Maytin Paige

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

The problem with town's like
this one,
is that
everyone who grows up here
wants to leave.
A small town,
a small elementary school,
a gas station,
a couple of bars,
one diner,
a tiny church,
and a ton of well rounded
people
who have hospitality filled hearts.
We're a goodbye town.
When we leave,
we seek to leave our
demons and devils
and secrets
behind.
But once we return,
so do they.
Memories come back and haunt us,
rip us to pieces because we miss them,
we miss certain people.
People who cared,
who would wave
and say hello everyday.
One's who knew your first name
and you best knew theirs.
This is just a goodbye town
where you feel you have to leave
because the one
you love
left too.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Amortentia

I think I drank
a tube of
Amortentia.
The most powerful love potion in the world.
Rumored to smell different to each person
by what they're attracted to.
Scents fill my nose.
Sunshine absorbed in your skin;
the smell of outdoors-
air, leaves, trees, grass;
soap used to wash away dirt and secrets;
laundry detergent to remove stains from your clothes;
minty toothpaste to whiten pearls;
and shampoo to remove oils from your wavy strands.
Sometimes a hint of chlorine from your shower's water tank.
The smells overpowers me and I float on scents
that seem to
get me high.
I think I drank
a tube of
Amortentia.

Harry Potter fans will know.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Overdrive

I turn my fan on
even though its
winter.
Just to freeze.
I wrap myself in a cocoon
of tied blankets
letting warmth seep into my skin.
Limbs press together shakingly
wishing for it to spread faster.
I want warmth
and comfort.
But I can't have those.
Maybe I'll wake up with them
But as of now,
late at night,
my mind flows
with possibilities
and responses
and ideas
and wishful daydreams
that will most likely never come true.
because I dream too big
and my brain has to process everything
on overdrive.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Time

It's 11:19pm
The time is significant to you.
I want to call you up.
I want to see what you're doing.
It is now 11:20pm.
This time is significant to me.
I want to call you up
Only because you're the only
person I know
that would be awake.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Father

Father,
forgive me,
for I have sinned.*
My skirt slides across the wood seat
of the confession booth.
I don't want him to ask where I've been
as I've been away.
I am back because these are worse.
I've laid my former confessions
to rest.
Father,
did you miss me?
He stays silent.
My throat clears.
I've been away, for awhile
He doesn't ask where I've been.
But I want him to know-
know that I've been gambling with
the devil.
Do you hear
those wedding bells,
Father?
I've been getting heavy with the devil.
Did you miss me Father?
Visuals of him biting his tongue
circle my head.
Father, don't
bless me
because I have sinned.
I'm a walking sin,
and Father knows this.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Honestly, Tell Me

Here's one last chance.
Take it while it lasts
because I can promise
that it will end.
My tears are time
wasted trying to find
reasons for goodbye.
I fail every time.
I dream about you.
I wonder what it would
be like
to kiss you.
I'm stuck with these emotions.
Honestly,
just tell me that
it's over.
I won't chase you
even though you're my home.
Tell me that it's
over
and I'll be the first to go.
I can't be the last to know
it's over.
I've wasted tears trying to find a goodbye,
honestly, just tell me it's over.
Just, please.
Honestly tell me.
Please I don't
tell me that
it's over.
But there's a reason for goodbye
that I've wasted time
turned from
tears.
Honestly, tell me that
it's over.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

You

I miss the way you'd tell me
goodnight
and how you'd text me in the
morning.
When I look at you,
I can see the little
innocent boy.
I can tell by your face.
Even though your jaw has strengthened,
the way it is defined by a hard line;
even though stubble grows on your face.
I see the way your fingers twitch
when you're nervous.
I see the way your eyes wander and space off for a few seconds.
I can tell you're tired by the look in your eyes.
The way your hair becomes volumized when you hold it back with your hand
as you read something.
I see the way your jaw clenches when you're upset.
The way your body relaxes in a chair.
I see the way your shoulders hunch over
after you roll them.
I hear the way your voice rumbles through your chest.
I see the way your eyes search for my face through the windshield of my Jeep
as I pull in behind you.
I see the way your stare lingers,
our eyes seeking meaning
and answers.
I miss our memories together but mainly
I miss the way you'd tell me goodnight
and
text me in the morning.