say something, I'm giving up on you

we argue about the slightest things
we always voice our opinions
but you say you would rather argue with me
than be with someone else

I'm learning to love

your eyes shine like I have never seen
and your touch is different than those before you
but I feel like my love will destroy you
inside and out

and I will swallow my pride

my corrupt soul is what is going to send you running
and my unexpected nights of crying
and wanting to end my streak of being clean
but you still hold on and refuse to let that scare you

and anywhere, I would follow you*

you seem to know best for everyone
but do you know what's best for me?

empty house and a damaged soul.
I can't stop thinking.

If I had been looking through
the window (as I am now)
seeing myself there (as I imagine now)
standing on my porch awaiting
his embrace

would I have stopped myself?

sometimes all
you need on a
cold day
is a cup of
green tea
a burgundy fuzzy throw
and a notebook
and gel pen
to write your
poetry in