So much hate surrounds us.
At school.
At work.
In the home.
Sometimes it even comes from strangers.

But sometimes it comes from inside.
It swallows your being.
Growing like a mold in your mind.
It takes over.
Consumes you.
Until one day
One day
You've had enough-

Get good grades
Take collage level classes
Get a job
Have a social life
Go on dates
Be pretty
Be skinny
Be normal
Be stable
Be safe

I need an escape.
To most teens that's drinking or smoking..
But no- I can't do that.
I  have to be perfect, don't you see?
In the church
In school
In life
But I'm only 16

There's a dark secret I keep
It use to be my escape
But it's affects are running out
I need something new to take me away
And that something I'm afraid, is you.

I once read that one cannot gain cold
But that there can only be an absence of heat

This make sense to me since I'm always cold
But those around me can feel heat radiating from me

Maybe this is how emotions work as well,
There is no sadness- just absence of happiness

This proves that you can be so cold on the inside
Yet somehow be so warm and bright on the outside.

You can think of light this way.
There is no darkness- just absence of light.

It can also be said that
There is no hatred- just an absence of love.

Use the map
That's printed on my body
If you want to find me
If you want to know ME
If you want to know my feelings
Follow the map

Follow the signs
And the trails etched on my being
The marks or construction,
And the marks of destruction.
Follow the map that snakes up my legs
And across my hips
Follow the map to find my soul.