You don't really want me
Or know what I am
I'm more of a monster
Than I am a man

To learn what I've done
In the past, a nightmare
To see through my eyes
Is a sun-spotted glare

It would just leave you blind
With your tail in between
And your past in rewind
Up a flash-broken stream

Yet as it fast-forwards
It all passes by
You will feel like a God
All alone in the sky

Where your setting resembles
The beauty in pain
Born merely to die
While bound to this brain

As a feeling machine
With a lithium heart
Energized by emotional
Chemical art

As it flows from the brush,
Or the pen, or the sword
Machiavellian muses
Of severed accord  

Couldn't stop the all-mighty
The father of time
The eternal high king
The most masterful mind

Who hears your exalts
As the crack of a whip
Because demons of freedom
Are my power trip

And I worship my maker
My change and my spark
With a riddle bit light
And a hint of the dark

You may follow the leader
Or challenge the tyrant
Regardless, the sheep
All submit to the lion

But I only hunger
For words to fulfill
My famished empire
Without the blood spill

Still I hold no claim
To this gilded cage feast
I wish only to tame
This industrial beast

End the ownership over
This name-branded earth
And slash the price tags
From the truth in the dirt

When I rise from the void
The undeadliest ghost
The half-life of the party
The first Sunday post

I am rare breeds of rebel
The blue-shaded red
I'm the hammer and sickle
The grim reaper's dread

My coup will be swift
Like a thief in the night
My reign will endure  
Through the ages I write

My purge will emerge
In the surging of storms
My war will lay waste
To these spineless conforms

And from ashes of norms
And the freeing of slaves
I will build pyramids
Atop amber grain waves

I will cleanse atmos-fears
With metropolis trees
Deforested cities
Will fall to their knees

But I will uplift them
To share in my vision
As I keep the peace treaty
Sealed in this prism

At this point
I’d settle
For cliché rose petals
Still plucked and discarded
For wine bottle revels
In nights we spend days
Barely seeing each other
The difference it makes
Is estrangement as lovers
But I have still yet to uncover
The veil
When I try to discover
What’s under
I fail
To see why
We so gallantly,
Typically,
Think we must strive
To prove all of mankind
Is affirmed
By a bride

Stare into this screen
And await your reply
Like anticipating
When you know it’s goodbye
But feels more like what’s up
Once again
Seamlessly
Typing texts
And then sending them when
They read
Sounds more like me
Scrutinizing for errors
In spelling and grammar
And adding some more
Of my lexicon glamor
Since stammering in my head
Spoken words
Stutter
But pausing to sift through
The cognitive clutter
Is how I uncover
The secret encoded
But none to discover
When lovers don’t seem to be
Deeply embedded
In these messages
Or their absence
I’ve dreaded

Weekend away
Weakened in this new state
I feel aging
Contagion
My veins permeate
Permanent
Mental illness
Sequestered aside
For it goes undefined
But still no where to hide
The whole time
I’ve exhausted
My options
Are toxins
For fun
Has become
An impossible topic
Discussion
Just leave me alone
I’m not talking
Except to
The me’s that I’m prone
To prepare
To pretend
To prevent hitting send
Doesn’t get any sadder
Just happily end

To be back in America
Comfort and solace
I'd find in amenities,
Pleasantries,
Remedies
For my deprived of joy blues
My relinquishing of
All the foods I could choose
To indulge in
To bring
Satisfaction
Contention
But still such an emptiness
Failure
To mention
What eats me
And haunts
Such a gaunt
Figure, frail
When this sinister skeleton's
Soul is for sale
Everyday I'm a part
Of the whole status quo
That no matter where I
Seem to go
Goes to show
There is no extrication
No true liberation,
Release
From the grip
From the clutches'
Injustice
For all we submit
To mentality mobs
And the slave-driver's whip
Ever am I the servant
Out here
Or back home
Ever pushing uphill
My infinity stone
But the masters
I find
I could be
Seldom times
Simple rhymes
Are my land of the free

Getting closer
Wasn’t sober
Nor was she
Just eerily,
Intuitively
Reading me
Like energies
And aura stuff
Enough deduced  
To call my bluff
Before I even made it
Stating
Might as well
Depart this place
And maybe see
Where all this leads
But so convinced was she
To sleep

Vile urchin
Always searching
Never seems
To know
Himself
Cant play the hand of cards
He’s dealt
Everyone else
Is unaware
How garish fanfare
Everywhere
Spares no expense
To steal their minds
As his just constantly
Rewinds

Imagine her gone
Then from there
Make it work
Until therein
The revenant
Residents lurk
And its resonance
Echo this
Desperate
Directive
Return to me
All we once were
Irrespective
Of countless transgressions
Committed
As innocents
Victimless crimes
Become indolent mimes
In the incidents
Making themselves
All the time
Before ever there was
Such a thing
As a promise
To keep us instilled
In a pocket watch
Locket
So locked in
The notion
Emotions must profit
From some innate use
Of what one can provide
And if not
Well…
What good am I!?
Sweep me aside
If we cannot confide
Anymore
Then it’s clear
That the vision
Envisaged
Was further
Than near

No ghosts of Christmas
Long deceased
Could bring this
Bitter recluse
Peace
Can’t make me feel
Appeals to reason
Nor good tiding’s
Seasons greetings
Leading to
My guilt admission
No persistent
Apparition
Yields my penitent
Submission
Crippled-Cratchet-crutch
Contrition
Errant in my unapparent
Heir
I bare
The lion’s share
Of wealth, it’s mine
I do not care
Of other’s health
Or ill-repine
No petty pity
Robs me blind
Nor filthy pauper’s paws
A dime
Shall ever from mine own
Divest
So spooks
I beg you
Let me rest
And leave me to
My undisturbed
Lamenting torments
I deserved
Accursed by misfortunes
Earned
Still haunted by
The lovers spurned
Hellfire hath
My bridges burned
So turn from me,
Depart,
Be gone
Fell spectral fiends
Before the dawn’s
Unbearable
Arising heralds
More unwelcome
Christmas carols

Not the GOAT
I’m the satyr
The living hell raiser
The wicked witch
Kingdom come’s
Last savior slaver
A treacherous,
Lecherous,
Heathen heart-*****
The stake through
The maker’s
Snake oil dictator
The hiss of death,
Venom-fang
Language translator
Original sin’s
Grin and bare intimater
Serrated edge,
Biting blade,
Weeping-vein razor
The later dude
Crude metal-headed
Crusader
The twisted mind
Victimless crime
Perpetrator
A raider of arks,  
A dark arts educator
A jack of all trades
But a 2 at hard labor
Unsavory aftertastes,
Spider face craters,
And spite, blight and plight
Just for fun
Instigator
From cradle to grave
Misbehavior’s
Disclaimers
Disclosing your soul
To my Faustian waivers
Dispose of your woes
In my incinerator
And from it compose with me
Frozen rose prose  
But be free of its crown of thorns
Horned in shadows

Now the collapse
Of malicious intent
Evident
Since
Investment
In overpriced rent
For the tenement
Slumlord
Evicting
Dismissing
The neediest
Dreamer ingredient
Tents
Much prefers  
The exclusive
Live interview
Strips
Real estate
In conversion
To e-stated
Whips

Ah
No way
Don’t do that to me
It was on its way down
And you weren’t there to see
Shattered fragments
Of traumatic
Past transgression
Infamy
As plainly as
I can explain
The common knowledge
Global reign
The stories still
Beyond belief
As bleed a tree
And bleach the reef
And grief can’t sleep
Still trades in sheep
The fief is mine alone
To own
The leaflet is
My precious stone
A thief within
The phantom zone

An acquired taste
No doubt it takes
Some time to wait
Until it seems to make
You crave it
Savor every flavor
Mixed together on the plate
A flat and fluffy,
Full of grainy
Goodness, sourdough pancake
You rip and tear it,
Often share it
Rarely in the gorsha form
But wash your hands before you dare it
Grin and bare this culture norm

Best make this quick
I don’t have all day
To be writing,
And writing,
And writing away
Surely would
If I could
But it never seems good
Or enough of what I
Really mean to convey

I felt solace with you
Not some happiness lie
It’s when old friends return
I’m reminded of why
I am smart,
A good person
You seemed to agree
Hold my own in contempt
But still think we were free
To be anything
More than just
Pre-destiny
Or enamored with ego
Attachment compels
Us to think ourselves more
Than a pile of cells

Almost forgotten
My daily prescription
A dose of the coffin
Cacophonous diction
I caution you isn’t
For faint of heart
Written
Just listen to how
By the sound
Of its scraping
Against the confines
Of its rhyme’s
No escaping

Should get back to writing
Now quiet
The mind
But instead
I make boisterous
Tumults inside
There’s no way
She’s not taken
Don’t even try
Save it
For some other
One in a billion
Vicissitudes
Pass through my life
And expect me not
To confuse
Fate with coincidence
Once again
Increments
Come and they go
What remains
Is eventually I
Start all over
A gains

Or don’t let sappy ****
Contain you
Nothing I could do
Can change you
Nor do I
Intend to try
With or without you
Rather die
Avoid such fatalist extremes
A couple nights apart
Just means
We can continue
Ourselves
As gradually
Together melds
Prefer to be alone
Or roam
Into beside each other,
Home

Let me dwell in darkness knell
On everything I thought was well
And revel in the deepest
Spells
Awaiting what the evening
Sells
And then the end
Excels
And fells
The forest that I cared
Could be
The everything I thought
Was we
The most uncanny mystifying
Calculation
Truth denying
Twisted face
Away erase
Some lesser being
I was whence
From there I disappeared
And gone
I was still journeying
Upon
Some final answers
All must know
The undertow

Is where the say soothes
In my doom
Indecision  
The gloom in my room
Is a you
Apparition
The ghost of my former
Most self-cynicism
Just looking back inward
Deep into
My innards  
Of brain matter
Scattered
About me in thin words

The memories
Over-identified with
Become who we are now
A self-evident myth
That we tell ourselves
Better or worse
Still defines
Us as trauma,
Mistakes
Or a moment in time
A goodbye for now
Special someone
Is not I
Just a part of the story
And in it resides
Where it shall
Be remembered,
Preserved and referred
Back to when
You require
Your tale to be heard

I told you all this
Was for you
An eon
Ago
Never quite knew
You would truly
Beyond me though
Even in hindsight
I write for you now
Not the slightest idea
Of its fall apart
How
Could it come to this
Missing you more
Than I care to express
Or would even think
Possible
Under duress
If you pressed me
With that kind of warmth again
Gladly
Embrace you
Retracing  
My steps into madness
When I was incapable
Of showing love
Was no more to me
Than
Merely you
Dreaming of
Some edenic utopian
Light shining through
The shroom windows
Perception
With you in my room
So attuned to your frequency
Seeking me
Weak  
At my most
Vulnerable
State of mental
Mystique

Were you to look beneath the beard
   Into relation ships I've steered
Straight to a last horizon grave
   Of passiongers I couldn't save
Perhaps you'd sea this dark blue face
   Reflects my grotesque happy place
Where I do my deepest sinking
   Trenched in Marianas thinking
Ever tied to lament blocks
   From crashing on existence rocks

The anchors of my ego's gold
   That monstrous me creatures hath sold
Charybdis maelstrom consciousness
   Leviathans of meaningless
Release the kraken to reveal
   The siren songs she made me feel
My sails surrendered to her kiss
   But plundered too much black abyss
A pirate's life of *** and coke
    Not worth its weight in cannon smoke  

Left me adriftwood wandering
   The lonely shorelines pondering
Why does the faithful sun still rise
   Aware that it just sets and dies
Surely there must be some dry lands
   With castles of the whitest sands
Such constructs will essentially
   Just wash away eventually
Remembered not by some divine
   Forgotten in the wake of time

No marks I've made can drown out death
   No words I write return the breath
That Aphrodite set in foam
   And then shipwrecking me to roam
My cargo hold of loveless cells
   To piece back broken-hearted shells
Consider this next time you ask
   What lies submerged beneath this mask
A dead man's chest that finds its peace
   In nothing but when all things cease

Blue and Grey
The ocean and sky
The saddest display
Of life passing by

All secrets kept
Deep down within
All dreams of hope swept
Away with the wind

To ceaseless tides flow
All pain I bequeath
Yet seldom I show
The monsters beneath

In the wake I confide
My cold-blooded chill
Like a nimbus I’ve cried
As I let my guts spill

Darkness at heart
Lonely shore sorrow
A black abyss art
A tempest tomorrow

Drowned in this thinking
Storm clouds have shrouded
Further I'm sinking
To depths I once doubted

Adrift in lost love
As horizons beseech
The heavens above
Always just out of reach

Doesn’t need to be novelty’s
Next revelation
Adding factorials
To the equation
That always results
In a nightly reveal
One more piece to the puzzle
Of what I conceal
When complete
Will appear
To compose me
The soma
And unto my readers
Convey its
Persona

Further down the wishing well
The pale horses descend
The wheel of time is turning
As we're thirsting for the end

Faith's accursed plagues have reaped
The Eden fruits with drought
Apocalyptic famine's war
Yet spill no drop of doubt

The only change is rising seas
That flood the streets in vice
Treading in the melting ***
As cook's increase the price

The cost of life almost as high
As crossing Heaven's border
For the heathens' health and home
We offer you no quarter

Here lion rules devour  
All the naive little lambs
And prayers will fill the bellies of
The beggar's hungry hands

Now fear and hatred subjugate
The mass consumption slaves
Buying that salvation lies
Somewhere beyond the graves

Locked inside such walls we jail
Convictions in a cell
Of mind incarceration
With a death sentence to hell

In anthems of hypocrisy
To not take part is treason
Yet burning cross injustices
Need only pious reason

To deny the evidence  
That helps us to evolve
From silly monkey problems
Flinging **** can not resolve

Unless this nation under God
Pledges loyalty
To the truths it has forsaken
We can not be free

Caught in a time warp
Of forward reverse
I have been to the future
The present is worse
And the past is the key
To the clock on the cage
Of the random screen cell
When the prison's a wage
And now nothing is real
I don't know who I am
Just what I am made of
And where I will stand
With my toes in the sand
And my body, the waves
Ironclad in a mountain
Of watery graves
To which I've adapted
To this changing climate
In my peace on earth
You have only to find it

Always something
Missing there
Standing in the way
Affair
She’s gone
And gone
And gone
And gone
They either drag
Or lead me on
Attraction always
Missing piece
Their outlook always
Lacking peace
As I
Have reimagined it  
They’d rather stare
In silence sit
As if I was
Somehow amusing
Like some crass
Class clown
Confusing
What I wanted
Out of this
With someone
I goodnightly
Kiss
But seldom miss
Or long to hold
Together
Never
Growing old

Conflict breeds
Catastrophe  
We greet it with
Alacrity
Come back with me
To see
The day
There ever was
A different way
Embedded in the DNA
We simply can’t resist
The urge
To scourge the Earth
And from it purge
The chance to see
Ourselves the same
Ironic how
We place the blame
When all complicity
Relates
To human nature’s
Glacial pace
To change,
Improve,
Evolve
As one
Resolve to cities
Overrun
Undone
Until
The sun is numb
And ghosts of gods
What we become

A rustle in trees
Straight ahead
Line of sight
Out appears
A bold, alpha baboon,
Appears frightened
Its keen senses heightened
Igniting its
Fight or flight
Primal excitement
Bewildered on edge
By this guest uninvited
Delighted to make its acquaintance
Despite
Of its quick to take parting,
Decisively darting
Out into the clearing
And steering its family
Clear of my staring
But never breaks glaring
Back at me, intense
Of its all too brief presence
I take no offense
Distant cousins
With pleasantries
Often dispense

Earth as it’s gleaming
In radiant splendor
It renders me speechless
Tongue-twisted endeavor
A pleasure I never felt
Ever before
And a severance with
A desire for more
If I could
I would share it
With all of life’s forms
And for them proudly wear it
A crown of sharp thorns
As my hurricane brain
Storms a gentle, tempestuous
Restive and festive
Pellucid perfectionist
Scheming and dreaming
What all lack of meaning
I glean to be me
In the solace of being
As fleeting as eons
Abscond out of sight
In the eyes
Of the chosen sun child’s
Delight

Every night is cold,
It eats my soul,
It lets me go
And though unknown to you
Embitters
As it withers
Me in woe
A freezing rain,
Unceasing pain,
An endless
Friendless
Winter day
An empty space,
Estranged embrace
Encased
In icy
Psyche
Wastes

Sort of driving me crazy
How much
Lament heavies
It weighs
On my subconsciousness  
Consciences
As it levies
All odds
Stacked against me
It knows what I want
More than I ever could
How it knows
It wants you
Even if
It’s not good
And it wants
To apologize
See you sometimes
But still wants
To be so far alone
In demises
Comprising
The see you again
But why would
You want to
Ever
Letters resend
It was clear
It was over
The moment I saw
You were eons apart
From me
Breaking the law
Just to face you again
In my tiny lie shame
Just to feel me
Inside you
Exhaling your name

But you know when I get Greek
Mythologies
I try to keep
As deep as Erebus and Nyx
Within the darkness
One becomes
Conception silences
We speak
And try to tweak  
A little bit
Because it sounds
Like I am smitten
By the afterlives
I reap
When bringing you
The sisters three
In all supremely forming me
And I am fate
My love
Just end with me
The mortal madness
Nation-state
And lend to me
Your ears
Without the judgment
Of divine
I was the rest to you
The best of who
I could be
All the time
You were my scintillating silhouette
The brightness in the breeze
You were the eons could be passing
And you’d still
Be there with me
Don’t let this little lion cub
Be checking on
Your airy pride
Don’t let this shadow of a man
Convince you
I
Was of the side
To side with anything
But real
And what I still
Struggle to feel
Was what I lost
Running away
And what it cost
To be dismay
I was the gray
And how you brought the blue
Accepting and just listening
The whispering
Of my
Conceited
Endless nightmare
Mystery
Just be with me
Surcease to see
The days we spent
In history
And please tomorrow
Write to me
Another deathless
Eulogy

I really don’t know
About anything
Just
That I still couldn’t feel
It all fading
To dust
You’ve been friends
Since I went  
To your house
And met others
Who looked like they weren’t
As close as us
Brothers
Was how I interpreted
It
More than mine
He was my
Younger guy
I don’t know how to find
Where I lost the mentor
The a bit older kid
Just a bit different than
Most of what
I once did

If reflections of our faces
Mirrored uglinesses of our souls
Vanities of our embraces
Shimmering, ornate egos
Would reveal our grim disgraces
Fractured by this second glance
Shards that mark our darkest places
Cut us from this lecher’s trance
In crashing clangs
This loveless dance
Would end at last
For splitting pangs
Of true romance
Will shatter us like broken glass

I am a broken branch
One of many on an old oak tree
Reaching out to its branches above
Longing to stretch up towards them

One small branch striving
To keep the rest from cracking in the wind
A small part of this oak
But still essential to its existence

I stretch out alone
Above the ground and the earth
Seeing the broken branches I knew
Scattered about me in disarray

Some have taken an axe
To our very roots
This destruction inherited
By each new generation

How I long to take that axe
And toss it deep out to sea
Never to allow its sharp bite
To wound these branches again

I am one of many branches
On this broken tree
But alone I shall stand
And plant the seeds of a new day

I’m feeling that Northern aggression
Discretion
Con Fed Irate for-properteers
Cause Depressions
So great that my lessons
Require expressions
Of history’s vengeance
Enlightenment questions
Repoe’sd as my Winter Sol rose
Choice of weapons

So proud to be American
Forget
Humanitarian
That neighbors
Might be strangers
Rearranging
Their vivarium
That we are all
Just prisoners
Within the planetarium
As free to be
Convicted
By a jury of our peers
As we are to form convictions
From a 30 rack of beers

Maybe I could write her
Stories no one ever could
No better kid could be her knight
In shining armor
Friendly neighborhood
Just want to say
A million different things
But make them go away
For none could make her stay
Here grasping at my bearded face
Erase the worries burdening me
Like a donkey in these streets
When all the weight I bear is worldly
Burning passion fields of wheat

Maybe a day
Or two tops
But at three
That you hadn’t a free moment
I fail to see
So just tell me
It’s not what you want
Or expected
Directly ignored
I can’t take
But rejected
Inured to
For years
I’ve been no ones
Priority
Intimate friends
Always end
In obscurity

Start a new job
All your problems are solved
Earn a piece of that happiness
Everyone loves
But I’m not even tired
Just mired
In angst
Yet the apathy
Still pulls
Its victimless pranks

Don't drink it often
But when I do,
Wow!
I forget how it hits me
With such a jolt
Pow!
Like a shock to the system
A bolt to the brain
Enervated no more
All day long can sustain
An activity level
Atypical for
The reciprocal
Proximate cause
Proxy war
Splitting me at the seams
So fatigued
By the need
To feed on more salubrious
Gardens of greens
And tonight if I sleep
Will be with
An outpacing
Evasive maneuver
From thoughts are still racing
Through multitudes of
The senescence depression
Without it
Decelerating
My momentum
Abstention from
Communication pretension
With one sip is shifted
And lifted
From trenches
To crestfallen peaks
Of surprise I could even
Remain on my feet
Long enough to reprieve in
Revitalization
Of small conversation
A chat over coffee cups
Stirred, never shaken

How I long to watch it all go up in massive
Walls of flame
With you
To burn for you in anarchistic
Madness that you put me through
And set this hopeless, barren, wretched
Waste of space ablaze
And raze its fascist freedom fallacies
To ashen masses graves
And with my wildest temptations
Fade like self-detachment smoke
From charred remains of what remains
Of every promise that I broke
Of every note I ever wrote
Not worth their weight
In soot and smog
Throw on a log
And let me choke
On spoken worded spontaneity
Combusting in my lust
For flesh caressed in my possessive
Seething passion for your trust
And give it all to the inferno
To divine the splendid sun
Until my hubris wings ignite
Without you there to make it fun

Main road marked on all sides
By small shops
Vendors sell bananas
Banks are centralized and closed
No corporate vulture multinationals
Except the one I chose
To make a living representing
My empire’s softest power plays
The spending, buying, mass consuming,
Wifi access money maze
The neoliberal colonizing
Culture shocking tidal waves
Still ebbing in the rolling hills
And crashing in the daily pills
The vivid dreams dissolve and fade
Digesting final three square meals
And learning what it means to be
A self-sufficient person
Goods and services exchanged
At rates that make my head spin
Topsy turvy circuses
New temples to the excess gods
Converting them as we decline
To little more than human lives
Devaluing as dollar signs