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how to get my thoughts out of my mind
seems quiet, but it was deafening me
I felt like a failure
They said Rejection is Redirection
So I guess, it seems cool.
why did I bother coming home
when my home was not considered
a house to live in anymore
It was like a ticket all the way to hell
Why don't you hold her hand and not mine
I was drowned at sea, I should have died instead.
Why am I still here?
Wrapped in cords of machines and popping pills
Just to keep me alive.
Based on an AI game I play
Do you have four eyes? — Oh ****! Yes, I forgot squinted eyes.
You report everything to your mom like you are a ******* CCTV.
Scan my life, since I am under surveillance.
Scan well, fool!
I can be whoever I want in your story, right?
Well, make it sound plausible for everyone to believe in
Try persuading everyone that whatever you say is true
Let everyone witness what your naked eye saw
Is it, now? Is it, huh? Okay.
These are things I have no control of.
I am both the one who tells the story
and the one the story is about, which is which?
Now, let the reader decide.
To Whom It Concerns—and it concerns you all,

They call me the villain.

Not because I wear a crown of thorns or command thunder,
but because I stopped apologizing for existing in my own skin.
You turned your gaze toward me,
and where you didn’t understand,
you colored me dark,
drew fangs where there were lips.

I once clapped for you.
Laughed with you.
Stood at the edge of my own dreams to make room for yours.
And when I fell silent,
when I curled inward to heal,
you called it distance.
Then defiance.
Then danger.

I watched your words spin— villain, selfish, dramatic, cruel.
Your chorus found rhythm in my silence.
You rehearsed your lines with such conviction, that I forgot the script I once wrote for myself.

Well, allow me to write it again.

I am not the poison.
I am the girl who tasted it and lived.
Not fire-breather, not monster.
But if I must breathe flames to survive,
then so be it.

Yes, my wings are broken— but they didn’t fall off, they were ripped.
And I stitched them back with thread made of my own poetry.
So if I fly crooked, don’t marvel—just know I am still in the sky.

I am the villain in your story because I dared to become the hero in mine.
And I refuse to apologize for it.

If I frighten you, it’s only because my voice has grown louder than the silence you hoped would keep me tame.

With unrepentant breath and scarlet ink,
—Me
Well that's me
Telling everybody what they see
That I am the villain they wanna see
I hurrah'ed, applaud for them
In turn, they mock me.
****, everybody wanna be like me
Don't wish, I am just a normal, random young adult woman
With broken dreams, broken wings
Not everyone wishes to see.
Like a dragon, it breathes fire
But me, I breathe and exhale poetry.
I noticed the drop dead gorgeous stare of a woman.
Was it a stalker? I sense crimson danger in her perfume.
If looks can ****, I'd be dead by now.
If words can stir trouble, your ego is bruised.
I fight fire with fire, honey, I am gasoline
One more light with a matchstick, you end up in flames.

Everybody wants to be my enemy,
Now come to me and I will welcome you with open arms
I sense danger sent by the evil blended in among us
One to be a spy or just a chameleon

The roads I walked on trembled,
Just like you, stuttered when cornered
Let me remind you, girl
I am not one to cause trouble, you are.

I learned to whiff like a dog,
To know who my friend will be
Or who my enemy is.
And you are both, an enemy disguised as a friend.
And I won't accept insults from you disguised as a joke.
Oh, but I insulted you, disguised as a sarcasm.
you want game? I will place you in one.
beware. no one makes it out alive.
how does it feel?
to be played in your own game?
be tricked in your own set of rules
Is it fun to be played? No right?
so why play when you do not wanna play fair?
you do not know the mechanics of this game.
but you seem to act as if knowing the rules by rote memorization makes you win
know the rules by heart and you win.
honey, you are not suitable for my liking.
and so is the game you play.
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