in a room full of strangers
id still know my place is at the back
ill keep my head down
and look for the confidence i lack

my days are filled with emptiness
its been days of deafening silence
and days with satisfying pain
its been driving me insane regardless of a license

but my nights are different
theyre dull but blue
theyre peaceful in a way
but still my heart is filled with people i can talk to

cause my heart is filled with strangers ive loved
and its filled with strangers ive lost
and now that i wanna talk about my ****** day
i know that talking to them would come with a cost

break your heart for me
said the one i loved too much
he doesnt smile nor does he frown
he looks like we just plainly lost touch

sing me a song you know i love
said the love ive had that i had not taken care of
she seems genuinely surprised when i told her i cant
because i cant remember her favorite songs, the keys are all off

lets be alone together
said the one who thought i loved too little
he cant look me in my eyes but hes holding onto my heart
i held onto his hands and crushed my own heart, a things so fickle

tell me the truth, not your truth
said the love i never knew i could have
shes strong and caring but i cant begin to understand her request
i told her my truth is all i know and the truth is a thing i cant grab

tell me a story, a good and happy one
said the one i cant ever love truly
my reflection stood in front of me, firm, unwavering
unlike my faltering soul that begand crumbling fully

and just like that im also a stranger on my own heart
lost and fazed, confused and frustratingly hopeless
cause my heart is filled with strangers i have loved
and now its filled with acquaintances that will never love me back

I used to think of you as an angel.
But with those wings, I wish you'd reenact Icarus' death when he flew too close to the sun; the long drop into the sea.
Maybe when you drown you could feel how suffocated I was all this time.
Again and again like some sick person would rewind my pain on a worn vinyl.
Heartbreaks aren't always equally shared, darling.
Sometimes I wish you suffered too.

-m.b

Maybe if I don't talk about love, I
wouldn't want it anymore.
But it is as though it is my
name. I couldn't look at it with abhor.

For love is a part of me
and as much as I try to scrub
it off me, I couldn't bleed
myself dry. I can't make this up.

-m.b

I had this pretty vision of you, of us.
So meticulously designed,
I wanted it to come true. So trust
me when I say I was broken
when it didn't turn out the way
I wanted it to be.
I wanted it so badly, I would pray
for you and me.
Many times I felt so hopeless
because you aren't what I planned.
I placed you in boxes
when you should have been freed.
I'm so sorry but at least now I can see
The only toxic person here was me.

-m.b

They say that the people in your life
crosses your path for a reason.
That everything is an epitaph;
carved forever, shapes you into a person.
I suppose it's true. My journey is a drive;
passing by houses filled with antidotes and poison.

Cause honey when I think of you,
I think of cuts and bruises;
I think of gaping wounds, skin turning blue.
These are the things my mind chooses
to remember, even if it's not entirely true.
I try to change my mind but it refuses.

When I think of you, I try to remember
the good moments we had. Like laughing,
embracing, midnight talks together.
Tell me why do I only remember lashing,
hurting, being worried that I'm an offender?
You'll always be the villain in my story telling.

I suppose everyone has an expiry date.
After some time your insides began to rot.
My craving for you turned to bitter hate.
I threw you away because loving you, I could not.
See, all these thoughts of you, made me afraid.
And you were my life's biggest lesson ever taught.

-m.b