Dear Harry,
There's so much I haven't told you yet,
my finger tips are shaking,
my words aren't working,
where should I even commence?

Dear Harry,
I remember each day, each moment with you,
do you too?
I reckon every second we spent together,
the way your shoulders are carved,
how my fingertips fit perfectly in every dent they curved.
how running my fingers through your auburn hair,
made me feel bare.
I counted your bruises, while you guided my fingers
I lay against your skin, it almost made me linger.
You held me in your arms, tight and secure
I knew you remember that, now I'm not sure.
I remember our calls, how could you?
you said 'she' didn't love you back,
I said that wasn't true.

Dear Harry,
It wasn't me, did I do something wrong?
I know she doesn't deserve you,
I thought while staying strong.
Why would you waste your last night with me,
if you didn't care?
I miss you uncontrollably, could you tell?

Harry, don't make me blush,
this never happens
you said you miss me several times,
Am I cold for the absence of replies?

Harry, stop saying these things,
are they even true?
You dressed up today,
was it for me too?

Harry, I'm sorry, I went there that night,
someone else kissed my lips,
they probably tasted your name ignite.

Harryyyy, I'm sooo sorrysy,
I'vee beenm dringking a lottt,
I tohld evheryobe abouszft youpsl,
and how I'd looooovie to kissss you,
I just couldn't stop.

Harry, you were here tonight.
I looked at you, couldn't you notice?
I stayed away from drinking,
I would have caused a ruckus.

Harry, you were the first one,
the first one to wish me a happy birthday,
thanks Harry, you're punctual and perfect.

Harry, I heard about her.
I hope you're happy.
I stayed up until six that day.
I dreamt of you again.

Harry, again I'm so sorry.
I hope you forgive me.
I was distracted today,
happy late birthday.

My beloved Harold, we would have met today.
Do you remember these things?
And how you taught me how to skate?
How my ears won't fit in head phones,
and when my OCD kicks in?
I'm sorry I'm cold, at least I seem to be.
Feelings are tough,
and my heart hides beneath.
You will never read this, so now I'll confess.
I love you Harold,
I do.
I swear.

I used to say I wore my heart on my sleeve,
I wanted it tattooed on my left arm, permanent and in-erasable.
I said it out loud, and to myself.
Who was I kidding?
It's hidden and held.

He cries himself to sleep, he grieves for my reply,
I know he needs help, it's beating gives him away every time.
I don't think he's depressed, I reckon he's scared.
And how could he not be?
We cruise this mad world.

He's scared of the dark, from life and from death.
He's a paradox I know, by his arrhythmia I tell.
Dogs freak him out, he's scared of their bite
Those teeth can't be trusted, they carve like a knife
He's scared of the love he's never experienced,
how could someone love him all wounded and delirious?
Planes are far from his favourites, also anything contagious,
pilots and doctors all shiver his cages.

He's the king of disguise,
sheltered behind humour,
sometimes he genuinely doesn't care,
others he cries upon a rumour.
People think he's crazy, I do myself,
he's treated as obsessive, old soul and ******.

His cuirass seems tough and unbreakable,
but really he's shy and mistakable.
He has the appearance of mean and despiteful,
he won't give in to show himself vulnerable and frightful.

He trusts no one,
he lets no one in.
His problems are his,
someone interfering would be a sin.

I'm sorry dear heart, I know it's my fault.
I've damaged and wrecked you,
with flaws and toxic loves.
Now you seem lost, you're head looking down,
please don't give up, it's not over now.
I can't promise I'll fix you, but yes I will try,
at the end no one saves you,
you're alone to die.

Obsession is a gun.
It points right to your head, willing to shoot.
It either glues your heart together or shatters it through.
You feel ecstatic, yet you feel blue.
It's an addiction, you were brought to.
Nobody gets it, you feel alone.

Your mind is scratched with a name that repeats itself endlessly,
It hurts to your core, it's also your ecstasy
No you can't grasp it, they're fake, they're souvenirs.
And by souvenirs, I mean they're *******,
You like it for a while, then put it on a shelf and in the end, dispose it.
It drains your time, you think it's real,
then in a month, you're done, it's sealed.
It starts confusion, you swear it's love,
you think it's happiness,
well, you are wrong.

There's this burning desire, that's igniting my heart,
It tangles my throat, my stomach and rips himself out.
I call that flame passion, it's probably caged.
From all the venom that surrounds this horrid, ****** place.
I feel like a puppet, with short and tough strings
They want me to do what is right to their means.
All this makes me sick, may I please throw up?
This place was so beautiful, what could have gone wrong?
It isn't that hard, we've all been deceived,
By two hateful men, one who doesn't even belong here.
It's also our fault, we should have seen through
All the paraphernalia those two put up for you.
Now one of them's gone, the other won't die,
And we're left to this mess, with and *** to the ward.
This donkey isn't working, most of us saw it coming
All he's brought are tears, death and more problems.
This desire wants to fight, and overcome this all
We could use a little help so this will blow up.
For now all we have is prayer and love,
Let that desire resist and the light will show up.

Your name used to wander through my thoughts every night.
It kept me up, it made me ill and worse than that, it made me feel.
Paper sheets with scribbles of your name, pillows wet from tears due to your games, even toilettes filled up with what I ate that day.
The thought of you made me tremble, while my knees shook, my heart dissembled.
Time went by, my knees were still, my heart wasn't completely ill.
I was okay, not well, but okay.
Nobody saved me, I did it myself, with help from a book, good friends and yourself.
I'll never be cured, I still have a dent.
After all, who doesn't, after being this wrecked?
However, at this moment I can say I'm fine, not well but just fine,
Where your name used to be, there's a hum in my mind.