i shouldn't write about you
i shouldn't miss you
i shouldn't love you
i shouldn't need you

but...a part of me always will
only time will tell
if i let go
if i can give up
on what meant the most
we'll see tomorrow

as much as i say
that i hate you
a part of me
******* loves you
it suffocates me
knowing that
you're happy
because of someone else
that person gets you
and i don't
that person gets to hold you
and i can't
that person sees you
and i cannot
distance kinda broke us
and our connection apart

you'll never see this
or know of it's existence
but just know
that my heart
is yours
even though
it truly hurts
to see you loving
someone else

you have pictures of me
saved on your phone
i wonder why though
because you don't love me
although i was stupid to believe
that someone so gorgeous
would ever take a chance
with an ugly disgrace
like me, myself and i
i was so blind
by your light
that now i cry
because you broke me
and i
have only myself to blame
i let my guard down
and now i am
drowning in pain

Something is invading.
Squeezing slyly into the space where I store my most precious emotions.
It's squeezed out all the happiness, the hope.
I'm desperately trying to hold onto the best parts of my heart.

There's something that I need to cull.
The thing is a he.
He's poison to me, only to me,
'Amends' are impossible,
Contact is dangerous,
Reconciliation is a desperate dream that will lead to outright war.
My heart is sore.
My eyes are dry.

I love him, and I want to die.

A pearl is kissed; licked
By a gentle, questing tongue,
Ecstasy greets her.

Do you remember all the harm you have done?
Do you know how many hours I had spent crying?
To me it seems like you did it all for fun.
Why did you keep lying?

Because of you everything changed.
Our memories together went from sweet to sour.
It's like our memories were exchanged.
My feelings and perspective of you changed within an hour.

But now I have learned,
That I must let go of your hurtful actions.
Although in the inside your words had burned.
I had to find a way to get you out of my mind- a distraction.

But that is the past and I must let go.
For we can't hold a grudge or waste time on something that happened long ago.