am i guilty as sin?
he didn’t write ‘mine’ on my upper thigh
but building up made us feel so high
only in my mind

am i guilty as sin?
i never touched his skin
but we had little trysts
before the sunrise met our eyes

and if “there’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk”,
can i have these fatal fantasies over and over again,
without being guilty as sin?

300.

he says vehicle
where others say car,
he avoids the
paparazzi, he
likes the same
twigs.

titanic.

used to be in wales, now all shropshire,
borders. a small town with plenty to do.

qubed gallery quoted poetry, refinely
drawn. one man left standing, my face
collected.

salt in abundance, ready for the pigs
head, he really was making brawn,
ear stuck from the saucepan, with
plans for brains on toast for tea.

i lost earth and heaven,
read greengage summer instead.

rummer godden.

“im fine, seriously. its mostly just. seasonal moods and generally being miserable from summer vacation. does not help im getting my ID in a few weeks. or that i'm supposed to move out in september. literally did not plan this far which. is so scary. i didnt plan after becoming 17. oh **** oh god i did not plan this far. how the hell did i get this far i literally just sit in bed and rot i dont even eat most days it just feels like everyday’s a loop and now im just supposed to play the responsible adult i dont know how to do that and i just feel sick these days and”

“maybe you should exercise more”

“i mean. yeah probably”

i don't know how old i was, 8 or 10.

I climbed out the window
onto the roof of the garage.

it was summer.

I lied down
and gazed at the stars for hours.

i reached to touch moonbeams,
and with my finger
drew a circle around the north star.

i dissolved into the hush of stars
free of want or need.

a single heart beat.
I, the wind, moon, stars.

I long to lie on the roof, again,
gaze at the stars
and filled with wonder.