the door opens
   the sun shines through
the small child
   walks out to do

her chores of morn
   feed the chickens
and hungry rabbits
   water the dogs

back to enjoy
   warm breakfast

my nature is vile
and pure and peaceful and cruel
and here i am now

the fly carcass stuck
on wall ten years monument
to a life well lived

love is just moments
one by one each at a time
with conscious effort

i know there was time
i loved all the world in mind
cake on eighth birthday

do not burn the cloak
with me it is beyond the
ken of fay wisdom

beautiful woman
revolver pick up truck beer
on ice a true sight

in a think my third
eye opened just a lose dream
awake different

hounds of hell talked to me last night
hounds of hell talked till it was light
didn't know what they said
just confusion in my head

and i listened oh i listened
to the growls of hell
i listened oh i listened
to the howls of hell

went awake inside my head
saw the face of satan yeah
image of a normal man
kinda looked like you my friend

and i listened oh i listened
to the howls of hell
i listened oh i listened
to the growls of hell

the monkey in the
picture looks like me
my ears ain't that big

for distant future
tomorrow looms dear and close
imagination

dopamine dopa
mine window of the all home
you be me so soft

i don't write i flow
i know not what am doing
just i say hello

i saw a dog in
my mind when i was seven
truth profound i saw

young squirrels run on
spring grass fast just new life joy
exhilaration

fine gold horizons
to destinations unknown
all is just as is

i felt a kiss
upon my mangled cheek
valkyrie

the tiny dog the tiny dog
walks slowly in my brain
and tells me of ted bundy and startrek
i am the big dog in charge
and leader of the mind
though very uncoordinated
i strive to be free ha ha
don't miss the transient memory
it is all there to see but i
turn away and watch the shadows
on the wall,,,,,,oh so beautiful

as time collapses around me
i feel a melancholy dirge

and call upon a master
not ever believed in

to save me save me a hollow sound
that dances across the centuries

from lips of hopeful dreamers of love

a life a life an
innocent life we were once
ha ha i love you

i had a dream of
emerging into dark empty void
warm comfort infinite expance

random patterns of
choice was my life here i
am now ha ha ha

there is creation
of meaningless words and is
tempest manifest

i act a lot like
a **** on toast but i help
sometimes means something

foreign tongue fast babbling phone call
to half a world away genetic kin
easy as dirt
like the dirt that owns the blood
half a century away
land of snows and lapis sky
hungry maroon monks incanting
barbaric yawp pujas in
decadent political system
controlling the yellow spirit and red blood
of happy ignorant sad intelligent humanity
of the there then
it's always been like this world
when mighty mao and red army liberates
with bullets prisons mortars torture
barrel of the gun communist truth
rippin tongues out with meat hooks
father of such misery you can not see
they treat everyone like this
not just you         yaa that dirt

the battle was
and yes i saw
a tempest

to tell to all
not a victor here
nor a conquered
just a soul not dead

Zeus was called upon
   and failed
the Titans were called upon
   and failed

men fought unaided
   as always

life ain't the master
of me no longer i tell
it what i will do

i saw a dog in
the mind of me again yes
oh he hurts me so

i saw a demon
in my eye it wanted me
to act i said no

"Traversing"

The vastness of the universe
Ignites my soul
Thoughts burst forward
Traversing the void
A shimmering mist of awareness
I drift
On the silence
Of infinity
I merge
With the power
Of a billion suns

at this time i am
ignorant of observer
and empty of am

i do two percent
of what i believe is true
i am not all bad

the dog barks two times
i go outside to look see
the hungry bear dies

you see you feel you
think you choose and that last one
is so difficult

you think
therefore i am

cigarette smell room
the scent of *** pounds the air
essence of journey

are we anywhere
a figment of our own mind
we'll see yes we'll see

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend VI "


I've told you of my many mind changes
Not just the surface dross, but the living
Core of the root. The blurred symptoms bending
My sight to destruction, the hate of ages
Thriving within, the tainted defenses
Of ego that burned pain with their weak soothing,
This I told you and more. The thorned purging
Of childhood's conjecture, the strength that is
Formed, sturdy and deep, in one days effort,
The acceptance of self, which slow but true
Did lift, this I told you and more. And the vast
Labors of molding the light and dark shape
That frames my world, now glinting a soft burst
Of love's color, this I've told you, and more.

You are such a faithful mirror i stand
Close to see myself as best i can. Which
Is hard to do with both eyes closed in such
Fierce a fashion as is my habit and
Pattern. But here and now this you and i
Walk affirmed to one another without
Twisting our minds to suit and please the thoughts
Trailing mud arisen from the rank sty
Of selfishness in the so called other.
Some may see a forced bond with jostling dance.
Let the blind bang their heads in ignorance.
United in chords of friendship freer
Than life, or death perhaps, we move between
The narrow gates to search for hell, and heaven.

now is just a thing
we do between birth and death
i am among gods

with a mind lapsed view
we fill the void with our thoughts
just warm splash  no frog

i am a bear and wall
many things can ****
bear and break wall

i want power i
want all power and i will
misuse it greatly

the pure hallowed souls
of tribes children behind us
we stand resolute

empty words in a
pattern that comes to nothing
the zero is sum

i saw a man waiting for a rat
to come out of its hole
so he could eat it

the snow was menacing but i
did not notice i passed by
no avalache ever came

standing naked on a small ledge
thinking waiting to drop hard
i masturbated and left

white pettles on ground
heavy trees with rain present
path i now do walk

i sparkled a couple trillion
brain cells
one-one thousandth of a second
ago
blue sky and whippoorwill

walking the dark night
footprints of something old
softly plodding

i stink
among the universe