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The sun gleams,
and glitters, famously...
a gilded disco ball,
hung from the ceiling,
of a peaky blue sky.

White clouds, are stretched,
and whipped out,
to a spun-sugar confection.

The wind, snags my legs,
and my bare wrists.
I feel like a side of beef,
on a frozen meat hook.

I gaze, longingly
at the array,
of tender seedlings,
screaming,
to be unpackaged, at last,
and to be freed...

to be given unto the earth,
and surrendered to the elements,
like eager children,
that they may rise, and grow!
...but I can't seem to recall
any of their names, or faces.

...I'm a terrible mother.

Were you impulse buys?
...I hope you'll all be beautiful.
The arctic, unseasonal breeze,
bites at my wrists, again:
a bad-tempered dog,
with an impatient demeanor.

...**** all of this,
I'm going back inside.
Children are taught
Neither to reject nor encourage pain.

Not of the body.
Not of the mind.
Not of the rage boiling beneath their skin.

For they cannot control their thoughts
Any more than they can control
The ๐‘’๐‘ฆ๐‘’๐‘  ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘”โ„Ž๐‘ก
Or ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘  ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘ ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘‘.

๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ž๐.
๐‘‚๐‘›๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘‘.

So they are ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐š๐๐š๐ฉ๐ญโ€”
How to carry fury ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘“๐‘’๐‘’๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘–๐‘ก.
How to let it exist ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘Ž ๐‘™๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ โ„Ž.

But ahโ€”๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ž๐ง.
And the bugs have erased thoseโ€”
Through the efficiency of ๐๐ข๐ ๐ง๐ข๐œ๐ข๐๐ž,
They have turned them into ๐๐จ๐ ๐ฌ.

And ๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘”๐‘  ๐‘‘๐‘œ ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘.
They do not adapt.
They ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐จ๐›๐ž๐ฒ.

So when pain arrivesโ€”
When the claws tremble,
When the body seizes with rageโ€”
๐‡๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐š ๐๐จ๐  ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ญ?


Dogs are ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐ข๐ง๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐›๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐š๐ข๐ง.
To take it out against ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฐ๐ž๐š๐ค๐ž๐ซ.

๐‘๐‘œ, ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘ ๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘ก.
๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘–๐‘ก.
Just to ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐
Before the bugs have to deal with it.

So when a small puppy ๐ซ๐š๐ ๐ž๐,
When its ๐ญ๐ž๐ž๐ญ๐ก ๐œ๐ฅ๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ก๐ž๐,
Its ๐ฃ๐š๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐œ๐ค๐ž๐โ€”
They handed it a doll and said,
"๐Œ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฉ๐š๐ฒ."

And the puppy did.

๐’๐ฅ๐š๐ฆ. ๐‚๐ซ๐š๐œ๐ค. ๐’๐ง๐š๐ฉ. ๐’๐œ๐ซ๐š๐ฉ๐ž.
๐“๐ก๐ฎ๐. ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ž. ๐“๐ž๐š๐ซ. ๐๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ค.

The plastic head cracked.
And oh, ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š ๐ฌ๐ข๐œ๐ค๐ž๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ž
๐‘…๐‘’๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘›๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘ข๐‘๐‘๐‘ฆโ€™๐‘  ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘’.

๐‘๐‘œ, ๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘–๐‘’๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘‘.
๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘”๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘‘ ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘™๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ฃ๐‘’.
๐๐จโ€”๐ข๐ญ ๐ก๐š๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ž๐.


And the bugs all ๐œ๐ก๐ž๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐,
So thrilled the problem had been ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘Ž๐‘”๐‘’๐‘‘,
Instead of accepting their responsibility ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘œ๐‘™๐‘ฃ๐‘’ ๐‘–๐‘ก.

So content to ๐ง๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ฌ๐ค ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐š๐ข๐ง ๐ก๐š๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ง๐žโ€”
How it will return when the puppies ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ž.


๐ƒ๐จ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐š๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ž๐ง๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐œ๐ž๐,
๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐ž๐ง๐ฃ๐จ๐ฒ๐ž๐.

The other puppies saw.
Saw the ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซโ€”
The ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅโ€”
The ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ.

Saw that ๐ซ๐š๐ ๐ž was no longer a burden,
But an ๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก.
Saw that ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž๐ซ was no longer suffering,
But ๐‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘ ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›.

And they ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ญ.

They wanted to ๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘™ ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘š๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘ 
In order to ๐ฌ๐ž๐ข๐ณ๐ž ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ over what could not fight back.

And so the ๐ฌ๐ข๐œ๐ค๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐.
And so the ๐’๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ฆ ๐Ÿ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐ก๐ž๐.
And so the ๐›๐ซ๐จ๐ค๐ž๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ญ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐.

๐๐จ, ๐ง๐จโ€”๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘—๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ .
One day ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐›๐ž ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฌ,
But ๐ฏ๐ข๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ.


For they did not teach puppies ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘”โ„Ž ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘–๐‘Ÿ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘”๐‘’.
They did not teach them ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘”๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘Ž ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›, ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘Ž ๐‘ ๐‘œ๐‘™๐‘ข๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›.
That it was never meant to be passed alongโ€”
That it was never meant to be taken out on the ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐จ๐œ๐ž๐ง๐ญ.

๐๐จ.

They taught those puppies one thing.


๐“๐จ ๐›๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ค ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐›๐š๐œ๐ค.

๐€๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ก๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ .


~~~

๐ด๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ ๐‘๐‘–๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ .

๐น๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘š โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ž๐‘ข๐‘–๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘โ„Ž ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™,
๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘›๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘”๐‘’๐‘‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘“๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘.

๐‘Š๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘ ๐‘ข๐‘๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘’ ๐‘Ž ๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’”๐’† ๐’๐’‡ ๐’†๐’…๐’–๐’„๐’‚๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’,
๐‘๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘  ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘บ๐’–๐’‘๐’‘๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’”๐’Š๐’–๐’Ž.

๐‘Šโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘’ ๐’‚ ๐’‰๐’‚๐’—๐’†๐’ ๐’‡๐’๐’“ ๐’„๐’‰๐’Š๐’๐’…๐’“๐’†๐’ ๐’•๐’ ๐’…๐’†๐’—๐’†๐’๐’๐’‘,
๐‘๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘  ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’…๐’๐’„๐’•๐’“๐’Š๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’†๐’๐’‡๐’๐’“๐’„๐’†๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’Š๐’“ ๐’†๐’“๐’‚๐’”๐’–๐’“๐’†.

๐ด๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ .

๐‘Š๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ .

๐‘Š๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ .
Suppressium: The Dignicide Doctrine
(The Age of Obedience II)
 May 30 Renee C
nivek
grey sky welcome
a downpour hoped for

a little excitement
on the rain scale

an old friend
not seen in awhile
 May 30 Renee C
nivek
carving the runes
a stone tablet

the grave marker
of a stranger.
 May 30 Renee C
Elaine C
aging
 May 30 Renee C
Elaine C
seventeen

im ******* bored
blasting hyperpop in my ears
screaming in fields and
writing on walls

sixteen

today
and yesterday
every day
all the same

fifteen

wheres my ******* break?
i spend time, i earn it back
some things cost a lot of time
some things, not so much

fourteen
thirteen
twelve
eleven
ten
nine
eight
seven
six
fi­ve
four
three
two
one

and im back awake again
the time flies like planes
how did i get here?
i don't know, but im here to stay
time is the only thing no one has enough of
 May 30 Renee C
B L Costello
Oh little man,
You land where you fall,
You really have no plan at all,
No sense of loss,
No fear of dying,
How brave you are,
So good at lying,
You felt that loss,
Like a severed leg,
You fear the unknown,
And the voice in you head,
And nowโ€ฆyou are lame,
You limp,
Sometimes crawl,
You bleed everywhere,
You land where you fall
BLCostelloยฉ2025
 May 30 Renee C
dread
disc
 May 30 Renee C
dread
Fingers, are they not rays of sunshine,
or at least so delicate,
your finest lover, if her or his were crushed?
is it not so much more a travesty?

These simple vines, strumming until they're embedded,
beating with a soft but forceful start,
all for the finality of a drop,
that begins where the heart stops.

a goodbye to eyes, an eternal recess from the light,
you **** the chorus in our minds,
hoping that either one of us finds,
you again.
 May 30 Renee C
dread
Trying to teach you that can't is a broken spell,
a collection of words smothered in a fist,
deprived of touching can, before its magic had its knell,

The progenitors of these phrases drown in its graces,
they become the it of their own undoing,
husband and wife to guttural utterances,

Cloaked is the mirror with a window on full display,
smiling through your reflection, praying through convection,
seeking the angel's wings buried in the ground,

It's all dirt beneath their lips,
give them a spear they fancy it a fork,
a hook for their purposes,

There is no can't besides what is in there eyes,

There is no can't and above the bird flies,

There is no can't and here we find ourselves in our minds,

The law to them is of designs,
the life is what they inscribe,
there is no can't, but they can't.
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