Becoming strength,
Rush, adrenaline, euphoria rising,
Clarity, confidence,
No nonsense,
Special powers of preserving peace,
Strong beliefs in patriarchal release.
Paternalistic pushes.
Societal hushes.
Delusion, medicated.
Weighted away,
Hunted,
Linked to those who snap,
Violent men stabbing on the news,
Psychotic patient on the loose.
Clamp with chemical controls,
In case we too harm others,
No room for why,
No gentle investigation,
No chance to engage,
Only block potential rage.
Medicated.
Brain fire-blanketed,
Smothered, light gone.
Fight through fog,
To fumble conceptual log,
Neural connections bomb.
Capability for work?
None
Muscles ache,
Dragging weighty pain,
Stiffness works to drain,
Ability to move.
Hunger gnaws nonstop,
Sugar sugar eat the lot,
Gather round me weight I’ve gained,
Neurotransmitters reframed,
Appetite metabolism shamed.
Fat, hobbled stiff, dumb,
Medicated numb.
But what if the goddess,
This salt-laced part of me,
Is not madness,
But memory?
What if,
She rises not to drown me,
But to raise me in her tide?
Amor made of currents pull,
Voice clear with waters rush.
What if,
The goddess,
This part of me,
Is a tool I can use?
To no longer permit abuse,
Set boundaries, enforce,
Allow me power,
Power taken from women.
I allow her, gently investigate,
This fluctuating state.
Euphoric adrenaline rising,
Chest inflating, heart opening,
She blends with trees,
Springs, rivers and seas.
Not crazy just no longer willing to placate.