Mikaila

Mikaila Feb 2015

The places I feel your name are so strange. Sometimes it makes my teeth ache. Sometimes there is a falling sensation in only my hands. Sometimes it's as if I'm being choked. Sometimes whole parts of me go numb, and fizzle with pinpricks for minutes afterwards. The concept of you always did hit me physically.

Mikaila Feb 2015

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You know when you say a word so many times it loses its meaning?
My face looks like that to me today.

Mikaila Feb 2015

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I'll hate you till the day I die, but I'll love you for longer.

Mikaila Feb 2015

*******

Do you still think I'm beautiful, darling? Because I'm just itching to mar something lovely in your name tonight.

Mikaila Feb 2015

Mirage

There was a girl up on stage a moment ago
Who looked like you.
Just a little.
Just enough to catch my eye.
It was when she turned slightly and the lights hit her face a certain way
And suddenly it was your face
Your hair framing it with curls
Your eyes with the smile born into them by their shape alone.
And I caught my breath.
I couldn't look away.
I loved that girl for a moment.
Loved her till my heart broke.
And then she turned her head and you were gone
And I had to collect myself
From little pieces on the floor.

#love #longing

Mikaila Feb 2015

I Will Send You Flowers

Until you left this time
I believed you kind.
I could find a way
To absolve you of your sins, every one,
Even those that burned me.
And you searched,
Like they all do,
For something to mar you in my eyes.
Something I could not save you from.
Something I could not turn away from.
You found it.
I cannot lift this from you. I cannot bury it in good intentions. I cannot find a shred of hope
That perhaps you just didn't know you were hurting me.
This time, you found it.
Congratulations, I see you differently.
But
If you hoped that this would knock you from your pedestal
Into the dirt
You were wrong, darling.
I still see you as divine,
For there is nothing in this world more powerful
Than something which can be cruel
And still be loved.

#love #hate #loss #hurt #beauty #her #cruelty

Mikaila Feb 2015

You Add to My Pile of Good Things

There is a jar on my nightstand
Full of little scraps of paper.

When good things happen
I write them down and put them in that jar
Because I never want another year to end
Without there being proof that joy existed within it.
Anything happy, anything hopeful, anything lovely, I scribble down
And pile in that jar for safe keeping.

There is a jar on my nightstand
Full of little scraps of paper.
Today I wrote your name on one
And dropped it in.

Yes that is a Doctor Who reference in the title. :D

#hope #friendship #comfort #thanks