does it comfort or exasperate you
that every single thought you come across
has already popped up in an other person's head?



your life
         has already
         been lived
before

have you ever tasted words?
the only one hanging from my tongue
is exhaustion

i promised i'd speak up
you promised you would listen
he promised he wouldn't go away
she promised better times were to come my way
we promised we'd stay here forever
you promised all was fine
they promised we would remain intertwined

exhaustion, once again
i'm tired of fixing your grammar mistakes
i feel heavy with guilt unnamed
i feel empty 'cause i gave everything away

in a world of disappointments
i am my own whirlwind,
and
thrillingly; i suffice.

where i fail,  i am true.

hubris tendrils are the only ones that'll hold me close
your appearance is extraordinarily redundant (if i'm quite honest in my prose)
nothing new here to witness, just the monthly overrated sickness
killing softly with a silver knife in the darkness's burning plate
clichés, i hate, but i won't let me sway-
i need to find my center quick! & i need to find my place
so i can be with someone else that won't grow weird and gray
so we can laugh about the many i have trampled on the way

spit out your clichés at me
and call me heartless,
devour my pessimism without an ounce of the regret that's engraved on my very bones,
chew on the crippling loneliness
that haunts my thoughts and dreams
and ***** out your stanzas of
"roses are red and violets are..."
yellow.
'cause they've never seen the sun,
they're paper thin and falling apart
so i'm focused on ignoring people telling me to look for "the one".

i fear all my next poems will be
filled with despair
the quiet weight of a horse no longer to be shared
the clangs of falling down pans over
spilt (milk) diarrhea
the falling out of words meant for good intentions & affairs

nobody seems to
be willing to bear the weight
of the girl that scribbles poetry
on the back of her notebooks

i
lost
              a
       poem

skinny violence, never to fade
changing sequence
shifting shadows, piercing eyelids
at the water's embrace
        
no one is safe
come out, come out,
come out and play
just a microsecond, wait
fill me up with fuel hate

today i switched my contact lenses.
the world became a couple of noises,
blurry lights and never fading shapes.
honestly, the world looks prettier
when you have to peel back the layers.
when you know just how ugly it already is
you really have to strain to witness
anything new

i'm done with reaching
and never achieving,
of meeting half way
for you just to belittle me.
don't patronize me,
have you even seen
how much I've grown?