I'm done being polite, yet you treated me rudely
I'm done being nice, because you abused my kindness

Tagalog translation:
Hindi pa nga nagsisimula, tatapusin na agad?
Kesyo daw baka ibang trabaho ang aapplyan ko na hindi daw tugma sa kursong kinuha ko
Puna ng nanay kong talak ng talak na parang pinaglihi ang bungaga sa pwet ng manok
Hindi pa nga nakapagpasa ng application letter at resume negatibo agad ang nasasabi at naiisip
Ika nga nila pride does not pay your bills.
Importante ba talaga yun? Na pride ang pinapairal at hindi na lamang lunukin ang pride
Kaya hindi umaasenso ang bansa eh dahil sa negatibong pananaw ng mga tao sa lipunan
Na imbes tulungan kutyain pa lalo
Ano bang pinpupunto mo? Ano ba ang ikinakagalit mo?
Na matulad ako sa ibang tao na sapat na ang isang kahig, isang tuka
Gusto ko naman mamuhay sa mundong ito na hindi sapat ang kakarampot lang
Ngunit ibahin mo ako sa iba, ayaw kong umasa sa salitang survival of the fittest
Gusto kong maniwala sa salitang comfort of the fittest
Ayaw ko nang ma experience ulit yung ulam na toyo, suka at mantika na ihahalo sa kanin pangtawid gutom lamang
Ayaw ko nang gawing ulam ang sabaw ng noodles na abot hanggang leeg na walang kalasa-lasa para makakain lamang kaming lahat
Ayaw ko na nung mga panahon na minsan lang ako makaranas kumain sa fastfood restaurants
Ngayon hindi na tuwing birthday o kahit anong okasyon makakakain kami, kundi kung kailan may extra sa pera ko
Hindi kahihiyan ang makakamatay sa atin kundi uhaw at gutom lamang
Mamamatay nang nakadilat ang mata mo
Kahit alam **** may oportunidad na dumadaan sa mga panahong lumilipas
Mas pinili **** tumunganga na lamang sa hangin nang walang laman ang sikmura
Imbes na magsipag para may maipakain sa pamilya kahihiyan ang inuuna
Tandaan mo, wala kang laban sa sikmura **** kumakalam at dila **** uhaw
Kung hindi ka magtyaga at maghanapbuhay.

English translation:
You haven’t even started, yet they’re already shutting you down?

They say you might apply for a job that doesn’t match the degree you took. My mom, always nagging like she was born with a rooster's mouth, keeps voicing her concerns. I haven’t even submitted an application letter or a resume, and negativity is already in the air.

They say, pride doesn’t pay the bills. But is that really important? Is pride really the issue here? Should I just swallow my pride?

This is why the country doesn’t progress—because of the negative outlook of people in society. Instead of lifting each other up, they choose to mock and tear others down.

So what is the real point here? What exactly are they angry about? Do they want me to end up like others who live paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by?

I just want to live in this world with more than the bare minimum. But unlike others, I refuse to rely on the saying "survival of the fittest." Instead, I want to believe in "comfort of the fittest."

I never want to experience another meal where soy sauce, vinegar, and oil mixed with rice are our only options just to get through the day. I never want to rely on watered-down instant noodles that stretch to feed everyone but have no real flavor.

I never want to go back to the days when dining at a fast-food restaurant was a rare treat, reserved only for birthdays or special occasions. Now, it’s no longer just a once-a-year thing—it happens whenever I have extra money.

Shame is not what will **** us—it’s thirst and hunger. You’ll die with your eyes wide open, knowing opportunities pass you by. And yet, instead of reaching for them, you choose to sit idly, stomach empty. Rather than working hard to provide for your family, you let shame control you.

Remember this—you stand no chance against a growling stomach and a thirsty tongue if you don’t hustle and work for a living.

when a softhearted girl with an arrhythmia cries a lot— she is hurt.

What I learned during my internship for Education is that:

You need to have a thick face
You have to wear a lot of masks to hide your feelings, the pain or problems at home
It should not be brought to school.

Until today, I was able to wear a lot of masks. Even at home. I wore a facade to hide my true feelings. To hide the pain.

Sometimes, when no one is around. I cry. Life is tough. But it made you stronger, not weaker.

she does not resort to violence—
she only cuts her hair short.

someone once told me "hair holds memories"
is it true? is that it?
but when did I cut my own hair short, the memories remained.
maybe it is a fad or a lie after all.

The only games I play are the ones you won’t— not for lack of skill, but fear of a fair fight.

No sleight of hand, no silver-tongued deceit, no victory stolen in the dark.

So, play true, or don’t play at all.

So take your best shot. I know you thrive in poker, where the stakes are built on bluffs and the win lies in sleight of hand.

But I don’t play at the table. I don’t sit and exchange pleasantries with hypocrites— the ones who wear virtue like a mask, saints when you’re watching, but serpents when you turn away.

Their whispers weave rumors, their tongues sharpened with lies. Smiles in daylight, daggers in the dark.

I don’t play their game. I don’t sit. I don’t bow. And I don’t break.
I take my aim at the target, pull back the string, steady the breath, and send my victory straight to the center— no gamble, no guess— just a bull’s-eye.

Because even the devil plays this ******* game to claim your soul. But I, on the other hand, plays fair by deeds and redemption, forgiveness and having constant communication, faith and belief in God. Only he is deserving of claiming my soul.

Is this day any different?—
But why does it seem like this night is different from any other night?

Snakes, they crawl and slither their silver tongue
Devil, taunts and mocks you, tricks you
High priests, think highly only of themselves
Judas thought his dignity can be bought in 30 silver coins
Pontius Pilate assumes that washing of his hands can never be accomplices with  people, he was innocent but they taunt him.
Hypocrisy says otherwise, blasphemy is only for the weak
The proof is right in front of you, but you denied me three times.
It's the ungrateful people that betrayed Him was saved.
It is the truth they knew and heard but they deafened in silence.

A bad joke. It is not something to laugh at.
Plead guilty of something he never did.

A sinful man was freed, in exchange for the Son of God to be crucified by the mankind.
Where are your manners? Are you not grateful for the things he did for us?

To be saved from our sins. It is done. It is paid. You should realize it sooner or later that God's love is unconditional and amazing.

Don't mix pleasure with pain, it might **** you wanting to be alive inside him.

It's not Hell if you like the way it burns, you're right. It comforts me. To see you suffer there. You never listened to me anyway. so, good luck finding your way back to let them forgive you.

I killed a part of me to keep you alive, but it turns out, you went behind my back and betrayed me.
I want you to know but I will never tell you
how it happened so quickly.

how you ruined our family.
over your child's baseless information.
over granny's nanny's useless explanation.
you broke my trust.
I am mad at you.
but still, I wished you well.
I wish you well, in Hell.

father, are you scared of your own kind?
maybe you forgot about it, perhaps.
let me refresh your memory for you...
I thought I was your favorite, your little innocent girl
but I was sexually abused, took advantage by a guy
after that, you disgust me
I thought you accepted me for who I was
but I was misunderstood.
are you afraid of me? you created the monster out of me,
and I am that monster you created
fear not. I am not a weapon.
I am not a murderer.
I am a child, seeking for attention and love. once.
who needs a gun when I can turn my pain into words,
I hope they bleed you, rip your heart apart
you left me in pain for a year and a half in a prison
because you cannot control me. not anymore.
you cannot brainwash me. no more.
you asked me, "how did this sweet girl grew up to be a heartless horrid creature?"
but I was never born, I was created. I was a monster by painful experiences.
"Go to hell" oh bruh, where did you think I came from.
"There is a devil among us" fear not. do not be afraid by your kind, you mirror me for I am not a devil, but a monster.
Alas! I am everything you cannot control. remember that.
because I was once a child, an unwanted child. begging for her parents a time, a dime and attention.
woe! a second child I was, the path I walk on is all bumpy and steep
never straight and easier to walk on
I remember all of them. I remember the ***** they said, the ***** they do. If I spoke too soon, I'd be in a mental hospital by now.
sane or not. this is the old me from years ago.

be the love you never received.
be the comfort your loved one needs.
be the light in someone's dark days.
you can be all that. if you want to be like that.
it is tiring but rewarding and fulfilling at the same time.

cat got your tongue?
her tongue is venomous when triggered,
her tears are her serum
she might rip your heart, when she speaks harshly without thinking
experience is her best teacher
scared of a little threat? nah. all her life, she is living in a threat
you can't scare her, she might taunt you
try it, point a gun on her head, she might do the favor and pull the trigger for you.
she is fearless when mad, don't test her limits.
she is kind when you are kind, rude when you are
don't be mad, she just mirrors what you do
scared to taste the bitterness of your own medicine?
she is just warming up, she was never in the exciting part yet
we were still here in the rising action, waiting for your fall like
of Babylon
if she wants to, she would...
like, she jumped out of the fence to run away
she ran away from home and never returned once again
she is a rebel but a softhearted one
she chose to be like that, for the cruel world is like that

I honestly don’t know where to start.
I don’t know which of the many thoughts troubling my mind I should talk about first. But there’s one thing I’m sure of—I need to lay this all out.

Let me begin with a question:
“Is it always going to be Ate?”

Is it always going to be Ate who has to adjust?
The one who’s always given the chores in this family?
This and that—reasons I no longer know if they’re even valid. But sure, fine, I’ll agree. Just to end the conversation. So we don’t have to drag it out any longer.

Is it always going to be Ate who sacrifices for the family?
Is Ate the only one who thinks of how to save money, how to prioritize what’s important—not luxuries, not personal wants, but you?
You first. I’ll be the last.

Is it always Ate who has to be the one to forgive and humble herself?
The one who takes on the responsibility, who does all the housework?
I know—I have siblings. But why does it always have to be me who moves first?
Why am I the only one who will take the initiative?
The one who thinks of what to cook?
Who does the laundry, washes the dishes, cleans the house?

I know it all by heart. You don’t even need to remind me. I don’t need to be told.
But what about you?
What happens if one day, our parents are no longer here?
What if we, siblings, were the only one left?

Will Ate still be the one who teaches and disciplines you?
Back when I was your age, I was already aware of my responsibilities.
But now, what’s happened?
It’s like you’re being swallowed whole by your screens. There’s no initiative. No concern for your surroundings.

Maybe you’ve forgotten—Ate is human, too.
I’m not a robot. I wasn’t made just to follow orders.
I get tired. I get hurt.
I have feelings, too.

I hope you understand that.
That I also have my own life to attend to.
I’m not a servant who exists to follow commands.
I don’t need to be paid to do what you ask, because no amount of coins or rest will ever truly give me the break I’ve been longing for.

Tired? I can endure that. I can survive with only a few hours of sleep. I can juggle work. But what did I get in return? I got sick. I lost an adrenal gland, and no amount of money you hand to me can make up for that.

Exhaustion and sleep deprivation? I had to deal with both. Instant noodles and barely any nutritious food—that’s what nearly killed me. Coke and coffee replaced my water. Watching over our sick grandmother became my daily routine.

It’s not that I don’t know how to be thankful.
It’s not that I’m ungrateful or that I don’t have a sense of debt for what you’ve done for me.
The debt I carry in my heart for a lifetime can’t be repaid with silver, gold, or money—
But with lifelong honor and respect, for bringing me into this world and for raising me. For never abandoning me.

You never heard me complain.
You never saw me throw a tantrum.
You never heard me explain or reason out—because deep down, I know your minds and ears are closed if ever I try to express how I feel.

I understand. I know you get tired too.
But my exhaustion is different.
No amount of sleep, pillows, or beds can fix this.
Because sometimes, even in sleep, my mind is still noisy.
The only cure I long for in my aching solitude is peace, silence, and the shore. That’s all I want.

That’s all for now.

With love,
Ate :)

Don't smile or laugh in front of me pretending you're happy or enjoying talking to me.

Don't be fake, plastic friend.

Don't think your anger towards me can cover it up. Tsk, I wasn't born yesterday.

I love that stupidity of yours, by the way. Your mindset seems to be regressing.

I know...

You're just joking around, fooling everyone around us that we were close, but nah, you're just actually really mad at me.

You know, everyone knows you now. I never did tell anyone about it. Your actions speaks for itself. Your actions were exposed. Not my words against yours. Only, purely yours.

You revealed yourself from the crowd. Millions of judgment coming from them. Judgment and critiques is in the eye of the beholder, but exclude me out. I am not one to judge, for I do not belong in their circle.

You are a laughingstock, a weakling. The talk of the town. You earned the fame in the headlines—breaking news.

I just gave you the taste of your own medicine. But I didn't do all the work. I didn't acted upon about it. Only Karma and God did the rest.

Now, I hope you learned your lesson. If not, history will repeat itself for you. Or else, you will experience a painful grave torture.

Smash your face repeatedly until you give up. The Devil is not my accomplice, only God is. Face yourself in the mirror, for you to know who The Devil's accomplice is—and that is YOU.

Do I have to spell it out for you? Nope. No need.  What you caused me is always never enough.  But I was kind enough to forget it all. I was genuine enough to forgive you despite all of the mistakes you did and the damage that has been already done.

Give me time, and I will forgive you fully. But, I guarantee you, I will no longer swallow my pride to fix and mend the relationship you broke right from the start.