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Kendra Canfield Feb 2012
thoughts, collecting
creating
birthing children of doubt;

they cry, they scream
and thoughts, though parents
disappear
and leave me with orphans
picking their feet and noses
smiling tirelessly

they have scared away sleep
and eyes wide open
I wait
for the children of doubt
to die like their parents
to dissipate and
leave
me
be
Kendra Canfield Feb 2012
and I am better
I haven't been this happy
since I was too young

but there's a blank in the sentence
that makes up my mind

I thought "happy"
was the one that fit best
but maybe not

at a loss and with empty words

maybe I'm not meant
to find meaning this young

I am a child
I am barefoot
and I am wandering
Kendra Canfield Feb 2012
I remember taking my time.
I remember patience.
I remember when meaning was something I assigned, not something I looked for.
I remember when my hair was gold and my eyes were blue and the smile on my face reflected truth.
I remember not needing.
I remember before I had to.
I remember when numbers, were numbers.
I remember when thoughts didn't have a page length.
I remember seeing what is, what was, before I was told to see this way, not that way.
I remember before all I could say about understanding was "I remember."
I remember understanding.
I remember not wishing I were somewhere else.
this was a writing exercise, but I like parts of it sometimes.
Kendra Canfield Dec 2011
like liars
like spiders
like terrible habits

I'll come back
and I'll slip
silently
into terrible
likeness

nothing, only
I will be
ghosted
in opposite
I am a mirror
reflecting transparency

careful, taking
touching, I am
unnoticed, I will leave
footprints, imprints
tempers adjusted
and retinas
burned, branded
with blank spaces
empty, a vacancy

I am a mirror
I am invisible
I am taking everything that you ever loved
Kendra Canfield Dec 2011
I'm thinking out of order
last things first,
the middle at the end.
help me stay alive
my eyes are open wide
images are blurred,
ideas, they collide

I'm hoping
that somehow
out of this
I can write out my
indecision and my crippling over-inspiration
beauty and detail
are leaves
shivering and sidling
up to me in the wind
trembling, and swiftly
only just out of my grasp
when i reach out to muse
upon their frail lace,
veins of understanding
an intricacy for which I am greedy

distractions are taking me
on paths I never desired
to walk
they're dark
and unfeeling
though endearing,
engulfing, whispering, promising

I find wonder
in nothings
diction is taking me
I am kidnapped
the ransom is specificity

I'm falling further
into impermanence
reaching for reality
Kendra Canfield Dec 2011
the truth is held only by those
who bare no impressions
and leave none
behind
Kendra Canfield Dec 2011
the fog lifts
and the heavens rise
from around our ankles
and takes with them
no one
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