I can't eat.
You think that I'm stupid,
But it's no small feat
Because though I can feel my stomach shrinking inside me,
I am stuck on repeat,
Starving, ignoring, forgetting
Yanking with this sharp leash
Saying don't eat
Don't eat
Don't eat.
Because maybe then I'll have some control.
Or the ugly will go away.
Maybe the black, consuming pain
In my heart,
Will finally turn to gray.

The best gift
That a person can give me,
Is one that is written on paper.
With thoughts that are real,
And words that can heal,
From the heart, to make me feel safer.

I miss a person who I don't think I've met.
He'll love my fire
And won't mind my strong will.
With him, I'll feel safe,
Completely at peace,
Still intense but
While my mind remains still.
His arms will be strong,
Reassuring and kind.
And it will not be perfect,
But I know
Someday I will find
My home in a person.
I feel it so deep.
My heart, though it's breaking,
Was given hope it will keep.

Her hair is like the sun,
Lighting up the day.
Mine is like the midnight sky,
To which lost souls gaze in utter dismay.
Her eyes of gentle, calming blue,
And mine of piercing gold,
My simple, sad, repeating story
Is just now being told.
Every time, I understand.
I expect this dull feeling-
I don't stand a chance.
The girl with the fleeting
Look in her eyes,
With raven black hair,
And a deadly fire in her smile.
She's never the one,
The one to catch his eye.
And though it pained her deeply,
She learned, on her own, how to fly.

Kissing you
Felt like fireworks
Underneath my skin
Wanting you
Felt like waves
Crashing against my chest
Needing you
Felt like salty tears
In dead eyes
Loving you
Felt like a hurricane
In my unfeeling soul