I'm Forty Three

Lines form on my forehead and neck,
lines form on my upper and lower deck.
I'm middle aged without a plan,
I'm thirty something, I'm an old man.
I'm forty three, no idea what I want,
going blind and needing bigger font.
Forty three, gotta get away,
I've been straight, I've been gay.
I've gotta get out of this place,
my parents want me out from the crawl space.
I've gotta thirty something brain
and an old geezers heart,
I blame the dog, whenever I ****.
Took forty three years to get this far,
still listen to cassettes, when in my car.
Don't always know what I'm a saying,
Uncle Sam, I keep on paying,
not gonna tell ya, what I'm a weighing.
***** swing low from the left and the right,
silly kids always ask, Mister was there always light.
Every bone in my body cracks,
rolling in sand, I leave wrinkle tracks.
I'm in the middle age of my life,
I've been a boy, girl, husband and a wife.
I'm thirty something and an old geezer,
I listed to Elvis and also Weezer.
I'm forty three and I like it,
I travel around with a Depends kit.
Yes I like it, I love it, I like it, I love it,
I'm forty three, forty three, forty three,
and all this yelling made me ****.

question mark eyes,
dust specked with
anguished lies.

his graceless feet
are always dancing
but not to his soul's beat.

songs sung with unknown
notes, so he drowns himself
in the bars that are shown.

perhaps one day, he'll
read the sheet music,
but for now he's still
dancing to the mysterious
tune and he always will.

stuck with what he's got,
tortured by what he sought.

that's the tune of the world.

Forever is ephemeral, tricking our mind that joy will never effaced, fooling our thoughts with unsaid promises. You should begin to live the now. Life has stood still for you to come and reach it, but I'm afraid it's starting to give its first steps. Your fear restrains you from the fiction of the always and the possibility of the now.  Afraid of being afraid, frighten of never BEING, of being too much, too little, too open, too shy, too loud. Too many things concerned you and nothing worries you at the same time. While they're boarding the plane, you're unsure to buy the ticket. Those fools may be holding onto a superficial idea but at least they're grabbing something, what can you say you're clinging to? The only eternal concept you cherish is the one of cowardice. When will the stream of feelings running through your veins matter over the importance dedicated to those who can't relate to you? A forever may be childish but a never translates unhappiness.

To be completely honest,
You do not know what I am capable of.
You treat me to same way that
So many men I know
Treat their wives,
Including my father.

They order them around like slaves,
They blame them for things that are out of their control.
Yet they expect them to be superwoman
In the office, in the home, and in the bedroom.

The men in my life have been overly critical thus far.
Call me fat one more time
Is all I have to say.
I am not someone you want to mess with anymore.

This is not some "I am woman" rant.
I just want to tell these boys
That if they want to become men,
Keep it in your pants until the women in your life
Say yes.
Or until they say it meaningfully.

If you think that commenting on a lady's body,
Is going to make her fall in love with you,
Or want to ***** you,
You are sorrily mistaken.

It's actually just plain creepy.

en·dear·ing
enˈdi(ə)riNG/
adjective
1.
inspiring love or affection.
"an endearing little grin"
synonyms: lovable, adorable, cute, sweet, dear, delightful, lovely, charming, appealing, attractive, engaging, winning, captivating, enchanting

enough for you?

Would you **** me in my sleep
If I asked you really nicely
And batted my eyelashes for you?
You beat me down and target my emotions,
You are wearing me down to the core.
Why not just put me out of my misery?

I wouldn't tell a soul.