What will happen to me?
I can not breathe,
I am not productive,
And I usually say that I don't want to live anymore.

What did it mean to you?
When I said you were the reason I lived?
When I told you I was committed?
When I told you I loved you more than anything on Earth?

Why was I not enough?
I made mistakes, but my hand was forced...
People placed thoughts in my head...
I grew them and blew everything up

Just like my love for you blew up
Just like now how I feel okay talking to you (because it comes naturally)
But when you talk about her I just want to die?

What will happen to me?
Will more pills will help let me pretend I don't have this problem?
Swallowing extra extra extra doses of pain killers for the wrong kind of pain?

I have lots to look forward to, but
Remember those times when I said you made the rest of the world disappear?
It works in the opposite too...

Earlier I wanted to die again
While 4 hours ago I felt fine to hang out with you.
Until I get to see how someone else has taken my place in what I used to be to you.

I'm tired of writing things like this
But you're killing me
I needed you back
If not only for a bit
I needed you to take things slow
Instead you're head over heels for someone new
You replaced me in such a cruel way,

Last words to me were about our commitment
The next ones were directions for me to forget us ever being together again

This isn't the way you wanted me to move on at all
And I'm not really moving on because if you'd stop all this madness
I'd be very happy and much satisfied
But it would hurt you and it would hurt her
Because you made a mistake
You know I didn't deserve this
But at the same time, you like it too
But when you're doing this
What do you expect from me
And why don't you understand what I expected from you?

I have cottonmouth and I'm choking
I miss your hands so I bring them close
I sit you down next to me again in my head
But your hands are full of cotton
You stuff my mouth with cotton
I'm gagging on the cotton
And you're still pretending to be compassionate
Ignoring all my gagging and choking
As you fill my mouth with cotton with a smile
Your new love sitting right on the other side
She is smiling too

*** was that last "poem"?
I can't move on
You hit me with your train
I'm just a pile of splatter
You can't stop anymore to clean up!

I see you.
I see myself in you.
I see not the facade that you set like a mask upon your pale face
or the strings tied at your wrists, pulling your arms every which way
or your pain trailing behind you like a black cloud, thunder cracking, as a smile stays
your present is my past
i know you.
Our veins are corded rubber bands that stretch from our arms,
around our backs through every checkpoint joint in our bodies,
they slingshot feelings throughout
so that not only will our brain feel the hurt but everything else too.
We are every single broken person thats searching through the rubble of their own mistakes, hands bleeding, praying for shards of their splintered heart to appear
i am therefore you are and vice versa
im aware of the struggle you go through
that unbelievability that you can swing your legs from your bed and make it through the day
i am conscious of the crippling insecurity,
the four walled prison that you built yourself
the bars, stronger than anything even superman could bend, that are made of the insults that have been muttered
I identify with the confusion with which you feel lost
you don't know who you are
when you lean your head back and subconsciously search the starry night sky for your meaning
I'm there
I am you, and you are me
in a simple merge we are one  
it has always been this way
and it always will be