matt r: Poems

73 · Jun 7

matt r Jun 7

arthur russell, falling in sea
soundscape//spacelike in 4D

I ask You,please,fall into Me
& pluck at my heart like a cello
Please,in C,fall into Love & Me

another weird rhyme

the one before this, '******,&listening,to Her/She', is under review for copyright for some reason. that *****

73 · Jun 7

stoned,&listening,to Her/She

matt r Jun 7

******,&listening,to Her/She

vashti bunyan, i am rocked/
/fluting free to Her melody

You put the kiss in kismetly,
it is My reassurance of fate/
/destiny/She's/loves always
for Me,

"a bit of a weird rhyme but **** it"

72 · Jul 4

beam,to Me

matt r Jul 4

beam,to Me

tonight, You glanced off
the wall like a suggestion;

just headlights, though. I
see You in everything.

69 · Jun 24

utopia

matt r Jun 24

utopia

where,honey &lemon
  is replacing the
flowersome air,where
the sea is not half
   as sugary as

all the little somethings
       (I want all the
  little somethings)
,but nothing & nothing
   is what I,ve found.

is relief grown
in riverbeds,where   is
  content & her litter
of reminders that,'every
thing    will be   okay?

one of My
       little somethings
,to Me,       shows I am
okay, on board&sailing
           for utopia.

64 · Jun 17

what it might be is not love

matt r Jun 17

what it might be is not love

,a friend told me. she was
in love once, & since felt
the knife slide right through
her. so love is just a stomach
ache, then. love is the uneat
-ing unsleeping thing inside.
love is magic, it is so much
like pixie dust; try & hold it

,i told her. feel its ridges
& folded edges. feel its
amorphous underbelly & tell
it that it doesn't hurt like
you. tell me you see purple
in a deeper hue, and that
blanket weight on your collar
bones is heavier than mine.

i'd love for it to be not love.
i'd love to have an hour of
eating & sleeping where i am
not imagining sharing it with
You. do You think of me, too?
what it might be is not love,
what it might be is a stomach
ache, what it might be is over

soon, what it might be is never.

61 · Jul 9

olive

matt r Jul 9

olive

little Magpie, dancing your rooftop
waltz. your wingtips catch my eye

,into dizzy love, & i see one
thousand two of a kinds.

this kinda reads too clunky idk im too ****** to tell.

60 · Jul 15

dread of Love.

matt r Jul 15

dread of Love.

who are You,really,in Your
  mythical beauty?
who are You really to              pin
                                                   twist
real pain    inside of Me?

"just a Girl",driftinglikejune,
  & I am so               (un)lucky to
have sewn My (stupid)  gaze
           in this            (mis)fortune.

commit Myself completely
  to the dread of    Love.       I am
feeling so hurt&sorry               , I
am so soft&melancholy.   growup.

59 · Jul 9

pine

matt r Jul 9

pine

& now You are gone, as
moonlight was ever there,

& it is all so expansive.
loves swelling undercurrent.

56 · Jul 2

re embering

matt r Jul 2

re embering

years ago My Mam made
Me a blanket.  Her fingers
wrought realisation from
the present,       & I sit
beneath That every day.

I imagine burning It     ,
corner to corner, to a
web of sparking reality;
a web of every    little
two-headed         Lamb.

I read It, I cry&read It
again, become fraught
with unbecoming. every
Lamb saw twice as many
stars, &so I see it too.

this morning I sought
the centre,    turned one
million holes        to one,
& channelled everything
to   My own experience.

ode to 'the two-head calf' by laura gilpin.

54 · Jul 8

rockskim

matt r Jul 8

rockskim

you fingered the rock,"watch
this" 'd & threw it lochward.

it swam weird; no splash or
seam in the wave. how many

little things slip through her,
when she folds as she does?

51 · Jul 17

use My body,as

matt r Jul 17

use My body,as

a sliver of the moon
.rub starry lather
'cross hotwax
formations,rivets
in exploratory
'fections.
textured lovin' is
a spacewalk,baby

51 · Jul 24

sharpsmooth

matt r Jul 24

sharpsmooth

folded,sharpsmoothly,
,cross My spinal range

I'm as belonging to Her
as My shape is strange

50 · Jul 14

utter unblueness

matt r Jul 14

utter unblueness

utter unblueness, cursing
my outward future
                                  i am
falling.        roundacircle

(into & into & into myself)

slowing,gravitate wards
  dizzing perplexity
& enjoy it,oh so deeply,

i am god's hopeless agent

50 · Jul 14

(blueing of the moon)

matt r Jul 14

(blueing of the moon)

i am growing into this
               cobalt
               speed way,,
   as if dipping limbs
           , silvering,
never seem to end

50 · Jun 30

grey,white

matt r Jun 30

grey,white

I find Myself
  in Him, in the
    way I say
   "I like this."
I find Myself
         becoming
like the lapping
yearsome waves.

He is someone
    it's worth being,
My always there,
  My mate.
                   & I
listen to His music
  & tap the way He
    always has.

it is something
    to find some
white on me; the
   firstly sign
of aging.       it is
something else
    to be Him,My
old man is here.

46 · Jul 14

You have lost Me in the Water

matt r Jul 14

You have lost Me in the Water

second chance at        ?
                                    what
this                                ?
this       unloving of Kizmitism

?no,   I think I would rather
                                     .   sip up
  the Pain   ,directly from
         the Pool itsself

You have lost Me in the Water

& that is       living like a Wave
                                   returning
into & into & into Itsself
                         ...       returning
into You & You & You

46 · Jul 22

in pixiefields,

matt r Jul 22

in pixiefields,

obtain,Gardengirl,
& plant me

              deep
er
    than    anemone

(days wilt like U)

sunshine,midjuly,
will bide his time

(& when pixies
        ,braiding
with his light,
parade  in cars of
golden bluegreen)

then   i will wake
a perfect Rootboy,

&     ,I will expand
under every love (
but Urs) & nurture
foreverness,always

45 · Jul 8

pinkscape

matt r Jul 8

pinkscape

like violins played My hair
,it could never be so easy;

,hills would sooner be pink,
than You 'ld see 'em with Me.

45 · Jul 15

a brutal thing,to want

matt r Jul 15

a brutal thing,to want

love is the unkind thing
(purposeful & exacting)
,yit its wide arms hold
(truth in abundance,&)
me,to rub away the sore

things ,peel out under
(eyes,chin,sternum,waist&)
bedsheets,so it is always
(drawing out sweat,you are)
close to me. a hurting thing.

44 · Jul 14

gentle,fin,gering

matt r Jul 14

gentle,fin,gering

keep up                 ,Hope.
do I pray,nearly for      You,
,
,Yes         like         the crying of
                         cupids
        & the  gentle,fin,gering
                               ofthe  lyre

43 · Jul 8

dogfalls

matt r Jul 8

dogfalls

the rocks dripping. one two
one to polyrhythmic bliss

how boring would it be to
fall together, We wash ov e
r

I said I'd stop writing about You. You said You'd stop reading 'em. I wonder if You'll ever know.

42 · 5d

jim-jam

matt r 5d

jim-jam

You are why I am here so early;

hoped to see,&just see,

not say a word.

===============================

& You are there;

at home with Him,eyeing

Love's great big omelette eyes.

41 · Jul 21

once more,to see Her

matt r Jul 21

once more,to see Her

discarded cigarette packet,wet
&mulchy,lines up the morning

no smoking ecstasy in store,fog
descends reduces all to atoms

41 · Jul 10

raze

matt r Jul 10

raze

raze the dead
flowers&grass cuttings.
the beetles walk around
all funny;owed some
new lease of life i think.

39 · Jul 21

love is a cool gold band

matt r Jul 21

love is a cool gold band

my dad's wedding ring around
my neck i press it to my lips

imbued,not half,with promise

love is a cool gold band

38 · Jul 24

cirrus

matt r Jul 24

cirrus

there's magpies everywhere
,do You see them scaling
laddering cirrus clouds

She breathes deeply ,blows
feathers 'cross the horizon
,today we will fly the same

37 · Jul 19

kravitz

matt r Jul 19

kravitz

coooool me down, cats. its two
ay em & im thinking of You.

its funny,really(You're so done).
You're so done & yet You're like

watercolour. persistent in Your
always breathesome manoeuvre,

You should be,by universal right,
here. it ain't over til its over.

37 · Jul 17

la seine

matt r Jul 17

la seine

she picked up her plastick heart
,fingered the edge of love &

swept. the aspect of the man
,read poetry,acted soft. we are

all,, so soft. the dusktime settles
into our cheeks; le soir rouge.

36 · Jul 20

sweet nectar,Herness

matt r Jul 20

sweet nectar,Herness

inside wetwarm purity
is a slow release,a growing
curve undecadent,,

   excellent

                          , in Its
                         thieving
                         guttural
                        pleasure,

selfishly stalking Her spinal
arch

         (itself,reduced
          to waveform)

~~~ ~ ~~  ~ ~   ~   ~ ~~ ~ ~~~~~

Her
undecadence spills    &
washes

supple.rolling.landscapes

til we are unclean with Her
'ness

               sweet
               nectar,
               Her'ness

like 'i Saw in Her eyes'

31 · Jul 22

You must let Me go

matt r Jul 22

You must let Me go

throw the slowing force
,spin&dive,loose
in a falling way. You
must let Me go. centre
Me into cosmos & I will
drift on to another love.

please,please let me go

29 · Jul 22

negative tension

matt r Jul 22

negative tension

palmed into her mouth as she
was the sun

  O                      swallowing

the texture of recursive ***

'there is no tension      o
here', any more.

0                                 space
                           is colder than
the interlinking of    'spheres

28 · Jul 24

holy(ing)

matt r Jul 24

holy(ing)

her gilded grooves,i
left on Your neck.

dipping a body in
magnificence(holying

names of women)& She
is richer than she,,,

28 · Jul 20

something other than love

matt r Jul 20

something other than love

(puppets passion like
fruit falls) strikes.

it is new,cushioned
as softness but carries
airs of bruising

..not bruising,overripeness,
& it is as sweet as wanting
love,something else entirely.

27 · Jul 21

(instrumental)

matt r Jul 21

(instrumental)

she stood,playing
the crossword
    like her great
        double bass,
& i wondered
what would get
   tired first ,,,
        her feet or
            her head

25 · Jul 23

macrocovet

matt r Jul 23

macrocovet

do not breathe,in
reflection of the
pulsing macrocosm,

'stead covet her
bending form. she
is not,but living

24 · 6d

I know (I see) You clearly. I know

matt r 6d

I know (I see) You clearly. I know

I know,   (I see)   You clearly. I know

(You see)    it so. I know    (You feel Me)

,clearly You know    (I know You)   ,no.

23 · Jul 20

l'aero

matt r Jul 20

l'aero

touch love
,softsoap into breathing
the same feathering air.
bleeting new calflove

,touch,,fall
into it & roll with
love's drunk punches
,commands more glancing..

eyes, are blue
,& love is tall,
wears red & shoes lifts
e,namour amour

20 · Jul 11

sweetpea

matt r Jul 11

sweetpea

the firstly buttered lick of
  'who do i share this with?'
i am here,boasting my yard,
& the sun is warming her
   with tenderness.

She could set my soul free.
with Her finger, tilt
back my head til i loosen
         in a solar jacuzzi.
She could warm me too.

19 · 7d

a letter to j

matt r 7d

a letter to j

dear You,

You said you weren't gonna read these anymore, so let this float about in the void. for a little while, at least.

We spoke today for the first time in a while. it's been a few weeks really but it feels like years have passed faster. it's like since I've known You, time has been a wheel with You at the centre, & now I do not have You, she has toppled.

We spoke today for the first time in a while, and I think You saw why. We can not be friends, my dear. each time I see You in Love's long corridor My heart skips, My stomach turns. I have spent weeks crying tears over You, not sleeping over You, finding it hard to breathe over You. it is not Your fault, & I do not even dislike You. the opposite. I want nothing more then to talk to You, but I cannot do it anymore.

this week was the first time I felt in control of myself, but We spoke today, and now that is gone. You have to let Me get over You. I cannot keep not sleeping over You. You must pick up Love's wheel and push it on, my Love.

I know you miss Me. I miss You too, and I think We would have made something magnificent.

write soon

write soon

14 · Jul 23

do You want me,like

matt r Jul 23

do You want me,like

my neck wants the
raw wind? bitter

,biting cool&swallow
ing whole yet,so
the flavour of winter

13 · Jul 25

algal.bloom

matt r Jul 25

algal.bloom

once nothing before
it was around      Me,

consuming, chemical
imbalance.  a photon

too much      here,a rivet
for something to   grow,

algal bloom was coming
,the green is so    aglow

11 · Jul 17

le metro

matt r Jul 17

le metro

she tilted'yes', with love
in her eyes. the rattling

experience of time spent
together?forever. who is

the authority on love;he
wears a belt&tickets hope

0 · Jul 17

love you to love me

matt r Jul 17

love you to love me

flat,on the grand scale of things,
where confidence boys chinupwalk

way into her hearts(trying anyway).
i am not rocking, metaphysically

still, my mood swims on the ceiling
,doing its funny little backstroke.

0 · 4d

lived one & i have lived

matt r 4d

lived one & i have lived

lived one & i have lived
them all. breaking the

morning like coffee;bitter
-ness flows throughout.

if i reach up with a tea
spoon, stir the sky

to a milkshake, note the
cloudform pareidolia down;

well, the weatherpeople
must be artists too.

0 · 4d

in Love, & advancing

matt r 4d

in Love, & advancing

locking gaze (Yours,
    fleeting rabbit)
,must have kindled
something merriweather

growingred,like a
puddle who was spilled
            kittenish,
i saw You where I was;

in Love, &   advancing.

0 · 4d

loving Her

matt r 4d

loving Her

loving Her is like a peach,so juicy
in its richness,reach     up the clouds
                                 ,pluck off
Your sweet,     candy Love is Your reason
     to be.
Her beauty lies    in trees,seas,  bees
                       abuzz
the flowers knees,  the ecstasy of Love
is all:         a stream, a lake, a waterfall.

if Love is weather, plantlife,     & water
is limerence then her sickly daughter?

peaches **** wasps to them,wasps reach
                                          clouds,&
reap mayhem. trees are sappy, seaful salt
   could turns bees honey to liquor&malt.
I am thinking of Her, time is ticking,
          flame of love eats candles wicking
so look
upon Her face,& see      Love        is gone.

this is the last one. i can't do this.

— The End —