Maytin Paige

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

You like me now.
Or so it seems.
But one day,
I'll do something
to mess it up.
And you'll be gone.
I don't want to be alone.
I can't seem to sleep alone
due to these nightmares that haunt me.
Ones only you can take away.

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

Maybe It's Me

I can't seem to hold a best friend.
They run off after so long.
Ignore me,
find reasons to avoid me.
Maybe I did something wrong.
But I tell myself not to apologize.
Not to swallow my pride and apologize for something so stupid.
Saying hi to another friend isn't something you should have gotten
mad about.
But every time,
I swallow my pride and apologize
for something I probably shouldn't.
Because I don't want to lose you.
Now, neither of my best friends
are wanting to talk to me or be around me.
After the unmentionable number of best friends that I've gone through,
maybe it is just me.
I'm sorry I don't do drama.
That's why I'm a tomboy.
I don't do drama
and avoid it as much as possible.
But now I feel as if I have no one to talk to.
Truly,
sometimes the only person you can rely on,
is yourself.
And I learn that lesson more and more every time.
I'm sorry I can't tear the entire wall down
to the ground.
I just have to protect myself,
because I can only take so many blows.
Maybe it's me.

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

On Your Own

Venting out on
Social Media
about how you feel
like no one cares
and that you feel you're losing
everyone you love-
how no one seems to be there.
[The only reason anyone would vent on Social Media-besides those Attention Seekers]
Or maybe how you hate everyone.
That one person (or two, or three)
always has to comment
"What about me? I'm here, you don't hate me."
The **** I don't.
You're not there.
Not truly.
You say you care,
and maybe you do.
Just not enough to keep it to yourself.
I hate you.
Don't come in and try to tell me how I feel.
It doesn't work that way.
Just like I never cry in front of anyone.
Because it's none of their business.
Because I don't like having people know I'm broken

I don't vent on Social Media. Just an example-thought process.

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

What Else Would Take Away This Pain?

I try to swallow
the lump in my throat,
but it stays in place.
Restricting my breathing.
I"m surely surprised by
the want of a smooth beer
running down my esophagus.
My mouth suddenly feels dry.
I bite the inside of my lip.
Maybe I could drink enough to forget you.
But I know that the whiskey
won't be strong enough to take away this pain.
I wonder what you would think if you found
that I drank myself to alcohol poisoning.
Would you even bat an eyelash?
I just want to take a shot
to see if it'll take away this pain.

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

Modest

I remember the days when
jeans would come up past
your belly-button.
Now they stop before they reach
your stomach.
I remember when
skirts and dress
were long enough to cover the sacred places.
Now they're barely long enough to leave
the slightest bit to
imagination.
I remember when
tank tops
showed just enough cleavage to drive a guy wild.
Now they hang low,
showing everything.
I remember when everything was
modest.
Now everything is revealing.
I remember when being modest
was ****.
Now being modest
is to be a *****
and hideous.

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

Friday Night

She strikes a match across her jean shorts.
The fabric for her pockets stick out under the hem.
Her eyes linger on the flames for a second,
like she's pondering
of lighting something she shouldn't.
She breathes in and bends
to light a couple of branches
in the pile.
She drops the match in the middle of the pile
watching branches catch the flames.
A smile spreads on her face
as she climbs up onto the diamond plated tailgate
of his black truck.
He smiles and hands her a glass bottle.
This was her Friday night.
Hanging out with the guys in
the fields.
He nods towards the thick brush
behind his truck.
She smiles to jumps to the ground
following him into the dark.
The sounds of water lapping a bank fills her ears.
She watches as he slips out of his shirt
and she steps out of her shorts and top.
He eases into the water as she jumps from the rotting dock.
This was her Friday night.
They float in an area that they could stand.
And when they did,
they locked hands
and shared a kiss.
The frogs croaked
and
the cricket chirped.
This was their Friday night.

Maytin Paige Feb 2014

I Miss The Days of Playing Ball

You nod towards
the mustang.
A yellow ball in your hands.
I smile and slip a bat from my softball bag.
I climb into the drivers seat,
sticking my tongue out at you.
You laugh and climb in.
I drive to the track and field combination
with the seatbelt alarm chiming the whole way.
I shift into park and climb out.
I swirl the bat around
waiting for you to set up your pitching stance.
You throw the ball and I line drive it by your face.
You dive left and up.
The ball smacks into your glove.
I round second and you start running after me.
I step off third and your arms trap me
as you spin around
bringing me down
on top of you.
We burst with laughter.
I miss these days.