Anastasia

Anastasia Jul 4

So cut me into pieces then
Grab my hair, my head and hands
And bury them deep
6 feet under where
I will not rest nor will I sleep

Tortured within this system
A living doll played by sick men
Men waiting to die like me
Standing in line to die next
Like I have

I have died a million times
Each in the wounded hearts of every little girl
Been sliced in ruin with no words
To speak, to sing or carry this song

No not for me—they move along
The dead can't speak
Only eyes from a mother's son
Oh, how they will keep

Keep and keep and keep
Greedy little calloused hands
Attached to those who
Deserve such bitter ends

You have taken everything
Played with this corpse too long
Decay and decompose what
Little life may I bring

You have swallowed them whole
No sweet, soft sounds
Only hellish cries that grow
From bloodthirsty hounds

And Gods, you have taken
Every little ******* thing
From us—the dead
who can no longer sing.

#sadness #death #abortionrights #theusisajoke #hell #womensrights #trauma #traumacore

Anastasia Jun 6

Dead.

Dad, where did you go?
I hate that you're dead,
I'm angry you're dead,
I wish I could go and rest

In that coffin buried deep,
I wish to travel to your grave,
To dig into the Earth,
Open your coffin and

Crawl inside to sleep,
Beside you again, so cozy,
I wish to pretend we're,
Together on the sofa

Giggling and laughing,
A feeling fleeting so fast,
I wish to grasp,
Onto the only image

Of your corpse once alive again,
That would talk and hold,
The burden of your Death with me,
To hold me, my daddy,

I wish to open your coffin,
Lay inside and pretend again,
And again and again,
You and I forever best friends.

Please, pick up even if the line is dead.

#grief #trauma #sad #depression #stagesofgrief #loss #lossofaparent

Anastasia Apr 2020

The Hounds

I contemplated opening up,
To you or to anyone,
To bear my soul,
For anyone to understand me,
See me! See me!
Understand my condition,
My damage,
The ever twirling mist that surrounds my vision,
Hear me! Hear me!
All I hear is their whine, their cry,

The beckoning howl of those hounds.

Anastasia Apr 2020

.

I fall into that Hell,
With bright fire and burning,
I feel comfortable there,
That heat---my skin covered in sweat,
You there too,
Dancing with me in lust and love,
In that Hell,
You and I.

is this what it means to fall

Anastasia Mar 2020

The Laundry Room

I sit inside the small laundry room,
I close the door,
I imagine this small room,
Is my coffin,
I watch as the dryer turns
and turns,
and turns,
Maddening that noise,
That spin,
Didn't think I'd be back here again.

I watch the spin,
I frown,
Is there any way out?
Or should I put my head in?
Turn on that washer,
And drown.

Anastasia Mar 2020

Delicate.

Those soft waves rushing up to the shore,
They rock back and forth,
That mighty ocean carries so much depth,
I start to lose my breath,
Too calm that sea,
Opposite the storm inside of me,
I take one more breath,
Delicate.

Anastasia Feb 2020

Headspace.

I sit inside my head,
Alone
Alone
Alone again,
No one to comfort,
No one to care,
No one to hold me,
Or play with my hair,
No one to listen,
No one to see,
That there is a darkness eating away at me.