Do you miss it?
The innocence
The ignorance
When kissing and hugs were still icky
It wasn't about ***
And didn't make you long for something real
When the summers were all sunshine
And no school
And you didn't have to go to bed until 9 instead of 8
The times when mom always
Had hot cocoa waiting when you came inside from playing in the snow
Alcohol was exciting
When mom gave you a sip
Because it was Forbidden,
And now it's just a way to escape the gray misery
When cooking was fun
Because you COULD and didn't HAVE TO
You could make a mess of flour and dishes
But now you have to clean up after
Your money can't go to gumballs and quarter machines
Now it goes to rent and car trouble
Staying up until midnight was still fun
Instead, you have to be in bed at 7
Because you have to work tomorrow
And after that, you have a doctor appointment
Do you miss when Saturdays were for sleeping
Not running the errands you couldn't during the week
A day of shopping was fun, and now it makes you nervous because you only have $60 in your wallet and you still have to get a few groceries
A day at the beach was fun
You would come home tired
And sun soaked
Now you only dread the sand you'll get in the car
People ask how you are and you tell them
"Great!"
Things aren't great
But they really are okay
Because you don't have lovers, but you are loved
Your siblings are friends instead of annoying
You used to fight with them over the last of the soda
But now Pepsi makes you sick
And your mom isn't mean anymore,
She's your anchor
Your best friend
You call her more than your 12-year-old self would have thought
And your dad is always there
When you have questions about
Life
Cars
Small fixes around the house
You got good rest last night
And that's enough for you
Even if yesterday you drank three cups of coffee because you needed the energy
Not just because it tastes good.
Because you really do feel fully rested
You go home to a quiet house
But your plants are enough company
And maybe your neighbor would like to come over for tea on the weekend
You work long and hard
But that's okay because you know you'll sleep well
And you have church tomorrow
And the singing always makes you feel alive
And when the sun sets
On your day
It's lovely,
And you watch it go down with a glass of something cold
And make a mental note to pay the water bill
Some of these things are true of myself, some are not. Some are things I experienced, and some are things I wish I had. I miss the days when life was simple-no money, drink, ***, professional ambition, it was all just wondering what was for dinner and avoiding cleaning my room. My dad always says "The more things change, the more they stay the same" whatever that means. ;) I'm learning contentment right now. It's something I've lacked for far too long. But it's better to drink water and go to bed And worry about the rest tomorrow.