Mikaila

Mikaila Jul 2015

Sometimes you're so gentle with me,
And after so long without you it makes me smile to see you be so careful not to hurt me.
Careful in a way you never were before.
And I, for my part, am much more durable than the girl you left.
You have returned with more tenderness,
And I have, in your absence,
Become less fragile.
I think it's beautiful.

Mikaila Jul 2015

We Call For Blood

I don't pray.
Instead every night I whisper the names of the people I love.
The kind, the cruel,
The present and the absent.
That is my prayer,
That is my temple,
That is where heaven and hell both begin and end.
Those names echo through my dreams.
And they may not be free of pain, but they inspire more awe in me
Than any god ever could.

Mikaila Jul 2015

Merciless

So many hundreds and hundreds of people have seen the words your absence has drawn from me like venom.
You change them, as you changed me,
By being gone.
Hundreds and hundreds.

It is a ruthless kind of comfort.

Mikaila Jul 2015

Teacups Filled With Rain

I hope they name a hurricane after you,
I really do.

I hope it demolishes everything it touches.

Mikaila Jul 2015

Why.

Oh, the people I've lost by being sincere.
So many, and I'm afraid you'll all march through my head
Every night till the day I die,
Always leaving,
Never giving a reason.
I am a reason.
This skin, these bones, a reason. I was born
A reason
To leave
And so the people I trust give none-
They need none.
Why?
Why runs through my veins with the blood.
Every look I give
Is why
Every word I speak
Is why
And why
Explain?
Why consider
When you can just
Quit?
I am the reason
And I carry that,
And I carry every time you said I wasn't.
(Until
You showed
I
Was.)

Mikaila Jun 2015

Thorns

My dear, cowardly friend...
This is me saying
You're not truly a god

Until you are cruel.

Take my offering;
I kneel
In defiance.

Mikaila Jun 2015

Untitled

I want to give you something.
So badly it hurts.
I wish I could tell you that the world is at your feet.
But you have to take the plunge.
You have to see it and seize it.
You have to be willing to be unsafe.
I wish I could give you my heart- not just because you already have it but because
You need its resilience, its unwavering hope, its blind courage.
Maybe with my heart in your hands you will have the strength to walk away from this gray, quiet life and spread your beautiful soul out upon the ground,
And grow.
And bloom.
And shatter this sky into colors with no names-
Colors I've seen swim in your eyes with the tears and the longing,
Colors I've felt slip from your fingertips and live in my skin when you touched it.
Oh, I want to give you my hope for you, and my faith that you will be
Incredible.