you remind me with the bright spring day when the sunlight peeks around the green leaves; you remind me with a nice summer day when the blue ocean hits the shoreline and the birds humming sweet lullabies. and i hope somewhere somehow you will find your path as the sunflowers turn around along the field to see your smile. and i hope you will smile at the shooting star as you close your eyes and make wishes like its the last time of your life. and i hope the constellation and also the moon will always lighten up your dark sky and be there for you even in your darkest times. and i hope you will see all the city lights from the ferris wheel at night and the butterflies inside your stomach will dance until you feel so weak and i hope you will reach all your dreams and always be happy out there. and i know you don't realize this but i hope you understand how much i care about you and how much i love you.

I'm tired
No, not that kind of tired
Where it can simply cured
By sleep

I'm tired
Of all the things
That put me through
And through

I'm tired
Of all the times
Where I've almost
Shed a tear

I'm tired
Of all the friends
That used me
Like my feelings never existed

I'm tired
Of all the life
That makes me suffers
Days and nights

Essentially, I want
to love what has
never been loved
before

to hold what has
never been hurt
against my heart

to fight death
with my bare
hands

and conquer it

In the summer
I stretch out on the shore
And think of you
Had I told the sea
What I felt for you,
It would have left its shores,
Its shells,
Its fish,
And followed me

You are a blur to me
I cannot remember how many times we have kissed or how often you say my name but I remember the feel of those lips and the way you sound when they are speaking words only for me. I dont know how long I have spent in your arms but I know that hours are not long enough and I know that when you laugh at something I say my heart skips at least three beats. I know that your every movement is vivid and fluorescent to me. I dont know how many times you breathe in a minute but I know that your heart sounds like steady drum and it quickens when I tell you I love you.  And I do mon amour, I do.

I want you to look into my eyes and see shelter from the storm of society and selfishness that smother our spirits and leaves us broken and alone.

I want you to rest your battle beaten body in my warm embrace and know that the wars of yesterday are over. That you can lay down your arms while taking up mine, leaving the attacking forces behind and staying home to defend that to which your heart has been entrusted.

I want you to hear my voice and know that nothing else matters but we two. To know that calmer, gentler times are on the horizon. Times safe from uncertainty and fear, loneliness and solitude.

I want you to accept my hand in yours and know that, from this moment forth, everything will be alright.

2 weeks without these thoughts
i really thought i was getting better

but alas, it's just the calm weather
before the storm

blood on the paper
lines on my skin

drown me in this sea of red
let it drown my thoughts
let me feel the pain
to make sure that i am alive

gross sobbing
through the night

it won't disturb
your peaceful sleep

oh heavens, i hope to feel
this peaceful feeling
only the dead knows

drown me in this sea of red
let it balance the pain of my heart

drown me
suffocate me

my heart cannot take it anymore