Locked in a cage
Of a loner
A stray
Reaching out for the keys
Just deceives me the further
Like pleas of the psyche
Diseased
Commits ******
For no one else sees
Worst in me
Quite like me
And deliverance from it
More pricey than free
Elegies
I have lachrymosely
Dedicated
To fallen love’s
Cyclical saga
Abated
At last
She is there
Nearer still  
To renewal
Accrual of wasted years
Seeking approval
From whom I know not
Just a place to belong
To be welcome,
Be valid,
Not once again gone

Closer now
We’re getting there
I’m asking weekend plans
Aware
She won’t be anywhere
With me
At least
Not consequentially  
Enough to know
She feels it back
Ecstatic just to see you back
Within the office
Somewhat often
Even when it seems you just
Dropped in to say
Let’s sate this lust

But for her
I am lust
And libido
Entrust
Every ******
Of my blade
To the page
And combust
Like a wayward inferno,
A magnified ant,
A Promethean seedling,
A nuclear plant
And my rant
Slash and burn
Still unearthing
Unerring
From Gaia rebirthing
‘Til deathless
Despairing
And wear her depression
Expression
Unvarnished
Full force of her nature
Have I learned to harness
And won’t soon submit
To her profligate
Enemies
Taking her vengeance
To weather extremities
When their atrocities
Go unrepentant
All in
Her empyrean
I am transcendent

In spartan conditions
Inured to privation
In bountiful plenty
I opt for starvation
Been waiting on angels
To cradle my grave
Like a craven
Still craving
A lover to save
Me from clutches of loss
And the jaws of defeat
From the dissatisfaction
Pursuing elite
Living standards
Can’t stand
To compare
My despair
With their lucrative lassitude
Classist career
If I wanted it genuine
I’d disappear
Yet again
Go pretend,
That I can
Belong here
There was no place for me
Since I crawled from the ooze
And confused
Evolution
With gods it alludes to

My sorrow disarms me
When ignorance harms me
Had known you
This meant to me
More than a profit
Could ever predict
What it feels
To have lost it
Perhaps then you’d think
Not in numbers and code,
Not in protocol calculi
Heartless and cold

An optimistic cynic
Guess my problem is I care too much
Or just enough to stay in touch
With disconnected wanderlust
Once had a crush on sedentary
Fantasies of fairy dust
But settled for incendiary
Flings to watch the world combust
For glasses full of half measures’
Fragmented shards of broken trust
Would merely feed my wildfire
Cerebellum such and such

Moonlight is blue tonight
Luminous glow
Peering out of my window
At go away snow
Melting at a pace
Glacial
Too slow for my liking
I want open spacial
And temperatures hiking
Returning with haste
My impatience insatiable
Time laid to waste
But the portents of thawing
Apparent today
Warming up the inherent
More pleasant landscape
To sanguinity cheer
For the advent of Spring
And its promise
Of weather
Much better
Will bring
And whether or not
Its fecundity blooms
For me too
Or just once again withers
In winters entombed

Worked hard for this bastion
With masterful
Craftsmanship
Forged
In a crucible
Of my undoing
Secured
Rest assured
In catastrophe
Brewing
Like cauldrons
Of storms
Like calderas
Of potions
Like maelstroms
Of mind
In a sea of emotions
I’ve courted disquiet
Cocooned in unease
A tumultuous riot
Adorned in oblivion
Shrinking like violet

Since meeting you
Haven’t made
Much time to write
And to share with you
Can’t find
The one I would like
To express what it’s like
To in just a few days
Shift away from the doldrums
Of dreary malaise
To elation,
Excitement,
And eager sanguinity
Finding someone
Who can share
My affinity
For what a simple
Arrangement of words
Can bestir in two hearts
Thrumming like
Hummingbirds

I am the stranger
Fall around me
Muses soothe
Instill,
Unbound me
Drowned,
Devoured,
Downward
Crowned me
Deity
Abyss surround me
In its heartless
Darkness
Found me
Wraithlike
In a state
Of fear
To glean this gleaming
Lucid
Sphere
Through all the eyes,
A vision
Clear

What I
Cannot take
To the grave
‘Lest it later
Unearth
What I swept
In the cave
What confessed
Unexpressed
I forget
To address
And regret
Resumes reaping
My restless
Decay
And by day
Drone away
In the silence’s gray
When inevitably
I destroy something else
For a long time ago
Did the same
To myself
And continued
To reinvent
New and improved
Ways of ending
What other lives
Need be removed
But still failed
To conclude
That to do so
Consistently
Makes you unmoor
From the anchor amor
‘Till she walked out the door

Change it
Save it
Claim it
You name it
I’ve been there
I’ve done it
And still can’t retain it
For after all
Valiant
Effort exhausted
The impact you made
Is outweighed
By its losses
No capital gains
Can account
For corruption
The gradual,
Casual,
Natural destruction
As more digitized
Status symbol
Numerics
Become the mind-numbing
Drone bumblebee
Clerics

Don’t want to relinquish
Creatively spark
To the mentally-taxing
Evasion of darkness
I feel like a carcass
Just fed
Better than
Contradictory’s
Starkest
Disparity
Paradox
Toxins polluting
Utopian blooms
To a tombstone
Of ruins  
Reduced to
The narrowing focus
Priorities
No more recalcitrant
Question authorities
Just have a seat
Keep your hands busy
Eat
Imperfections,
Correct them,
Delete and repeat

Have all these images
Who we’re supposed to be
He and she norms
I romanticize
Hopelessly
Lovelessness graves
I’m contained
In her ghosting me
Spirits and vapors
Erase recollection
And she disconnects
Into astral projection
As digital,
Pivotal
Message subliminals
Steal her attention away,
I’m invisible
Can’t be more tangible
Still though untouched
Like a hand-held device
Is more worthy of trust
Though I’ve clutched her frail digits
And kissed her eclipses
I’m still overshadowed
By sideshow exhibits
And live in this
Freak on a leash
Other world
Where no fakes
Can heartbreak
Such a nothing’s real girl

We say we don't want it
Don't covet it,
Lust for it
Wish upon stars
For a chance to discover it
But, I feel safe
In presuming
You do
At least once a daydream
If it were to come true
How they'd look on you with
Admiration and awe
Adulation to make
Imperfectionist flaw
Would be nice, and quite right
About time
Overdue
To shine bright in a spotlight
Persona eclipsed
Amidst fortune and fame's
Tenebrous ego tryst

Doesn’t need to be novelty’s
Next revelation
Adding factorials
To the equation
That always results
In a nightly reveal
One more piece to the puzzle
Of what I conceal
When complete
Will appear
To compose me
The soma
And unto my readers
Convey its
Persona

Hours evaporate
Outside the box
But I still think in terms
Of inside ticking clocks
What is locked away
Is my creative
Shortcoming
Undone
I forgot what it means
To have genuine fun
Always running to something
And from so much nothing
Or everything all at once
On my trail hunting
Me down with relentless
Pursuit of perfection
I want to be better than best
But still question
Exactly just what
Do I need to be more
Than the same silly kid
I don't know anymore

Embrace me
My last never bloom
For tomorrow
Uncertainty looms
On the spindles of sorrow
And watching it sow
Needle points
Of my dread
Would just sooner unravel
And lay bare the thread
Of not ready
To let you
Ignore what you read
And respond with
A silence
From which I once fled
But to wed
Is forgetting
Regret
Intersected
Us here at the crossroads
Of destiny
Bested
For I wasn’t made
To be anyone’s
End
But to fade
In what fate
At its best
Can’t intend

Not quite an impediment,
Seldom a detriment
Just a self-conscious
Propensity to
Pensively reconsider
Each word that I choose
Like anomic aphasia
But undiagnosed
When I can’t comprehend
Even thought’s innermost
Best syntactic formation
Dictates fluctuation
And makes me some ramble-on,
Scrambling to find
What I even intended to say
Half the time
And then oh!
There it is
Where I’m going with this
Yes a piece about speech
And the topics it shifts

Have I not
Yet overstated
Graves and havens
All the same and
Grim as I’ve ever been
Staunch proletarian
There is but one
Whom I hold
Dearest sentiment
Much to the complement
Of my addictions,
My bastions
In ashes
Atop my convictions
My practical
Prosperous
Prose
Only knows
How irrational
Feels
How emotional flows
When she goes
Beyond where
I relinquish control
Where the only choice left
Is to give her my soul

Better be barely
By breath
Breaking out
For that death
Do us part stuff
I’m just not about
But take heart in awareness
You occupy thoughts
Of less savory urges
Are more often fraught
With a lot
Of traumatic
Explosives and omens
The ghosts of my past
Have so cryptically spoken
And though not
Initially
What I envisioned
We still come together
Like head-on collision
And into it full speed ahead
Would I go
If on your end
The fender bends
Backwards
To show
A committed
Emitted
Fuel standard
Machine
For I’m just a pollutant
Still tryna’ come clean

I am Death in the flesh
Bereft life’s final breath
I have conquered eternity’s peak
Without rest
As I longed to express
From my emptiness chest
Why I can’t seem to pass this mortality
Test

And that’s when I wrote you
Came right out
And told you
We were just
Reflections
Of similar figments
Our differences
Deeper than people
Of pigments
Upbringing
Diverges
In privileged
And poor
As the middle class
Widens the rift
Even more
What a chore it’s become
To among them
Reside
When a score
Of conquistadors
Seeks to divide
And presiding
Unprecedential
In his crimes
In his locked box
Of docs
In his Fox
Populies
Is the traitor,
The ******,
The racist
Tax fraud
Still enriching
His image
Like profits of God

Hear coyotes feasting
In the distance
At the dawn
The desert chill
Instills a sense
That I am never
Far too gone
My home is distance
It is missed
And I will see it someday soon
But I still chase the lonely solitude
Foreboding
Harvest moon
And wake when stars
Still cling to tapestry
Oblivions above
And in the shadows
Prep the gallows
For an afterlife in love  
The unresolved,
The unrequited,
Undecided
How I feel
For if I rhymed it once
A million times
I questioned it was real

Impregnable gloom
Decomposer
Consume
Let decay
What remains
Of my chance to exhume
Nature's progeny,
Property
No more befit to rule
Creature
Is stopping me
For I write words
Ironclad in their peace
And reverberate
Deep
In the despot’s defeat
In humility
Strode
An ulterior road
All the while
Reside
In the doesn’t
Well bode
Just a toad
Having tasted
The princess’ bliss
When I tongued
The abyss
And I heard
A most visual
Serpent god’s
Hiss

Goodnight to
The rest of the world
As it wakes
The earthquakes
Somewhere far
From what stake
I have left in it
Anymore
None left to gamble
I placed my faith
Too long
In peoples’
Preambles
To flawed constitutions
Consistently
Riddled
With holes in the plot
And foundations of brittle
Collapsing,
En massing,
Unrest in the streets
With the corners
And shadows
No scraps left to eat
An effete
Feeble tenuous
State
Disingenuous
Promises make
Us look more
Like the terrorists

Don’t feel like ranting
Not up to romancing
For wallowing
Follows
The dread
Notwithstanding
When pictures of perfect health
Suddenly torn
And no ounce of this worthless wealth
Mourned or reborn
Just reformed by conformists
And status quo showmen
Adorned in a flag,
In a badge,
Or an omen
But I am the no-man’s land
Landless
Entrenched
And the working class man’s
Underserved
Ubermensch
Rent these tenements
Spent my inheritance
Running
Their social experiment’s
Most unbecoming
Extreme destitution
Supreme ideology
Keep heads enrolling
In highways of robbery
Move the mass media’s
Passive aggression
To cover up holes
In the history lesson
And therein I seek
But a nugget of truth
Among glorified
Stories
Alternative route
To the root of the problem
The root of all evil
Unequal
Behold it
Uprooting the people

I
Am but one
Tiny speck
Of the nothingness
Teeming
Within
This consumerist
Vast abyss
Classist rift
Stacking the odds
In my favor
Ensuring the wages
I cravingly
Savor
Unwavering
Taking
My share of the spoils
Then centralize
All the essential
Term oils
With limitless
Terms
To define
The decider
The lion,
The tiger,
The eagle
Empire

This ones about her
Never were
Quite together
The girl I could say nothing to
And upset her
No better for it
Left with nothing to show
And now haunted I drown
In her overshadow
But I take away nights
I could write her
Illumined
Exhumed
From her echoing chambers
Entombed in
The trauma,
The drama,
The anger
Consuming
Us both
Without hope
We were just passing through
She was seeking subordinates,
People to use
I romanticized
Her broken heart
As my muse
But still couldn’t add up
All the factors divided
To solve the equation
With secrets confided
Can only sustain
The facade for so long
For we both preferred love
Buried in a sad song

Be right back
Stealing Christmas
Real quick
I’ll be swift
As a flash
Not a light I’ll let flicker
On trees turned to ash
And I’ll stash the cache deep
In my cavernous lair
And it’s there it will keep
Until I reappear
In the new year
To do it all over again
Upend every tradition
And dollar you spend
On material sentiment
Commodified
As this luxury fetishized  
Marketize lie

They say revenge, its own reward
Found at the edge of history
Is best served colder than the war
In discourses of mystery
But tasty nonetheless because the flesh
Is what we bless
And what the West will know as Gilgamesh
If sins of father’s fail to see
That prequel tales of Babylon
Still presage inhumanity

Could cut the tension
With a blade
I never understood
The saying
Obvious
We aren’t friends
But on false pretense
Still depends
A sort of multi-facet,
Tacit
Truce
To minimize
Verbal abuse
And loosen lips
In shared critique
Just bite your tongue
Before you speak
With liberties
You haven’t earned,
Preserved,
Secured,
Or not yet learned
For we have both
Returned from far
Abroad
From peace and war
And yet have more
Left to endure
Than how we still
Settle the score

Can’t make her
My only good reason
For waking
For finding some semblance
Of meaning
In taking
Too much of the earth
For illusion self-worth
And this lackluster prose
Devoid even of mirth
But she makes my day
Feel
More complete
And fulfilled
And with each message sent
Overjoyed
I am thrilled
To respond then await
Formulate a response
As I anticipate
The next ghosting
It haunts

And yet,
As I stumbled
And plummeted,
Spiraled
I soared to the heights
Of a hubris
Unrivaled
Compiled
My youth
Tribulation
Disgrace
As I fell
More in love
With its tragic mistakes
Not the least of them
Leaving
For more fulfilled shores
Nor the most
I could gain
From unsettling scores
Of the populous
Forcefully normed
To my kind
The metropolis
Downfall
Reformed
In my mind

Another rejection
I question now
Am I
Who I had assumed
I would be by now
Can I
Do anything right,
Just be given a chance
To afford the refinancing
Lack of romance
Or whatever this
I must have more
Life is for
If I knew
No demurring,
I’d gladly be poor
Even if
Still afraid
To my dying day stay
Relatively unchanged
It would say
On my grave

Undoubtedly real
Just can’t make it here
And ending up
Back on the streets
Is my fear
Weary-wandering
Squandered
My last tachyon
Of potential
Resentment incarnate
To her
Detrimental
Eventually
Anchored to love’s
Codependency
Pulling the petals of lust
Incrementally
Just a few thoughts
Inescapably
Lingering
Confidence slain where it stands
And I’m hindering
Any constructive
Deduction
Mistaken
Like prodigal sons
Of the oneness
Forsaken

Unaccustomed
To trusting
The best have to offer
More characteristics
Than sealed in a coffer
A coffin
Too often
More fiscally sound
To be monetized tiding’s
Safe hole in the ground
Get around
Getting by
Make a name for yourself
Just deny what you used to think
It could be felt
As the tired
Aspiring,
Expired
Potential
Succumb to the worthlessness
Truth existential

Maintaining the guise
Of a normal life
Taking
Its toll on my
Loving wife
Hearts have been breaking
And I have been making
It worse
In exhausting
All options
To keep us contained
In our coffins
More often than not now
Despite
How we’re home
We resort to
Withholding our thoughts
All alone
All along
Still enamored,
Still genuine love
But it’s like
We’re preparing
To be
Deprived of
One another again
Can’t accept
It’s the end
Can’t cause anymore wounds
That we know we can’t mend
Can’t relinquish the feeling
Serenities ease
If the ghost of you
Swept away
In the sea breeze

The unrivaled ego
In all of its vanity
Herald of Nature’s
Impending calamity
Sheer existential
Endurance
Incarnate  
Still armed to the teeth
Is my ethos untarnished
I harness
Indignant
And channel it
Rage
My composure as chill
As a blizzard ablaze
For in balance I strive,
With fluidity glide
I’m the tempest emerging,
Storm surging inside
And I won’t be denied
The landfall
After all
The deniers
Acclimatized
Feel me alive

But who’s up to the task
Of unmasking the past
If the present
Sets precedents
No questions asked
And in decadence
Basking away
In our trifles
We cling to beliefs
Like a tweet’s
Assault rifles
So happy to trigger
Emote manufactured
Contrived
Artificial
Pet issues
Have fractured
Our psyches
Identities
Loyalties
Turn
From the bastion we’ve built
To the bridges we burn

I see you still
Right?
As I sit here
And write
Mirror images of
Can I kiss you?
Goodnight

So easy to criticize
Indigent lives
Diametrically disparate,
Different from mine
But I try to remind myself
Daily to exercise
Patience
And probity
Judging too soon
And assuming
Can only mean
Preemptively,
Peremptorily
Deeming
Parochial view
Of the picture I’m seeing
Facile denial
To look a bit deeper
Into
What I still misconstrue
As this bleaker
Grim,
Dimly lit
Pit
Spitting image of meager
Believers deceived
By their god
The All-Reaper
Is creeping about
The bedraggled,
Beleaguered,
Bemired poor creature
Awaiting its fate
As it stares at a speaker
Non-native,
Unaided
Invasive speech teacher
Just trying to reach them
As equals
Of self
Even though he is privileged
With wealthier health

Is it just me
Or have things gotten better?
Returning to site
And they're friendly as never
Before have they treated me
With such respect
I find even most children
No longer reject
My innocuous presence
And patience it seems
To be even expressed
By erstwhile relentless
Antagonists testing
My patience each day
Prior to this surprise
Pleasant as it may be
I still can not surmise
If they finally welcome me,
One of the people
And learned to accept me
As different
But equal

My turn for impeaching
Obsequious peaceniks
Are making me sick
Of these linguistic,
Jingoist sentiments
Leeching  
Off coughers  
And coffers closed
Like the schools
Teaching
Their culture supremacy
Remedies preaching
Their outreaching
White-washing,
Black-coded
Bleaching
Intentions
Descending to hell
All contentions  
Are quelled
And if any dissenters
Rebel
It is censured
As well
So extensions
Of interlope errs
On the side
Of the circumspect
State of affairs
Still divided
Itself like a house
That can’t stand
To take planned
Economic
Commands
From the man
And his red-handed
Caught in the act
Band of sycophants
Damning
The evidence
Flagrantly
Blatant
Blank-slating
The bank
Breaking laws
With impunity
Faking
More news about death’s
Final breath away
Pains in the chest
And unrest
Manufactured
As wrested from us
Is the last shred of powerful
Gods in which trust
Is soon crushed
Underneath
The hypocrisy,
Lies
Normalizing
Deceit
Can’t look me
In the eyes

Reputation precedes me
Proceeding to please
With perfunctory effort
And optimal ease
I relieve you of duty
And duly note when
You assign me a task
And a time to hit send
And my record yet
Still undefeated
But benched
Temporarily
Permanent role
Method acting entrenched
Yet I’d sit here all day
Representing my squad
Though my cause
All works out
I’m still tragically flawed

Single days are rarely so monumental
So metal,
Tea kettle,
A sea in the breeze
Of the crimson rose petal
Bed leveling
Be devil
Letters
Unfettered
And spell-casting
Summoning
Armies of fiends
And with mastery
Stimulate
Wildest dreams
Like a Green Revolution
Not littered in red
Like the golden boy
Peace keeper’s
Hole in the head
I learned most of the time
Time is not on your side
So disguise
Be advised
I’m goodbye cyanide
And I change the course
Only
To keep it free earth
Not what capital Pigs
Think their ego is worth

Weary of watching
The funeral
Clocking
The countdown
To meltdown
With no sign of stopping
Just racing
Ourselves
To extinction
Embracing
No clear-cut distinction
Just surfaces
Facing
Annihilation
At the hands of time
Wasting
Too late to make progress
When profit prevails  
And the crimes against nature
Are tipping the scales

Not the faintest idea
Why I’m here
What is clear
Is I am
Theoretically real
So I hear
But I fear
I would rather
Sometimes disappear
Or just fade
Into ethers pervade
Dematerialize
And again be remade  
Like that time
I transmogrified
Couldn’t decide
Between living
As me
Or he already died

In command of my heart
I was hers from the start
And in parting ways
Rendered
Alone in the dark
Off the mark
A few times
Out of sync
With the spark
That originates
Gravitates
Back to renewal
Like nuance
And novel
Gives pause to refuel
To in retrospect
Reconnect
Severed synapses
And then progress
Prosper
Rebuilding collapses
And tactics
For how we
Attack
And engage
Confrontation
Conflated with
Wars we must wage
Just a sudden deathmatch
To match
Mounting affronts
Like the salting of earth
And the growth that it stunts
We annunciate once
To the victor go spoils
With each escalation
But both of us fighting
Lose communication