No one talks about how painful it is
To love someone who wants to die
About the anger that you aren't enough
That they're okay with leaving this world
Leaving you here

We don't talk about
The constant fear
That they might already be gone
That couldn't save them

The terror when they don't answer
Every time
I find myself unable to breathe
Thinking about the blood on the floor
Imagining the rope around their neck
Picturing the empty pill bottle next to their lifeless body
There is so much fear

Please call me
Please tell someone
You cannot be alone like that to end your world

Please call me if you're going to do it
But it will not be for goodbye's
I will not tell you it's alright
I will say that I will ever be able to forgive you
Because I won't
I will only forgive you if you started breathing again
But when you're dead
That's it
You're dead

Yes I would be devastated
Completely and utterly
But that's not all
I would be angry too

2am anxiety attack
3am writing them poems
They're not enough
The words aren't enough
I'm not ******* enough
No one talks about being up at 4am doing research
How to help
Words to give
Grasping thin air for something
Anything
To keep them there

Now it's 5 am
Making lists of ways to make things better
How to make the world more livable
Because they are not allowed to die
6 am still awake
It doesn't matter that I won't get any sleep
I don't care about myself anymore
I don't care about my life
They just need to stay in it
That's all that matters

as hard-hearted "pragmatism"
becomes the norm--
and it has--
our congenial presuppositions
about how we want to live
are taking a beating
but on his way to mars
elon musk clarified the moment:
"the fundamental weakness
of western civilization
is empathy"
ok, there it is
no more mr. nice guy
**** everybody

Rain comes with clouds,
with you i feel complete
Isn’t it amazing, what we found?

Something from the fire,
something just to know,
if I'm a liar, lord take my throat,

There's something just about her,
and how she chooses to know,
and how she holds a fire without letting it go,

Dresses made of sunlight and proses of rose,
feelings like a won fight and dances of our nose,
To live is to meet her, to die is to let go,

and when I think about her, I swear I truly know,
how love becomes a fire and not just thoughts we hold,
and I'm impervious to liars because with her is where I go.

decomposing, fertilizer
an altruistic killer
new plants grow from flesh
does it have my anxiety?
my oddly sharp canines?
when the creatures of the forest eat from me
will they relive my memories
a lion in a classroom
a caterpillar taking antidepressants
a bird mourning a love.
if i give my blood to water a plant
my life had meaning
a knife entered me, and i gained time
my spine extends as the trunk of the tree
off white, stands out from the green
there are six minutes of brain activity after the body is dead
whats the difference between neurons and chlorophyll
perhaps in the wilderness man turns wild
why do serial killers leave remains in the forest?
a chaotic mirror, compulsion to ****
nature is both a hiding place and my confessional booth
before i grew, my eyes met my killer
the glimmer of their smile in the darkness
their canines were sharp too.

Your silver voice,
slick as a fish,
I’d gut,
dice,
and toss
to the sharks.

Velvet and hypnotic,
you sweet-talk your way
through our minds—
slipping past our conscience
and every blaring red flag,
entangling us
in pleasant submission.

I’m desperate
to erase
every trace of you.

For vandalism during covid
I was dying of hunger in the streets
I couldn't talk anymore
Too many prisoners around
Realignment is happening
Gang wars
Cartel wannabe's about to get bounded out
Smooth jacks cutting women up

So the sheriff's brought me in
Offered me a squabbles felony
With terms blah blah

Last time I visit fort for a wash up and a grind I ask the **** particle you goin up state

He says yeah
I said blah let's do legal
Gotta cup of coffee
Laughed at b3 date benders
And walked out

They told on y'all they wasn't but ice was on your house

We skated, my news friend droopy sap the fallen fro don
Dread the snuffle up against us in his burial helmet for a spliff

I was chillin waiting for stencil to crawl around the spoofed upon

She cool

O.K. Mr Russell the second movement got no fiber? Talking bad music video nonsense about his last night's

The Anderson

Anderson, Mr Russell put Minister Farrakhan on pause, wanna stir my hot cocoa

Geocities androids a debutante I wire tap myself
Remind me update my sashsas

No betta's

winged assassin Mr Hawk
beautiful and deadly

another Dove bites the dust
feathers plucked, no more flying

another poet for 'peace'
voice fading

all the children starving to death
their storytime ended.

Always been a female Charlie Brown and Linus with Marcie thrown in for good measure
There are Lucys in my life, but they still scare me
Been a victim and now a survivor with flashbacks
Don't go there, please
Loner but not lonely
Having to accept that things change won't dare come for an answer
Sometimes, I'm too kind and good for my own good
Harder for teachers to learn lessons
Yet, they do
Moving on to the right direction and journey
Nearing Gravitas