples needs
are never met
all depends
on where you're at

so easily
we lose count
some are in
others out
makes you wonder
what it's all about
all depends
on how it all works out
Apr 2024 · 108
The Problem
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
The problem we have in society
Is we really don't want to be free
Saying to those who make up of rules
Oh won't you please, take care of me

Always looking for a handout
With both palms open wide
Willing to do what they tell us to
As long as we get our slice of the pie

Government assistance
Is the order of the day
It's how some make a living
Living off stuff, they give away

Never once crossing their minds
It's modern day slavery
Without a complaint we're put into chains
All the while saying what's in it for me

Do you see where I am coming from
Without firing a single shot
Nobody really wants freedom
We only want to be taken care of

And that my friend is the problem we've got...
Apr 2024 · 141
The Devil's Drink
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
You have had this problem
From your days of youth
Strength adds up to nothing
When desire has hold of you

You might go a month or more
More like a day or two
Before that knock comes at your door
And the devil's drink makes its move

Where it lands in shaky hands
Bringing comfort to your lips
You once again give in to its demands
As it foils your plans to one day quit

But until you hit rock bottom
In utter shame you'll raise the glass
Your demons you have fought them
But never hard enough to win the quest

And yet you still make promises
To yourself and those you love
But if you were really serious
For yourself and them, you'd give it up

But the problem isn't in the drink
It's deep inside your soul
And until you learn to master it
It'll never let you go

So, you reach out for the bottle
Where you find, you both are drained
The hope you had has gone stage left
As the devil's drink again makes its demands
Going on 34 years sober and though it might seem impossible at the start it can be done and will be the smartest move you could ever make...guaranteed!
Apr 2024 · 214
The Town of Mayonnaise
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Down in the town of Mayonnaise
Spread out along the country side
Mayor Egg White came to proclaim
They soon would be fighting for their lives

Sandwiched between two armies
The tribes of Ham on Rye
Everyone must battle
So, bring along your spoons and knives

They mustard up the courage
Feeling they were in a pickle
The town of Mayo was spread thin
Until their hero showed, Sir Pumpernickel

Who used the magic of Miracle Whip
A bit tangy to the taste
But after all did the trick
Laying all of Mayonnaise's enemies to waste

Where the town brought out their knives and spoons
And soon cleaned up the mess
The Miracle Whip did what it was meant to
Giving the town of Mayonnaise its much needed rest
My Father loved Miracle Whip, an acquired taste if you ask me.
So, in his honor my demented mind thought I'd pay tribute to him and his favorite spread. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.🤪
Apr 2024 · 274
Buttons
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
Look at all these buttons
How could we live without them
From tightening of the collar
To buttoning up the lip

Buttons on your tired blue jeans
That keep your barn door closed
And look at how cute Penelope looks
With her button nose

Buttons on appliances
To turn them on and off
Buttons on our game shows
People pound with little thought

Buttons that are ill placed
By who's authority
Make us turn to those and say
Could you help me please

Then there is the red one
That could quickly end it all
In a handcuffed suitcase
Fondly called the Nuclear Football

And if that isn't bad enough
How about Buttons, the creepy Clown
That gives kids heebie jeebies
Whenever the Circus comes to town

Then there's button down the hatches
Or is that batten, I can't be sure
I'll try my best to let it slip
In hopes of no Google search

Here at this time, I find that I
Need to wrap this up
And instead of a bow, well you know
I'll just sew it up with a button on top
Apr 2024 · 94
Do I Know You…
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
We don't like the way we look
How we think the way we should
Curly's wish their hair was straight
While the Straight wish the other way

Our smiles do not shine enough
Thinning lips could be more plush
And let's not even mention weight
Or how we're all so out of shape

We have noses that work fine
But I like yours and you like mine
And when it comes to hair color
No telling when we'll choose another

We support the creme industry
To make our faces wrinkle free
We hide our lives behind these lies
Of whom we think we should look like

With so many changes made
Who we are is hard to say
Always looking for a change
We dare not try and stay the same

We should learn to love ourselves
If not us, then who else
Will love us for who we are
Before we take this all too far
Apr 2024 · 95
your smile
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
don't think you don't
crack my code
every time you smile
Apr 2024 · 175
April Fool With a Pen
Mike Hauser Apr 2024
First off my friend
Let me begin
By saying I ain't no poet
Just a fool with a pen

Now with those pleasantries
Out of the way
Let me proceed to say
What I need to say

I've written different poems
On different subjects, different matters
Some soft as a kitten
Others mad as a hatter

Every now and then
I stand on the serious ledge
But more often than not
I fall right off of the edge

Like I said before
I'm just a fool with a pen
Drooling from my smile
Cross eyed in my grin

Separating in rhyme
All the boys from the men
Cackling in crazy
From the beginning to the end

Thanking my lucky stars
Rhyming comes so easy
Like a trip to Venus or Mars
Half baked brain and over queasy

Like I said before
When all of this began
I really ain't no poet
Just a fool with a pen
Mar 2024 · 94
I Am Not a Zombie
Mike Hauser Mar 2024
I swear I'm not a Zombie
As some of you might think
I'm just a man without a plan
Surviving on too little sleep

I stumble along as if nothing's wrong
Through my daily day to day
Exhausted by the fact that I
Spend most my nights awake

Without much thought my pillow talks
Loudly in my ear
Discussing demands and other plans
Daring me to persevere

Where in that state I lie awake
Mostly from concern
Of what is next to fill my head
As the world around me turns

Making me as some might think
One of the walking dead
But I swear I'm not a Zombie
Just a man in need of rest
Mike Hauser Mar 2024
My Father would have a fit
If I didn't treat others with respect
If I thought myself, better than them
Or didn't have a good hand to lend

He taught me about the dangers of wrong
And how in a crowd not to follow along
The difference between, needs and wants
Showed me how to be, truthful up front

My Father would have a fit
If I did anything less than this
When it comes to what I said I would do
Or what, I really meant to

Did his best to raise me upright
Knowing what it takes today to be kind
Not to turn tail and run
But when evil comes, face it head on

My Father would have a fit
If I knew what was right and didn't do it
If I lost out on lessons learned
Or took advantage of what I didn't earn

He wasn't just here to be a friend
But a conduit, a means to an end
And all that I was taught
Like his dad before him, I too would pass along
Mike Hauser Mar 2024
If I had to guess
Your T.D.S.
Has gotten the best of you

The orange and gold
Has twisted your soul
And knocked a few screws loose

It seems that good reason
Is now out of season
And sanity laid to rest

That little blind spot
Is now all that you've got
Filling your empty head

Where you can't see the lies
Coming from every side
Pulling desperation in its wake

Not knowing you are
In this game with no cards
And the powers that be hold the ace

With all of this said
If I had to guess
T.D.S. is barreling through

There won't be anything left
When all is done and said
And that my friend is the truth
Mar 2024 · 74
Good Old Days
Mike Hauser Mar 2024
So far away
From where we used to be
What can you say about the good old days
That we've put out to sea

In their own wake, there they'll stay
Drifting haphazardly
Our yesterdays, pounded by waves
Of fading memories

We made the best of it
Both port and starboard sides
In our youth, well-equipped
For those, the best of times

The ship we once anchored to
Gave way with rusted chains
Now out at sea in waters deep
The long gone good old days
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