Walking on this thin line
slowly tripping over my tears
trying to catch you as
you walk away, leaving me
alone.
I see you pause, to look back
and see me desperately chasing
you. Moving on after a moment
I try to run
I try to do more
to catch you
but I can't even get a grip
on the wisps of you
as I fall behind.

Beaten and bloodied.
The waters all muddied.
He never picked up the gun.
He picked sticks and stones.
He battered their bones.
Simply the job was still done.

I hate everything about life,
the only reason I'm alive
is because I don't believe in suicide.
If I died tomorrow,
I'd only see it as this curse
of being alive was finally lifted.

I'd be sad if you died.

You shouldn't,
because life is a burden,
when the burden is lifted,
we can be peaceful in the realm of the dead,
no longer following society's rules
and having to worry about others.

Doesn't that seem so lonely to you?

No, because I've always been lonely,
I don't trust anyone because anyone I've trusted
eventually turned their backs on me,
not caring about how I feel about the situation but
about what they could get out of exploiting
the kind of person I am.

For what it's worth, you can trust me.

I'd rather not,
Because one day you're going to find someone
and forget all about me, it's happened before
and history repeats itself.*

History may repeat itself but I don't plan on being history to you.

I can't help but feel
That this isn't how life was supposed to be
I was not intended to be born
Wanting nothing more than to perish
And escape from all the suffering
That has plagued me for all of my days
And has kept me trapped inside
A broken heart, an empty mind

Death would be a release
From the day to day struggles
That weigh me down
Battering my willpower
Eroding any and all chances I have
To be happy, and normal
Instead of forcing smiles
With dead eyes

One shot should do the trick
Or a noose, nice and thick
So as to hold up the bulk of my sorrows
That have been on my shoulders for years
Better yet a handful of pills
And a dignified departure
From a miserable life
Into a blissful end

Looking for freedom
I think I’ve found it
Now where’s the courage?

Soft aching
Slowly ebbing
Ah sweet peace

But now my mind -
Tangle, warp, torture.
So I follow it
Into the downward
As it goes viral
Drop down
Blow up
Sigh through

Always
Will it ever stop?
I fear not.

Deep in my darkness
I feel within
The blackness creeping
a godly grin
Fire raging
Madness call
Ready for the raging roar

Yet calm is on the outside
Tranquil to the mass
Hidden from the proles
Go pass
This smile a gripping leer

If only
They could see within
If only
They would fear  
The madness set inside my head
A chill
The welcome clear

These blackened eyes
Do tell a sign
A way to stay away
Be wary of the softest grin
Inside
I have my rage

For you,
One Day.

I’ll just be a name,
A face in a picture,
A dusty old memory
Hidden in the back
Of your mind.
Like the sock that
Always goes missing,
Or the book that
Falls behind the shelf.
I’ll fade to black,
And thoughts of me
Will be fewer,
And farther between.

For Me,
One Day.

You will be more
Than names and pictures,
And there will never be any
Time for dust to fall
On our memories shared.
And that sock,
And that book,
I cling to them
In hopes that one day,
You will go looking
For those lost little pieces
That before where just,
*There.