So did you guys *** together?
Was it everything you had imagined it to be?
Or while you were pulling her hair--
Could you only think of me?

I would stop the world
if you asked me to.
I would burn water and  
freeze fire if you said.
But all that you can give to me
is roommates
at best?

Would you hold my hand
if I were crying?
Would you please
just come to bed?
Would you kiss me
on the lips?
Would you just eat
dinner with me instead?
Would you whisper
salacious nothings?
Or wish me luck
on my big test?
All that you can give to me
is only roommates
at best.

Dear Lover,
I want you to hold me.
Hold me like you used to
when we first met.
Hold me like you did.
Please hold me.

I want you to kiss me.
Kiss me like you did when
passion was seeping from your skin.
Please...

I want you to love me.

No.

I need you to love me.
Love me how you used to when
you still wrote poetry.
Please love me lover.
I love you.
Please...
Hold me.

I swallow him like a bitter old pill.
But I do not blame him.
Condemnation of others is far easier to project.
When not living up to ones own respects.

I scream
as unrealistic apprehensions
distort my perception.
A phenomenon!
Discretion dissection,
every line you
sing-
rings solely
of deception.
Complex and intricate-
a "homicidal contemplation."
A mathematical equation,
dividing every claim,
my undeniable calculation.
Allude confrontation,
as lying eyes recite,
despite self validation.
My fear, it-
dwells here,
amongst the impatient.
Perplexed and deranged,
I am your-
"recycled replacement."

underneath.
underneath my skin.
incomprehension coils.
occupies residence in.
my soul.
this soul.
pettily grim.
quibbling and nibbling.
depleting sanity thin.
my youth.
this youth.
a burden again?
whimsical fallacies.
maintained by the wind.
painted by the waves.
the echo of your name.
fissures through my flesh.
parallel to this vein.
seeping.
bleeding.
pleasurable pain.
but no wound to tend to.
no one to blame.
just this plentiful.
bountiful.
incomprehensible.
stain.
underneath.
undern­eath your reign.