To have it all and
Pretend to be content
Uncomfortable
Behind walls
Self constructed
Constricted

Autopilot,
Sincerest smile
Removed and reused
Constantly recycled
Carefully Rehearsed
Exhausted

Chemical imbalance
Shadows shifting
Internal conflict
Overstimulated
Collecting control
Repeat upon waking

Sprawled out in my skin
Hair cascading softly
Over black silk pillows
Gazing off into and through
The ceiling flickering from
The candles waltzing
To Chet Baker singing

Fantasies compiling
Eyes slowly closing
To reopen transported
Champagne and petals
Vintage leather jackets
And black boxer briefs
With air dark and sweet

Fingers caressing
Lips tasting and exploring
Bliss in a California king
A variety of beautiful men
Adoring and pleasuring
Lounging in a sea of lust
Forever playing make believe

.
Morn’s lingering mist...
Silently skimming
off the water’s edge.

          Deft tendrils reach out,
          to playfully
          taunt and tease...

Digging and uncovering...
Like a slow and worn...
But trusty dredge.

          Unearthing unwelcomed
          memories of (c)old,
          like an abrupt winter’s breeze.


.

Chocolate with strawberries or raspberries
Vanilla from vanilla beans
Lemon cello cake from the cheesecake factory
Great travel
Amazing museums and theatre
wonderful books and literature
The tears that get dried from kisses
He's like this and so much more
I am addicted to him because I love him
He loves me

C@rainbowchaser2021