Sometimes I wish I still saw you
Not him, not her, but you
But the things I did chased you away
And now I regret
After we parted ways

I promised you I would keep loving you
And wait till you gave me an answer
But along the way I strayed
And lost sight of you

Now you ignore me
When I text, when I say I'm sorry
I hope time could rewind
So I could change how I was infront of you

But it's too late now
I would never see you again...

Isn't it funny
how someone can ruin your life over and over again
and then it just takes one phone call
and you run straight back into their arms?

I remember when I was 12
There was this really cute guy
He had the most perfect hair
And the most amazing smile
I felt this connection between us
This little spark of attraction
And I liked him so much
That I named it was love
But day after day passed
And someone asked
'So you like her?'
'Nah'
I was broken
'Why?'
'Because she likes One Direction!'
'What if she didn't?'
'Still, not a bit'  
'Why?'
'Honestly, she looks like a pig!'
And there I was
In a broken hearted barn
In the mud of insecurity
As a filthy creature, darned
I could cry, I could wail
But I held myself and slept
Dreamless darkness seemed
So much better than the real
And when I woke up
Just for a moment
I thought it's all okay
But then it struck me like a lightning bolt
Everything came crashing down
I hated myself so much
For being so fat, ugly and hairy
For how I looked and who I was
For my skin and my very bones
And from that day on
I let him define for me
My being, my beauty, my value in life
And love, how it'll never be mine

You're an Angel
"You're an angel", he says.
But beloved, how can I make you see?
My wings, they caught fire, and now they're the color of ash.
"You're heart is made of gold," he continues to say, "the purest there could possibly be."
Oh, Beloved. My heart?  It's made of wax and stone. It melts and hardens, all at once at the sight of you.
"Your dreams and ambitions are what makes you beautiful," he tells me.
Beloved... How else to explain, but to say..all my dreams are by road where the trash is. I'm falling harder, headed in a direction, opposite of the stars.
"You're a warrior. And I love you."
And then there it Is; the way He silence my fears. You love..me? A mess on the inside and an even bigger mess on the outside? Scars, bruises and shards? Me?
And so I smile,
because dearest Beloved ; your affection is what I live for.